Past Afflictions
by Miss Tie
Summary: I figured I had lost my mind when the only logical explanation for my situation was time travel. I knew I had lost my mind when I found every affection I had ever held for Sasuke Uchiha was still very much intact and directed completely at the twelve year old boy who I had somehow managed to sit beside. God damn my life, and that bitch who put me here.
1. Rekindled

**Summary: I figured I had lost my mind when the only logical explanation for my situation was time travel. I knew I had lost my mind when I found every affection I had ever held for Sasuke Uchiha was still very much intact and directed completely at the twelve year old boy who I had somehow managed to sit beside. God damn my life, and that bitch who put me here.**

There was something odd about the way I awoke that morning. I rarely ever found myself in my own room, let alone my own bed, tangled up in the covers. The time was familiar; maybe sometimes before five, before the sun came up, so I'd be dressed and out the door at dawn. I stretched out my arms and legs, satisfied to find I wasn't sore like I usually was from training. My eyes, hazy with sleep, swept across the room as I tried to piece together my half-conscious mind.

That was when I realized that my room was the last place I should be.

I threw the covers to the floor, my body instantly missing the warmth, and stood. I never slept in my room. Since my parents had died, I chose to sleep in their bed more often than not. But everything in my room was normal, and as I looked out to the hall, no signs of any life. I tried a tentative sweep of my chakra across the house, and I was stunned to find I couldn't make it. I passed it off as exhaustion. After all, I just got back from that crap mission that took three times as long as was assumed and left my nearly completely depleted of chakra when I got home.

I simply assumed I had slept walked, though I did take very quiet steps out into the hall. I tried to mask my chakra, but when I couldn't manage, I figured I was low enough that I wouldn't be detected if someone was here. I surveyed the hall as I made my way towards my parents' old bedroom, eyeing the family pictures as I went. I never moved anything the day my parents died. I moved back into the house and kept it exactly the way my mom had decorated it. It reminded me of them in a way that almost made it seem like if I turned, they would still be there. Alive.

The only thing I had ever removed was the mirror hanging on the wall outside of the guest room, because I had seen myself in it after their funeral and punched it out. It shattered. My knuckles suffered the after-effects, and I threw it out.

So, needless to say, I was frozen on the spot when I saw it hanging there again. As if I'd never touched it.

I didn't move for a second, wondering who thought they could fuck with my mind by hanging a mirror on the previously unoccupied wall, before walking over to it to take it down. When my hands wrapped around the frame and pulled it off the wall, my eyes flickered to my reflection.

Then everything was kind of a blur.

I remember screaming, dropping the mirror on the floor where it shattered at my feet and tore into my ankles. I heard footsteps, voices, familiar voices, ones I had heard long after their deaths, but never outside of my mind. I remember catching the warm eyes of my mother, wide open in fright, maybe worry, before finding the strength in my legs to stand and bolt out of the hallway, down the stairs, out the door, down the road, and into the forest, before collapsing in some clearing I didn't recognize. On my knees in the moonlight, I curled into myself, tearing my fingernails into the rough soil beneath me. I think I screamed, I don't remember.

Five times I tried to release a genjutsu. Each time nothing happened. Nothing changed. And each time I became more desperate.

I knew I was crazy, but the only explanation I could think of for this was the gods, or the spirits, or the fates, or whatever the hell was up there thought it'd be funny to send me back to when I was twelve.

I think that it was with that realization that I fainted.

* * *

I wasn't out long, because when I opened my eyes it was barely dawn. For a few blissful moments, I forgot everything that happened that morning, but soon enough it all came barreling back. Looking up at the brightening sky, I tried to take the logical approach. Or the most logical.

I was twelve. That much was obvious by my long hair and scrawny legs. Not to mention my complete lack of breasts (not that I really ever grew into them anyway) and lack of anything womanly in general. Without my signature headband (or maybe this was when I still wore my ribbon?) My hair fell messily over my forehead. I'm sure I had dirt smudged on my face, because it was all over my legs. Also, examining my fingers, the tips were smudged with blood. Probably from when I was trying to claw into the ground with my virtually un-calloused skin.

I tried to think of past events. Reasons. Theories. Anything to understand why I was here. Obviously it wasn't a genjutsu, I had worked myself into a frenzy trying to believe that it was. So, the only logical explanation was…I had been thrown back into my twelve year old body with my eighteen year old mind and I was going to relive all of this shit again.

That, funnily enough, didn't sound very logical.

I tried to think back again. Anything that could have foreshadowed time travel. Anything that could have led to this.

And I thought back to that woman on the mission

_This mission was lasting way too long. We were supposed to be back in Konoha by yesterday, not crawling our way through gutters in a town we should have left four days ago. But that Asshole judge who knew what we were coming for had to make every fucking move we made difficult. All we wanted was that fucking scroll, a stolen fucking scroll at that, and we didn't need Mr. Pius, law abiding, Asshole to get in our way._

_And then crazy woman who he appointed to fight us was mind fucking me like crazy, I swear._

_I don't remember her name. I don't think I ever learned it. But it was rumored she could get into your mind. See your thoughts, your inner-most thoughts, and use them against you. I thought it was bull-shit, but I was slowly beginning to believe it. And that other rumor about her being a witch was becoming more believable as well. _

_We snuck our way back to our hide out, some hole in the ground deep enough to survive a meteor shower, and sat at the far corner surveying the team I came here with._

My mind made things from here on out a bit fuzzy. But I remembered an anbush. Shinobi were everywhere, my men were holding their own, but nothing more. We weren't winning by a long-shot, we just weren't losing. That was when I came face to face with that witch. Or sorceress. Whatever the hell she called herself. She was thin, so thin, and pale, with matted black hair and deep set, black eyes.

She was kind of creepy, in a word.

"_Sakura Haruno," Her voice was strangely musical for her appearance, and I couldn't quite match it to her face. _

"_You know my name?" I posed it as a question, but obviously I already knew the answer. I hoped it was because of my hair, not because of mind tricks or something._

"_Team 7." She continued, as if I hadn't spoken, her voice pleasantly melodious, "But not anymore. your poor heart."_

_I didn't bother asking what she was talking about. I already knew._

"_But I like you," She tilted her head downward, and her eyes were lost in the shadows cast about her face. "I_ _like your heart. It's not often I see a heart like yours._

_I briefly wondered if that was a threat or not._

"_Oh, I like your spirit." She grinned then. A frighteningly beautiful sight for one so comely. Her teeth were white, straight, but sharp. Each one evened out to a point, but they were dulled. I was more disturbed by the sight than threatened. "And your dear Sasuke-kun."_

_I froze then. Not so much because I was surprised, but because I was terrified with what she planned to do. She knew everything. Probably just from looking at me, who really knows, but she knew. _

"_How badly do you want to see him again?"_

_It was then I realized she was messing with me. Whether she could see into my head or not, it didn't matter, I suddenly realized her game. And at the victorious yell of one of my soldiers, I knew her failure. My men started to flee the scene, and I saw the scroll in the hands of one. I threw her a smirk._

"_What you were charged to protect is ours now. I no longer have business with you."I had planned to kill her. Really, I had. But as soon as I took a step towards her, she was at my throat. Her face was not even an inch from mine now and I could see the way her sickly pale skin dipped into her cheeks and formed a thin layer over the bones in her face. She looked like a skeleton._

_She said nothing, but she grinned that horrible grin again, her teeth shining in the sunlight. And then her hand dug itself into my abdomen, and her nails dug in. I let out a choked breath, and her eyes met mine. _

_There was something so frightening, so terribly telling about her gaze, that I succumbed to darkness._

_When I awoke, there had been the kanji for five above my navel, surrounded by five crescent scars where her nails had dug into my skin._

And I realized now that that kanji had appeared five days before I awoke in my twelve year old body.


	2. New Beginnings

It was already sunrise. Pinks and oranges and reds lit up the sky, but in the flurry of my mind, I couldn't bear to appreciate it. I stood outside my door, not wanting to open it. I was afraid of what I might do if I looked at my parents, really looked at them. I wondered if I'd cry. Or if I'd laugh, or smile. Or faint again.

Please God, don't let me faint again.

I put a hand on the knob, and after a brief hesitation, I opened the door.

"Sakura Haruno!" Usually, that tone would've scared me stiff. It was the kind of tone that meant I was in serious trouble. But right now, all I could do was focus on the white blond hair that cascaded down my mother's back. And her green eyes, my green eyes, that were practically on fire. And her apron, oh God, she always wore that apron, and I was stupid enough to complain about it all the time when I was younger. So before she could open her mouth to lecture me, I launched myself into her arms.

I didn't cry. Or laugh. Or smile, really. But my arms locked around her small frame and I didn't let go, I wouldn't let go, no matter how many times she asked me what was wrong.

"I'm sorry," I said, not removing my face from where it was buried in her shoulder, "I'm sorry, I had a nightmare and…I just ran. I fell asleep in a field. But I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, mom, I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything then, but hesitantly wrapped her arms around me and sighed. "What was it about?" She asked, her voice soft, the way she spoke when she was afraid to make me cry.

I decided I could tell the truth, or at least part of it. "You died."

Her hold tightened, and she let me just hold onto her until I was sure my eyes would stay dry if I looked at her again.

"So…" A deep baritone rang out, and without turning I knew it was my father "Is everything fine now?"

That was about when my mom finally launched into a rant about how much I worried her and how I wasn't allowed to ever do that again.

I just smiled and nodded along with her.

* * *

I was back in my kunoichi dress, the one I wore all the time when I was younger. It did nothing for my figure, (I snorted at that thought; what figure?) but it was normal for me. My hitai-ate was folded neatly on my dresser, and I tied it carefully around my head. It was weird, strange, standing here and seeing myself as I was twelve. But what I knew would be weirder, what I had been thinking about all morning, was seeing Sasuke.

And Naruto, I guess, but Naruto never abandoned me on a stone bench in the dark after I professed my love for him. I had kind of convinced myself that was his way of saying I love you too, but my lies were useless.

Taking a deep, calming breath, I slipped on my sandals and left the house, making my way towards the academy. I had to take about seven calming breaths on the way, because seeing the village in such bliss nearly made me hyperventilate when I thought about the war.

"Hey Forehead." I froze suddenly, every memory of Ino's and my bipolar relationship rushing in and I tried to pinpoint where we were when I was this age.

But then, really, did it matter?

"Ino-pig," I called back, turning on my heel and grinning at her. I realized with a small twinge of jealousy in my gut that even when she was twele she still looked beautiful. I comforted myself with knowing that I was the one who became the single greatest medic-nin in Konoha when I was eighteen.

It didn't help much.

"Guess who's going to sit next to Sasuke-kun today?" She said tauntingly, after the red on her face (from my insult, I'm sure) had faded. I let my grin turn into something cheeky. I actually missed this a bit.

"Whoever gets there first I guess?"

She took off suddenly, and while I nearly chased after her, the thought of finding Sasuke sitting in a desk at the academy with all those swarming girls, sitting there in his vengeful glory and hating the world around him, I felt a sudden pain in my chest. Because instead of twelve year old Sasuke, I could only picture eighteen year old Sasuke, and his eyes. Dead. Cold.

I stopped walking.

I couldn't think like this right now. Knowing the future was an advantage, wasn't it? I had a chance to change things, and even if I make it worse…

Oh, no, what if I make it worse?

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, taking another calming breath. It would be okay. I would be okay. And if I wouldn't be okay…at least I had gone through it before.

Strange, that thought didn't comfort me as much as I thought it would.

I opened my eyes and began walking again. I wondered what Ino's reaction would be when I didn't show up beside her. I'm sure she'd feel victorious. And then when I walk in, she's probably be plopped down next to Sasuke, grinning at me as if she just won the lottery. Which, I guess she kind of had, in her mind.

The Academy doors seemed so much more daunting as I made my way towards them. And though my palms were sweaty, I gripped the door firmly and pulled it open to step inside. The screams I met were actually painful, and I was ashamed that I used to be like that. I stood awkwardly for a moment, wondering whether or not I should sit over there or on the other side of the room. I settled for sitting somewhere in front of him. That would be safe…right?

But, evidently, The fates were not on my side today. As I walked by the fan-girl swarm beside Sasuke, a hand shot out and grabbed my arm.

"Forehead!" Ino. "Where'd you go? Finally decide that you didn't have a chance and Sasuke was mine?"

I laughed, not intending to mock her, but she apparently took it that way, considering how sour her face looked. I tried to fix it quickly, "Well, Ino, I could never hope to be as perfect for Sasuke as you. You desere him. Go on, take the seat." I leaned in, "That is, if these girls don't gut you first." My grin did nothing to quell the glare she was giving me, and I realized she must have thought I was being sarcastic.

Which I guess I kind of was.

"Listen forehead,"

"SAKURA-CHAN!" The voice was so loud I actually lost hearing in my left ear for a moment. But when I realized who it was, I grinned.

"Naruto!" He stopped suddenly, his face turning bright red, and I suddenly remembered he had a crush on me way back when. And that I usually hated him.

"Uh…H-Hey! Sakura-Chan," He let out some sort of nervous laugh, "You want to sit next to me?" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he waited for my answer. I nearly laughed again.

"Okay." His face lit up, and I grinned again.

"Great!" He bellowed, grabbing my wrist, "Let's-"

He never finished his sentence. Probably because when he tried to move, his ankle made contact with someone's foot from the swarm and we ended up falling into the middle of it. He was screaming as the girls trampled him without a thought. Laughing, I grabbed his arm and brought him up, trying to navigate me way through flying elbows and shoulders. Naruto suddenly tugged me to the side and I found myself crashing into a seat, laughing as Naruto's face collided with a desk.

Then, it was suddenly silent.

Looking up, every single girl from the swarm were staring at me with wide eyes. I stared back questioningly.

"What?" I questioned.

"Forehead, what the hell?"

When I finally realized what was going on, I turned my head slowly to see Sasuke's attention solely on me, and I realized that what I thought was the back of the chair was actually his shoulder. I sprung away as if he burned me, but only ended up cramping myself net to Naruto (who seemed to enjoy it just a bit too much) as Sasuke's attentions focused back to the front of the classroom.

"Sakura, what do you think you're doing?" Some nameless banshee screeched from the crowd.

"Sasuke-kun's mine!" Banshee number two.

"What does it matter?" Naruto suddenly yelled, and I was tempted to mentally label him banshee number three. "What's so great about Sasuke anyway?"

It wasn't until he was up on the table that I remembered what happened here. Before I could stop him, the guy in front leaned back and Naruto's face began nearing Sasuke's. With reflexes I didn't realize I still had, I stretched over and shoved Naruto's face away, causing him to end up in a heap on the floor, and I ended up awkwardly sprawled across Sasuke's lap.

"Sakura, what are you doing?"

"Are you trying to make a move on Sasuke-kun?"

"Stop defiling him!"

Forgetting for a moment I was still on Sasuke's lap, I turned my head and grinned.

"Would you have rather seen a rather intense make-out session between the love of your life and Naruto-kun over here?" I was pulled back into the reality of the situation when Sasuke tensed and I remembered I was still on his lap. Scrambling up, strangely more out of fear than the awkwardness, I sat back in my seat, yet again putting as much distance between Sasuke and myself as physically possible.

"Okay, class," Iruka-sensei's voice rang out, loud and clear, catching the attention of those wretched fangirls. "Take a seat, we're going to be listing teams."

I spared a glance at Sasuke to find his attention still focused on the front, but very briefly his eyes glanced down at the empty space between us, met my eyes for half a second, then back to Iruka-sensei.

I let the breath I had been holding out and looked down at my knees. Naruto had taken his seat and now there was hardly an inch between us, considering my fear of sitting next to Sasuke. Shaking my head, I forced myself to sit closer to Sasuke, knowing I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't help but have every muscle in my body tense at the proximity. But above the fear, was the overwhelming need to touch him. To hold him.

I figured I had lost my mind when the only logical explanation for my situation was time travel. I knew I had lost my mind when I found every affection I had ever held for Sasuke Uchiha was still very much intact and directed completely at the twelve year old boy who I had somehow managed to sit beside. God damn my life, and that bitch who put me here.

* * *

If I wasn't a mess during class, I sure as hell was at lunch. I had to search through my memory constantly, trying to recall the events from here on out. I nearly drove myself crazy trying to pinpoint when exactly Sasuke started to lose his...God, I don't know, his heart? His soul? Whatever it was, I couldn't figure it out. And how the hell was I supposed to change it, anyway?

But I was getting ahead of myself. Because honestly, I didn't remember this part. Well, not until now.

"Sakura," There, Mr. Team-abandoning-soulless-bastard stood, smirking. "You're forehead is so wide and charming."

My only reaction was to turn as white as a ghost.

"Makes me feel like," I suddenly realized how close he was. "...Kissing it."

Oh God. Oh no, please God no, don't come any closer.

"Just kidding," I didn't hear the rest of his sentence because I was currently dealing with my conflicting emotions. And the fact that he just sat next to me.

Damn it, why couldn't I remember this?

"What do you think about Naruto?"

Oh.

_Oh._

Now I remember this.

"Naruto?" I was legitimately ashamed of my voice. I sounded like someone had throttled me within an inch of my life, not like Sasuke told me he wanted to kiss my forehead.

And why the Hell would Sasuke-?

...Goddamnit.

"What do I think of Naruto?" I had managed to get my voice back to normal, and though I tried to turn to look at Sasuke, or should I say Naruto (fucking chakra signatures, I need to pay attention), I found I couldn't do it without that overwhelming feeling of fear that seemed to take over whenever Sasuke was concerned. I still hadn't found where it stemmed from.

He waited for my answer as I stared blankly at the row of trees in front of us. "Naruto's great." Was all I said. I was not going to grace him with any opinions about him considering at the moment, they were all vicious fantasies of beating his face in for pretending to be Sasuke to get at me.

Or...whatever he was doing this for.

"That's it?" This should have been the tell-tale sign. Naruto may have the appearance down, but the voice was all wrong. He made Sasuke actually sound human, rather than the apathetic, monotone voice that Sasuke always donned.

I finally found the courage to turn my head, but I hadn't anticipated Naruto to be leaning in, and found our lips brushing together when I did. Which, under normal circumstances, would have been awkward at worst, but considering he wasn't Naruto right now, but _Sasuke_, my whole body jerked back a foot, staring at him as if he'd just died and come back to life.

Which, I guess relates to my situation in a weird, metaphorical sort of way.

He was grinning like only Naruto could, which seemed to strange, and foreign, and _beautiful_ on his face, that it only succeeded in cutting off my ability to breathe. When he finally looked up at me, his face registered the terror on mine and he moved forward, one hand held out as if to comfort me.

"Sakura," But I jerked back again, tumbling off the bench but catching myself and stepping back a few steps. I vaguely remembered him running away in my memory, but this time was different. This time I ran. And although he called after me (only once, I registered, so that must've been when he ran away clutching his stomach) I didn't stop. Until I spared a glance at the path around me and was struck with such a familiar scene, I stumbled and barely managed to catch myself on a tree beside me. Flashes of a dark night, a full moon, and Sasuke, _walking away_, hit my like a ton of bricks and I sunk to the bottom of the tree.

I stayed there, crouched against the tree, fingers pressing into my temples, and taking deep, calming breaths, until I heard my name again. And when I looked up, there he was. Looking just the same as the day he left me, and I unconsciously pressed myself against the tree. He noticed, I could tell when his eyes flickered to my fingers which were digging into the bark, but he didn't comment.

"Have you seen Naruto?"

I was silent. I didn't trust myself to speak, but I did manage to stand, and briefly looking at my blood coated fingertips, I looked back up at him. I shook my head. It was all I could do.

"No idea?" He prompted angrily. I said nothing, "Considering the idiot is following you around everywhere you go, I would assume-"

"Don't assume anything about me." He stared. Just stared. Maybe he was shocked, I sure as hell was, but he didn't show it. He observed me for a moment longer, then his gaze hardened. As if I had insulted him. I quickly tried to find words to salvage the situation, but I couldn't get myself to speak.

He didn't say anything else, just turned and walked away, fists clenched at his sides and eyes tight with an angry glare. I exhaled heavily through my nose, closing my eyes and willing myself to forget the incident. I didn't even know what caused me to snap, but him standing there, questioning me, treating me like I was some insignificant _speck_ in his peripheral vision, I just couldn't take that with the memory of him_ leaving me_ on that bench like I never mattered. I couldn't stand the thought of being nothing to him again.

I didn't want to go through everything _again_.

So, mustering the little chakra I could control, I healed my fingertips. It was a frustratingly difficult task for someone who used to be (or would be, or was, or whatever tense you would use in my situation) the top medic-nin in her village. Then, with a freshly healed hand and a couple more calming breaths, I made my was back to the academy to meet our new Sensei.

To meet Kakashi-Sensei.


	3. Assessments

**So, I haven't been writing any author's notes because I haven't had anything to say, but last chapter, I ever so rudely ignored the wonderful people who reviewed my story! So a BIG thank you to Bloodygirl, walnut, and PockyPaint. Also, thank's to all those who favorited/alerted this story :) Evidently I'm not as interesting as most authors, so I have nothing left to say. Enjoy~**

**Oh but wait, there's been a kind of day by day updating...probs not going to happen tomorrow. Maybe Thursday though...we'll see.**

**Okay, done.**

Meeting with Kakashi-Sensei was the one thing that calmed me in this whole journey, because in light of everything, he was exactly the same. He came hours late to meet us, asked us about ourselves but refused to reciprocate, and talked and lounged in that familiar lazy way that was just so him it comforted me more than anything else ever could. Granted, I wasn't calm enough to give a sensible introduction.

"Uh..." That's seriously how it started, "I'm Sakura Haruno." Good start. "I like..." This is where it went downhill. "I don't know. A lot of things. I dislike...people who...well, people who are too swallowed up in everything they think is awful that they can't tell what they have that's good."

I_ should_ have left it there, but I continued.

"Like, just because you lose one thing, even if it's awful, you shouldn't neglect the fact that there are people who love you more than you could ever imagine, and then abandon them-I mean, most people will just abandon things they don't care about right?" This was about when I realized I was ranting. "But...I mean, I hate that. Hobbies...I don't really...have one...I don't think. Dream...?" I actually paused and thought about this, realizing that everything else had either been lame, stupid, or word vomit, I wanted to word this right. "I don't ever want anyone I love to feel alone." I started, "I want them to know that I'll always be there. I realized lately that...people aren't forever. They leave. And they die. And I don't want them to leave or die...alone. I'll always be there."

It was quiet, if only for a polite moment just in case I wasn't finished, but it felt like forever. "That's it." I finished, clasping my hands together and burying them in my lap. I spared a glance at each person. Kakashi-Sensei was silent, thoughtful, as per usual. Naruto was staring at me like I had just offered him a lifetime supply of Ramen, and Sasuke sat there uninterested. staring off into the distance, only a slight furrowing of the brow to show that he had listened at all to what I had said.

The other introductions were as I remembered. Naruto prattled on about Ramen and becoming Hokage, and Sasuke helped create the most terrifyingly memorable introduction about avenging his clan, which was only really frightening because I knew how serious he was. I knew what he'd do.

Then came the threat about eating breakfast, which I made a point in my mind to completely ignore, and Kakashi-Sensei was gone. Along with my stability.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto practically sang, "Do you want to go get Ramen?"

I thought for a moment, only because I'd rather go training to see where exactly my skills were at this point, but Ramen sounded great. I turned and looked at Sasuke walking away. "Sasuke!" I called, and he stilled his movement but didn't turn. "Do you want to get Ramen with Naruto and me?"

He did turn this time, but he wore a venomous glare on his face. I stiffened, awaiting an awful response, but all he gave me was a cold, "No."

I couldn't help but get frustrated. I was trying to save his ass from the dark forces, and he was being a bastard about it, so what came out of my mouth next was completely out of my control. "Sasuke," I groaned, and he turned more to fix his glare completely on me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "Come on, we're a team now, whether you like it or not. And I know you're like, the lone wolf or something, but we're a_ team_ now, and generally Sensei's want teams to work _as a team_, rather than team-of-two, and Mr. I-work-alone."

His glare only got worse, and I felt my anger get the better of me. "You know what? Don't worry about it. I don't think you could really handle teamwork anyway. All that would happen tonight is Naruto-kun would beat you in an eating contest, and you'd be in a sour mood all day tomorrow about it."

I was hoping that would work to get him to come with us, but rather than accepting the challenge, his lip curled into a sneer and he turned to walk away. My shoulders dropped, and even if the only thing I wanted to do right now was go beat the hell out of some trees, I grabbed Naruto's arm and forced him to the Ramen parlor.

I was going to have fun, and Sasuke was going to regret not coming with us.

* * *

The next morning I wasn't in a sour mood so much. I actually just felt guilty. Ramen with Naruto had been fun, a lot of fun, even if he seemed to think it was some sort of date and then he had no money and I had to pay for him, it was still a blast. Then, training was frustrating, because I didn't have anywhere near the chakra control I had before (after? fuck these tenses) and no where near the strength I had built up, I at least had my knowledge. It just frustrated me how much time I'd have to spend getting it back.

But Sasuke was on my mind all night. And after taking all of my frustrations out on a tree, I had two epiphanies.

Epiphany number one: I was afraid of Sasuke. Well, that much was obvious, but I wasn't afraid of him, I was afraid of my inability to help him. Because every time I looked at him, I saw that day he nearly killed Naruto. I saw that day he left me on that bench. I saw his eyes, cold, ruthless, cruel, and I felt helpless to stop it. But, I wasn't going to stop it by belittling his struggles and attacking him for not wanting to go to Ramen with Naruto and me.

That leads me to Epiphany number two: I shouldn't have blown up at him. Even if it felt kind of good to give him a piece of my mind. Even if it felt kind of good to get a reaction out of him, some emotional reaction, even if it was anger. It wasn't...right. If I wanted to help him, to _save_ him, that wasn't the way to do it.

So, that morning I awoke before dusk. I got dressed, ate a meal bar, and arrived at the bridge first. I went through at least twenty different ways to go about approaching Sasuke. Pretend it never happened, but that was a no. Maybe just apologize but explain my reasoning, but I realized that was useless, because I'd just end up blowing up again. But when he arrived, Nothing came out of my mouth but a simple, "I'm sorry."

He only replied with a blank stare. I think that's what got me going.

"Look, I'm sorry for getting angry at you. If you don't want to eat Ramen with your team, that's your deal, I shouldn't have likened it to your abilities to act as a teammate. If anything, I trust you more as a teammate than anyone else, because I know how capable you are at handling yourself in tough situations." When I realized that I really shouldn't know how he handles himself in tough situations yet, I tried to search for a reason why I would, "I mean, because of your..." I stopped abruptly, nearly smacking myself in the face. _Don't mention his family! _He stared at me, so I settled with just saying, "I just trust you." He stared longer. "And I'm sorry."

After a moment, he made some sort of grunt of approval and walked over to sit against the tree. I stood where I was and stared at the place he had stood a moment ago. Did that happen? Did I pour out my apology and he just grunted? I was about to let him have it, really I was, but when I turned to yell at him, something welled up my throat. He sat there, looking so peaceful, just staring into space. A look that I hadn't seen in years, not the cold, calculating gaze of a killer, not the tortured, angry glare of an avenger. Just the peaceful, tranquil look of a twelve year old boy. Human.

So I sat down at the tree to his left and followed his lead, losing myself in thought as we waited in silence.

* * *

I hated this test. I really did, because I had gone through it before and I knew what the point was, but there were two problems with my knowing. One, I wasn't supposed to know. Two, even if I could just say I figured it out, Naruto might work with me, but Sasuke definitely wouldn't. And honestly, I didn't want to lead us to teamwork at this point. I'd rather just sit in this tree and watch as Kakashi read his damn book and wait for something to happen.

"Are you going to try anything, Sakura?"

I don't know why I expected him to be silent. I couldn't quite get the hang of masking my chakra quite yet, so he knew I was there the entire time. I guess I just hoped he would ignore me.

"You're not going to come out and try to take me on?"

I did jump out of the tree so he could see me, but I didn't make a move to attack. It would be stupid. I'd be on the ground in no time. Meeting his eyes, I shrugged, "I was kind of hoping I could just watch."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. He simply stared, as if expecting me to do something regardless. When I didn't, he pulled his book back up to his face, "You're not interested in being a Genin then?"

I blanched a bit at that. "Of course I am." I defended. "But what are we supposed to do? We're barely genin, and we're supposed to beat you for a bell? The only hope we'd have is if we banned together, but you only have two bells, so one of us would need to be left behind anyway. What's the point if we're going to break up, anyway?" It was bullshit, most of it, but I figured it covered my knowledge of the situation enough. I saw now, after my little rant, he had lifted his eyes from that blasted book and met my gaze once again.

"Maybe that's the point." He replied, his answer as vague as they always were. I raised an eyebrow. At least I actually knew what he meant this time around.

Not that he could know that. "You only feel like having two students then?" I think I may have seen his jaw twitch, but if it did, I didn't know if it was out of annoyance or amusement. I grinned, crossing my arms and turning to walk in the other direction.

"You're not even going to try, Sakura?"

I sighed and turned slightly to face him. "You're playing games with us Kakashi." I said, smiling, "I'm not really in the gaming mood today."

"But you_ know_," He said before I could turn again, "Why don't you act on it?"

I knew he was talking about the teamwork. And honestly, I don't know why I didn't act on it. Naruto would work with me, but Sasuke wouldn't. And if I was going to get us to work together, it couldn't only be two of us. Because then that would make it seem like we were working against the third member, and I'd hate for Sasuke to think we were against him.

I also don't think I could take him turning me down. Again.

"If I ask Naruto he would do it, but Sasuke probably wouldn't. And even if he did, which he might if I annoyed him enough, there's only two bells. I'd let them have it, but Naruto would get upset, and then Sasuke..." I wondered what Sasuke did if we had to decide on two people. He'd take his bell and let us fight it out for ours, probably. "I just don't want to play through that. Not when we're supposed to be a team." Kakashi didn't say anything, and when I looked up he was reading his book again. Slightly annoyed, I turned on my heel and made my way out of the clearing.

I just wanted to get to the part where we share lunches and pass already.

* * *

I don't know how long I was walking around waiting to see that disturbing memory of Sasuke that pathway. I knew it would be a genjutsu, and honestly I had been working out in my mind over and over again to figure out how to react. Obviously I couldn't just...know. But I couldn't not care. But I didn't want to faint again. That was embarrassing. But before I knew it, I was running into Sasuke, not bleeding on the ground, but with only his head.

Oh yeah, I fainted here too.

I briefly wondered how I should react, but when his eyes met mine, some strange cross between surprise, annoyance, anger, and relief flooded his face and whatever plan I would have made was thwarted when I started laughing.

His glare was piercing, but I couldn't stop myself from giggling as I neared him. I sat down beside his head and got down at eye level, "Stuck?"

I swear he growled.

"Okay, okay," I conceded, digging my fingers into the soil around his neck, "I'll help you. But what do I get out of it?" I threw him a cheeky grin. He didn't answer.

I dug through until we got his right arm out, and then he began helping me get past his left shoulder. I was actually pretty focused on digging through to his forearm I didn't notice he had stopped digging. So, needless to say, when his hand enclosed around my wrist I nearly jumped a foot in the air.

"Use your other hand." He demanded, and I stared down at where his hand made contact with my wrist. Flicking my eyes up to my fingers I could see they were bleeding again, and I figured I had done a shotty job of healing them earlier. But my attention was pulled back to the fact that he was still holding my wrist. His hand was so _warm_, not cold like I thought it would be, but it was practically burning on my skin.

"Oh..." Was all I could say, unwilling to pull my hand from his grasp, "Okay...yeah." He let go, and for a split second I didn't move, before finally pulling myself together, ignoring that_ ridiculous_ tightening in my abdomen and continuing to dig with my other hand. Once we got both his arms free he was able to force his legs out of the dirt and pull himself up out of the hole. I managed a smile.

"There," I said, dusting off his sleeve, "Dirty, but at least you're more than a head now." Grinning up at him, he stared at me only for a moment before turning away and standing up. He began walking away, and though the question of working as a team burned on my tongue, I never opened my mouth. I watched him walk away in silence, willing for him to turn around and say something, anything, but he didn't. Not once.

But that tightening in my abdomen, that stayed long after he was out of sight.

* * *

This was the part I was waiting for. After Kakashi had torn us all down, talking about our lack of teamwork, pinning Sasuke to the ground. Then there was the painful moment with the KIA monument. And afterwords, the time we thought we all failed, Naruto was tied to a pole, denied his lunch, and Sasuke and I sat on either side. I was waiting for the moment Naruto's stomach growled, so I could offer him food. Then we'd be done with this stupid thing. The second I heard it I sprung to my feet, readying my food to give to him.

"Naruto..." I was about to tell him I'd give him my food, when suddenly Sasuke thrust his box in between the two of us. I blinked at it for a moment. "It's okay, Sasuke, He can have-"

"No."

I reared back slightly, my brow furrowing. No?

"Keep your lunch. Give him mine."

I raised a brow. "You didn't eat much."

He glanced pointedly at my own lunch, "Neither did you."

Frowning slightly, I took Sasuke's lunch from his hands and looked back at Naruto. "Naruto." I began, "This is the one and only time I will ever do this, do you understand?" He looked at me confused for a moment, but realization dawned on his face when he saw me fish out some rice with the chop sticks. Then he lit up like a christmas tree.

"Don't look so smug," I grumbled, while feeding him Sasuke's lunch.

That was when Kakashi chose to enter. In his looming, threatening glory, he began as if we were in trouble. It was tough to look afraid, I really just felt excited. I heard Naruto defend me against breaking the rules, Sasuke threw in his argument, and I said a stiff "We're a team."

Then those two words sounded, "You pass." And I concealed a grin.

It was silent for a moment, and now I couldn't hold back a smile.

"What?" Naruto bellowed, "How does that work?"

And the rest was just as I remembered it. The skies cleared from Kakashi's jutsu, We got some sort of appraisal from Kakashi-Sensei, and then it was done. It felt strangely anti-climactic for all the time I'd been expecting it. But with Kakashi's final words of "Let's go home" A felt an overwhelming feeling of warmth rush through me. It might have something to do with Naruto's joyous exclamations. Maybe it had to do with the fact that we were all a team again, without the turmoil of losing Sasuke. But I think it had more to do with the smirk that spread across Sasuke's lips when Kakashi said those words that really affected me. And so I left with my new team, keeping the thought of that smirk in my mind as I made my way home.

I think I may have left Naruto tied to the pole when I left, too. I was a bit distracted.


	4. Journey Forward

**Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get an update out today...and it's a long one, too...Special thank you to my reviewers Arashi-taichou, Lover for Anime, Aimii0, Pilar Ann, Miss Dany, Pocky Paint, jasmine, and Bloody girl. You are all so very wonderful!**

**Oh, and to Arachi-taichou, YES oh my you are completely correct so I went back and changed it. Thank you kindly, dearie.**

**On a last note, I was hoping That I could make the journey to the land of waves two chapters, but it looks like it's going to be closer to three...I write a whole lot more than I thought I did.**

Surprisingly, as the next day went on, I found I had really missed D-rank missions. They weren't the exciting, important missions that I used to go on, but they were safe. And funny. Especially with Naruto, who was an idiot in every category. I considered helping him when we caught that cat, but settled for simply watching. So, when it came time to receive our new mission, and Naruto went and threw that tantrum, I nearly forgot about the mission with Tazuna.

God, I was just getting used to the easy living of a Genin life, and now we were going to the land of waves with that cheap bastard and putting all our lives in danger. It was an annoyance, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle. Last time we got through it all right. I tried to walk my way through the mission, Zabuza showing up, Haku taking him, Kakashi was hurt. Then we ran into them again, and Naruto and Sasuke-

Oh God.

Sasuke nearly _died_ on this mission.

Abruptly, I turned my back on the group. I felt like I was going to be sick thinking of Sasuke's body just...lying there. I didn't know if I could go through that again.

I felt a hand on my forearm and turned to see Kakashi's questioning gaze on me. "I'm fine." I choked, but his eye didn't leave me, "Really," I said, getting my voice under control, "I just felt sick all of a sudden, I think it's just something I ate, I'll be fine."

Naruto turned around at this point, blatantly ignoring the Hokage's speech, and stared at me for a second, "Sakura-Chan, are you-?"

"Fine" I answered quickly, flashing a brief smile, "I'm fine, just...something I ate, I think." Naruto seemed to take that without question, and then began rattling on about Ramen or something. I might have listened if I hadn't turned to see Sasuke's intense stare on me and effectively stopped thinking for the next two minutes or so.

"Silence!" I jumped at the Hokage's command and attempted to force myself back into the conversation, but it was hard to stay interested when I already knew everything that was happening. I didn't really begin paying attention until I heard a door slide open to reveal the drunkard to us. I sighed in annoyance.

I was going to miss D-rank missions.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual. It was still pitch dark outside, but as much as I tossed and turned I couldn't fall back asleep. I used the time I couldn't spend sleeping packing my things and mentally blocking the image of Sasuke's nearly dead body, taking deep calming breaths, and trying to remember how to meditate. I hadn't meditated in years, and obviously it wasn't something you could just throw yourself back into.

By sunrise, I was making my way towards the gate. I was early, but I figured it would give me time to pull myself together. But, when I arrived at the gate, Sasuke was already there.

So much for a calm morning.

"Sasuke," I called when he didn't acknowledge my arrival, "You're early."

He was sitting on a bench near the gate, the early light of sunrise falling on his form and making him look so much more beautiful than normal, I had to mentally slap myself for blushing. And also mentally berate myself on the fact that I'm mentally eighteen and I was helplessly in love with a twelve year old.

I noticed then that his dark eyes were focused in on mine, and I figured he had said something, but I didn't know what. Trying to find a way to continue the conversation without having to sound like an idiot ("Oh, what? I wasn't listening over the sounds of my inner turmoil, say it again, please") I smiled weakly and said, "I couldn't sleep."

He nodded and turned his head back to stare in front of him. Without asking, mostly because I was afraid he'd say no, I took the seat next to him. "Are you nervous?"

He scoffed, "No." He said confidently, and I know he saw my frown, but I didn't turn to look at him. "It's a C-rank mission, Sakura."

Is it bad that when he says my name in casual conversation I feel like melting into a puddle at his feet?

Probably, considering we're_ twelve_.

"I know." I replied, still refusing to look at him, "But...it is our first C-rank, and I..." I what? I know that it's going to turn out worse, and then Zabuza is going to show up and threaten each of our lives, especially yours and Naruto's lives, who are nearly taken in battle, namely yours, I even saw you lying _dead on the ground in front of me_? "I just...I have a bad feeling..."

He didn't say anything. I hoped he would say something, even if it were a snort and a derisive "You worry too much" But he didn't say anything.

"I'm being dramatic, aren't I?" I asked, hoping to prompt a response. I waited for a moment, before turning my head to face him. His eyes were narrowed, staring at something I obviously couldn't see. He was resting his chin on one clenched fist, and his other fist was clenched, lying across his lap. I was about to ask if my sitting here made him uncomfortable, but he spoke before I could.

"You'll be safe." I nearly replied with some cheeky remark, something about Naruto's inability to be safe, ever. But then I realized he hadn't said _we_. He had said _you_. And then my stomach tightened painfully and I had to look away.

We sat in silence until Naruto arrived, bringing his unbelievably loud voice with him. For once, I was grateful for it. I couldn't take another moment of sitting there after he said something like that, I'm pretty sure I would have jumped him.

* * *

I officially hated Tazuna. Apparently, now that I wasn't denying Naruto any physical or verbal contact with me without a punch to the head, it only encouraged his tries at getting my attention. Which _would_ be cute, if it weren't for Tazuna's damn comments about young love and how it always ended in misery or some shit like that.

"Tazuna-san," I said, grinding my teeth to keep my voice even, "We're not-"

"Maybe you're not, but he is." He cut me off, taking a swig of his drink, then stumbling so I was forced to actually touch him and keep him steady.

"No," I started to deny it on Naruto's behalf, since he hadn't said anything, but Tazuna cut me off, yet again.

"Do yourself a favor kid," He slurred to Naruto, "Give up on women."

I may or may not have..._accidentally_ tripped him after that.

Sometime soon after that exchange was when it happened. Those rogue ninja, I had actually forgotten about them. They tore Kakashi to pieces, which although I knew it was fake, it was still awful to see. I held a kunai out in front of me and prepared to fight, but I stopped short. Last time everything had been fine. What if, now that I was different, I would upset the balance and something would change.

What if Sasuke actually died?

With that thought, I planted my heels in front of Tazuna and readied my kunai. This was probably a better idea anyway. And when the rogue started toward me, I began to go through the attack in my head. I didn't have to muscle build up I had when I was eighteen, but I still knew the technique, so I'd probably be able to take him down, if not sloppily. He'd swipe toward my neck, I'd move to my left and grab his wrist. Pulling myself up, I'd flip to sit on his shoulders, wrap my legs around his neck from behind. Throw myself back, if I do it quick enough, he should be caught off guard and be thrown back. It won't hurt him, but it'll buy Sasuke and Naruto time.

But, just as I readied my stance, Sasuke's form flickered in front of me.

What...What the _Hell_?

I couldn't say anything. What was I supposed to do, "No, Sasuke, I got this, you can kindly take your leave now?" But before the rogue could attack, Kakashi caught him around the neck. I sighed, half in annoyance, half in relief. Kakashi faced Sasuke and I, gave us his appraisal, but I wasn't really listening.

"Hey," Sasuke. I was half expecting him to be talking to me, and I was prepared to give him a mouthful about how I didn't need to be protected by him, but he was facing Naruto. "You're not hurt are you...?" He asked, then smirked, "Scaredy-cat."

"Sasuke." I scolded, forgetting myself for a moment. His head snapped to mine, some sort of half glare on his face. I redirected my approach, decided to leave the being-an-ass-to-Naruto issue alone for now, and instead I stepped closer and said "You...don't have to protect me you know."

He didn't say anything, and I wondered if he knew what I was talking about, "I just mean when they were going to attack me-"

"I know," He cut in, "what you're talking about." His eyes didn't leave mine, or change emotion, so I frowned slightly.

"Is there an apology anywhere in that sentence?"

Now there was confusion, though it was masked rather quickly. He stared at me evenly, and for a minute I thought he was angry with me. I could imagine why. He was playing the hero, cutting in and saving me from danger, but I remember all the years he thought I was so weak, and I wasn't anymore. Physically, yeah, I was, but mentally I had six more years worth of training. I didn't need him protecting me everywhere we go, because all that will do is distract him if he has to constantly worry about me. I planned to tell him all of this, too, but he beat me, "I promised you."

I reeled, promised me? What had he promised me? I hadn't even really had an actual conversation with him, save for this morning, and even then-

Of course, this morning, I revealed weakness, so of course he'd think I'm incapable. But his promise, I hadn't really considered "You'll be safe" a promise. A reassurance, maybe, but not a promise. Nonetheless, I understood where he was coming from now.

"Sasuke," I reproached, "You don't have to take that up as a personal responsibility, if I get hurt by my own fault-"

"No," He reprimanded, "You won't get hurt."

I stared back at him, "Sasuke, you can't promise that." He didn't say anything then, but now he was glaring at me. I sighed tiredly, taking a step back from him. "Careful," I warned, "you're acting a bit like a teammate."

He continued to glare at me, and I turned away towards Naruto. Kakashi had already chained the rogues up, and I turned to see Naruto standing to the side, cradling his hand. "We need to get Naruto's hand checked out." I said, "We're not qualified for this mission anyway, we can go back to the village and get him treated and Tazuna can get people more qualified to protect him."

Naruto tensed, and looked at me as if I'd betrayed him. I opened my mouth to defend my reasoning, but it snapped shut when Naruto drove the kunai into his hand. I clenched my jaw to stop myself from scolding him.

"Why am I so...different?" He asked "I train so hard to get where I am, training by myself for...for _hours_." He had turned from us by now, and I wondered if he was speaking to himself or to us. "I won't...be beaten by Sasuke." He vowed, and my lips twitched with a smile. "Bridge Builder, I swear...I will protect you. With this Kunai, I promise to keep you safe."

There was a beat of silence, before Kakashi spoke up, "Okay, that was really cool how you took the poison out and everything, but...if you lose any more blood, you're going to die."

That was approximately when Naruto began to flail.

* * *

On the boat ride towards the Land of Waves Tazuna filled us in about Gato. And as we resumed out journey on foot, I had to slap Naruto at least three times for throwing knives at helpless animals.

"Well, maybe they should be more careful who they travel near!" Naruto defended himself, and I punched him in the back, considering I was walking behind him, it was the easiest place to reach.

"If you have anything to say about it, there won't be any animals left!"

I don't know exactly how it happened. One minute I was rekindling my violent relationship with Naruto, and the next we're all standing stock-stiff staring at the man on his _giant fucking sword_ and expecting our near demise. I was nearly hyperventilating at the thought of everything, and if Sasuke and Naruto think I didn't notice them taking protective steps toward me, they were wrong.

It was almost creepy, the way Zabuza said nothing as Kakashi told us to protect the bridge builder and to stay out of the fight. Then, in a series of events that went to quickly to recall correctly, we ended up standing in a thick mist that blocked our vision. Sasuke, Naruto, and I stood in front of Tazuna, protecting him. I got a small thrill out of this, but the fact that I was far from ready for this struck a chord of fear in me.

It went by like a dream, Kakashi and Zabuza's fight. It was strange seeing Kakashi get caught in that water prison. Even when I was older, and I was technically his equal, I never stopped seeing him as something much, much stronger than I was. So, regardless of the familiarity of this situation, I felt a rush of dread at seeing Kakashi so helpless, so that it was all left up to us.

But, even Kakashi giving us permission to run didn't make me want to. "You said those who disobey rules are scum." I said quietly, but in the silence of the moment, it was heard. "But those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum." I looked up at him, and his expression was some tortured form of surprise, and I didn't say anything else.

In the next moment three things happened; Sasuke charged and got thrown away like nothing, Naruto charged and got thrown away, and I near lost my mind scolding him for his stupidity, before we realized he only went for his headband.

And then we had a plan.

* * *

"While they're out there doing their thing, I want you to stay right here behind me and I'll protect you, alright?" I said under my breath. I stepped closer to him, but didn't move into any sort of battle stance. I didn't recall any sort of trouble from here on out, so I forced myself not to worry.

But, as the boys executed their plan flawlessly, something did happen. Something different. As they went for the original, the clone was left alone, and though last time I assume Zabuza was too engrossed in his fight with Sasuke and Naruto that his clone was forgotten. Not this time.

Once the attention was on the original, his clone fixed his eyes on me. I froze, not quite remembering the uncomfortable eye contact, and moved my hand to pull out a kunai.

But he was on me before I could.

I quickly worked out a strategy in my mind as he rushed toward me, and heard Kakashi call my name. Worried I would be a distraction, I quickly called back "Don't!" And moved my weight to the balls of my feet.

Zabuza's hand went for my throat, clutching it painfully and throwing me behind him, but I caught myself on whatever the hell it was he wore on his neck and threw myself back around in front of him and shoved Tazuna none-too-gently further back. I'm sure if his face wasn't covered he would be smirking. He went to hit me and I narrowly avoided getting hit. Then came his sword. Ducking underneath, and praying to God Tazuna was far back enough that he didn't get hit, I pulled out a kunai to try and kill the clone. But, as soon as I had it in my hand, he had it out of my hand and thrust it toward my face. I narrowly dodged it and I heard a thunk as it landed somewhere behind us. Hopefully not in Tazuna.

Then suddenly, he dissolved into water, and I turned to see Kakashi was out of that water bubble now. I sighed in relief, turning back towards Tazuna to see him sprawled on the ground. I jogged back towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

He nodded, choosing not to say anything, and I smiled. "Sorry I shoved you."

He still said nothing, and as the roar of two simultaneous jutsu went on somewhere in the background, I heard Sasuke crouch beside me. I looked at him, but he didn't meet my eyes, he watched Kakashi and Zabuza in their fight, and I followed suit. When I saw the beginnings of Kakashi's jutsu, I quickly stood and pulled Tazuna to his feet, holding onto his arm as the wind and water ripped through the area. When it ended, I patted his arm questioningly, silently asking if he was alright, and he nodded.

I looked up at Sasuke, hoping to meet his eye, but even though he was staring at me, he evidently found something much more interesting on my cheek. And then my neck. I looked away when I saw his eyes harden, and resolved to ask him what the Hell his problem was later.

When Haku came, I felt like crying with relief. And despair. It meant we could rest for a day or two, but it also meant that Haku was still here. Sasuke would still die. Or, well, almost die. And it sucked either way.

"Sakura." Kakashi said, and I turned to face him, "You surprised me." I knew he was talking about the confrontation with the water clone, and I winced.

"I couldn't even touch him." I said, looking over to the area it had happened.

"But you dodged." His input made me laugh, and I met his questioning gaze.

"He did throttle me. I think that counts enough to say he hit me once."

"Twice" Sasuke's monotone cut through me enough to make me choke on whatever I was going to say next. But if that wasn't enough, I felt his hand grip my jaw and turn me to look at him. His thumb brushed over my cheek, and I'm sure my face resembled a cherry pretty closely at the moment. He pulled his hand away to reveal blood on his thumb, and I raised my hand to where his was to see. Sure enough I could feel a cut on my cheek.

His eyes were fixed on my neck now, and I figured it was bruising. I always did bruise easily. But looking at his expression, some sort of resigned anger, I remembered his promise.

"It doesn't count." I said, and his eyes flicked back up to meet mine.

The moment ended when Kakashi collapsed in a heap on the ground.


	5. Caution

**Dear, goodness gracious, this is really long...asdfkjdshf okay. So...Thanks reviewers! Nanako, Pilar Ann, Lalalala, Bloodygirl, and PockyPaint!**

**And...I tried to incorporate stuff form the show, to make it...similar..like quotes and stuff...but that just made for a lot of word vomit...Eh, it's whatever. Enjoy!**

When I woke the next day, I decided to go to the forest to train. We had gotten to Tazuna's house and I promptly found my way to my room for the duration of my stay and passed out. So now, with the early morning (later than usual, but I figured the reason for that was exhaustion) I made my way to a clearing in the nearby forest and prepared myself for strength building.

Then I heard a laugh. I turned only slightly, expecting it to be a traveling civilian or something and not wanting them to be in my line of fire, but when I saw who it was I flew around to face her and stepped back frantically until I was pressed against the tree. She wasn't smiling, only staring me down from behind her tangled black hair.

"Nice to see you." She gave a closed-lipped smirk and my breath caught in my throat. The witch, I'd never learned her name, but I would never forget her face. Not after she put me here.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice croaking out as if I had just been choked, which I guess it felt like I had. But before she could answer, I changed my question, "No, Why am I here?"

She gave me that closed-lipped smile again and tilted her head to the side, exposing the side of her stark white neck. "Oh, come now," She said, tauntingly, "I didn't make it obvious?"

I nearly growled, "Don't play games with me"

"Oh but games are so much fun," She said, leaning in as if she were telling me a secret. But she was too far from me to whisper, and I thanked whatever God there was for her distance. "I don't get to play games anymore. Not often, anyway."

"Tell me what you want from me." I demanded angrily, but I didn't dare take a step toward her. She frightened me too much.

She was silent for a minute, thoughtful, then before I could process anything, she had me by the collar of my dress and in front of her, away from the tree I had been pressed against before. I could feel her knuckles brush against the front of my throat, ice cold, as if she weren't even alive. She didn't smile anymore, just brought her face level with mine and spoke in a hiss.

"A man," She said, her eyes turning as cold as her skin, "He took something from me. And I want him dead." She let go of me now, and I barely managed to catch myself from falling over.

"What, and you just chose me to kill him?" I questioned, but she didn't answer. "This is because of the scroll, isn't it. My team took your scroll, so the man you work for-"

"That man was nothing but a_ fool_," She snarled back at me. "A man who built himself up to be helpful to me, but only turned out as useless as _everyone else_." Her eyes zeroed in on my own terrified ones, and she began speaking again. "But you..." She spoke, quietly, any trace of viscous anger gone, "You have heart."

"So you told me." I said, ashamed at how my voice shook. She gave me that closed smile again.

"That man who you still love even after all he's done to you. It _would_ be pathetic, but..." She didn't finish, probably because I began speaking over her as soon as I knew who she was talking about.

"If you think I'm going to kill Sasuke, you're demented. I will never-"

"He is of no consequence." She says, "At least, when what I want is completed, he won't be."

I frowned, "You aren't going to execute your revenge through me." This time my voice didn't waver, and I was proud at how strong I sounded. The pride was squashed when she smirked again, though.

"Oh, I think you will." She began taking long, graceful strides to circle around me. I clenched my fists and squared my shoulders, willing myself not to move. "You will do exactly as I wish. Because if you don't, I will _destroy you_." She had circled back to my front and leaned in to hiss the last part in my face. I didn't move. I couldn't even look at her and instead focused on something behind her.

"I will _tear you apart_, from the inside out. Everything you _care about_, everything you _stand for_, will be _ripped out_ from under you. And when you lose all hope,_ I'll be there_, and by the time I'm done with you, you will _cease_ to_ exist_. You think you know _hardships_. You think you know _pain_. I will make you _long_ for something as sweet as-"

"What do you _want_?" I exploded. Tears sprung to my eyes but I didn't let them fall. I focused back on her face, and immediately wished I hadn't. She was grinning now, not the tight-lipped smirks from before, but a full out grin like she had right before she sent me back here.

"I want someone to _die._"

Then everything went white. Flashes of shinobi soldiers, blood, death, all over. I saw a dark room. And pain, Oh God, the pain was more than I could take. I tried to scream, but I couldn't hear myself. Instead I heard another scream, an unfamiliar scream, and more pain. The sound of flipping pages in a book, but all I could see was white. Fire. Fire everywhere. And blood. And pain. Pain. Pain.

I could finally hear myself screaming, but the pain remained. I gripped something above my head, just to know there was other senses above the agony. It was soft, like a bed or a pillow or a-

Was someone calling my name? The pain was subsiding, but I could still picture the blood. I think I recalled a face, but the flashes I could recall were more terrifying than the blood so I tried to focus on the latter instead.

My name. That was definitely my name. And hands, hands that caused images of the dark room to pop into my head, and more pain. I thrashed out of their grip and rolled off of some platform, falling backwards and crashing into something solid.

I opened my eyes to the distraught eyes of Naruto hovering over my bed, and the door slamming open to reveal Sasuke. I couldn't get myself to breathe properly, the air in the room wasn't enough. What time was it? A glance to the window told my it was wither late night or early morning. Did I pass out for a day?

"Sakura, it's...it's okay, you were dreaming..." It was Naruto's voice, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I stared out the window, forcing air into my lungs in great gasps. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough.

"She's having a panic attack." That was Sasuke. I'm sure it was. But when I tried to move my eyes to looka t him, they focused on the floor instead. Not enough air. Not enough air.

"What? What the hell are we supposed to do? She's not breathing!" I knew it was Naruto, and his unintentionally comical way of dealing with situations out of his control would make me laugh in any other situation. But right now I was a little too focused on the burning in my lungs.

Hands. Warm, _warm_ hands on me. One on my forearm, reproachfully, carefully, and another on my back, moving in soothing circles. "Breathe." I tried to decipher who was speaking, but I needed to put all my focus into breathing regularly.

When I realized it was Sasuke helping me, I had problems breathing again.

"Okay," I wheezed, "I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm sorry. I'm fine, I just..." And then the tears were threatening to come and I couldn't let them. I didn't want my boys to know the trouble I was in. I took a deep breath, and missed the warmth of Sasuke's hands when they left my arm and back. "Nightmare."

It was silent, which was odd, because I knew Naruto was still in the room. I looked up to lock eyes with him, and he was staring at me, a look of such raw concern on my face I almost started crying.

"Sakura-Chan..." He spoke quietly, carefully, as if he were afraid I'd break if he spoke any louder.

"I just..." I took a shaky breath, "Had an awful nightmare. I'm fine now. It wasn't real." But it was. And I knew it was. Questions ran through my mind, one after the other. How long did I have to do what she wanted? And how was I supposed to do it if I didn't know who the hell she wanted dead? And what did Sasuke have to do with it?

"Sakura." I jumped, actually sobbing at the shock of another person interrupting my thoughts, and I covered my mouth quickly, snapping my head around to look at Sasuke. I noticed Naruto had already left, but Sasuke hadn't moved from his spot beside me.

"I'm fine." I told him, but it wasn't convincing. He narrowed his eyes at me, obviously not believing the lie. "Really, I..." I trailed off at the glare he started giving me. "I'm not fine." I admitted, slumping my shoulders. He sat there, frozen for a moment, like he didn't expect me to actually admit to it and now he didn't know what to do, but I spoke before he had to do anything. "But I will be. I just need to...calm down. It just seemed really real, and-"

"What did?" I blinked at him. _The dream_? My mind screamed, but I realized that wasn't his question. He was asking what it was about, in as little words as possible.

"I..." I struggled to find words. I didn't want to lie, but what else was I supposed to do? "Well, you..." Okay Sakura, half truths, go for half truths, "You died." He froze again, just when he had relaxed a bit, "I mean, everyone. You, Naruto, Kakashi, and I was alone, and..." He frowned when I stopped speaking, and I quickly tried to come up with a lie to get him to leave. He didn't seem like he was going anywhere. "I think just...the whole Zabuza thing...got me uptight." I was awful at lying to him. I couldn't meet his eye and my voice changed at least three different times in one sentence, but if he noticed (which I'm sure he did) he pretended not to.

"He was there?"

I sighed. Half truths. "More or less," I mean, evil was there, close enough, right? "But he was a woman." He actually made a face at that, some sort of mix between a sneer and scoff, and it actually made me laugh, if only a little. "Don't ask."

It went silent for a moment, and he didn't make a move to leave. I figured he felt obligated to stay considering I had a major freak out moment, so I tried to save him the misery, "We should both get some sleep. I promise I won't wake you two up with my screaming again." I tried at a smile, but it probably came off as more of a grimace.

He stared at me a moment longer, a look I had come to label as the I-think-I-want-to-say-something-but-I-don't-do-long-sentences-so-I-won't-bother look, then stood slowly, and walking out of the room without a backwards glance. I stayed in the same spot on the floor until the sun came streaming into my windows.

I tried to decipher the images in my mind, but every time I did, I nearly had another panic attack. And I figured Sasuke wouldn't appreciate me barging into his room having another breathing fit.

So I cleared my mind, and I attempted to meditate.

* * *

We were training with Kakashi again, and it felt good to see him standing, even if he was on a crutch. And then hobbling up a tree with those crutches was actually really funny.

"He's walking straight up!" Naruto called, staring wide eyed at Kakashi-Sensei.

"More like Hobbling right up," I said quietly._ Don't laugh, it's not funny, you should be amazed._

I was actually really excited to do this. I needed to get my chakra control back to where it was, and I figured tree climbing was a good start. Besides, I was so used to doing things with ease that, now that I actually had to try, I had a bit of trouble with things. But when it began, I ran towards the tree, and went flying up the trunk. I grinned when I landed on one of the higher branches, and looked down at my boys. Naruto was writhing in pain on the forest floor and Sasuke was glaring at him. I laughed and sat down, prepared to wait until they noticed my absence.

It took at least fifteen more tries for them to notice I was gone. I was prepared to just shout out how they obviously have better things to do than notice their teammate is missing, before Naruto finally spoke up.

"Sakura-Chan, are you-" He stopped, and my grin resurfaced, "Where's Sakura-Chan?"

I reveled for a couple seconds in their attempts to find me. Naruto looked in a bush, Sasuke just turned his head back and forth. "Up here!" I called, still grinning. "How's the weather down there?"

"What?" Naruto screeched, "How did you do that?"

"Looks like the girl in the group had the best chakra control." Kakashi commented, "Well done, Sakura."

"Yeah!" Naruto screeched, fist pumping the air, "Way to go, Sakura-Chan, I always knew you were awesome!"

I laughed, but chose to say nothing. Sasuke turned his head away and sulked. I tried to ignore him, really I did, but ended up watching him as he charged back at the again with a frown on my face.

He always has to be so damn competitive.

So I got down from my tree and leaned against it, watching the two go at it for nearly an hour. Finally, Naruto came up to ask me for advice. I had nearly forgotten he did that, but now I remembered. I had expected him to throw a tantrum and he asked for help instead.

When he crouched down beside me I beamed, noticing the pink that overtook his cheeks, and I leaned in so our noses were nearly touching. "Don't tell Sasuke, though, okay?" His face had turned bright red, "If he wants my help, he's gotta ask me." I winked then, and I think he nearly passed out. Worried, I pulled back a little, but he quickly pulled himself together and leaned forward.

"So, what do I have to do?"

* * *

When I was sent to guard Tazuna while the boys did their work, I had nearly forgotten the journey through the town we took. The people on the streets, the store, the robber who I definitely mistook for a pervert last time, but realized my error this time. And the children. I had also forgotten that Tazuna had a pretty refutable character. If not slightly hidden behind his rough exterior, he talked about his bridge as a symbol of courage, a chance for their villagers to get their spirit back.

It was sad, seeing the people as they were. I suppose that's why I didn't remember it. And that poor boy who came up asking me for food, or money, or I don't now, anything I guess. And all I had to give him was candy. I could see why Tazuna was so serious about getting this bridge finished.

"You know Tazuna," I said, after his speech was done, "You're not the annoying old drunk that you make yourself seem like you are."

I think he smiled, but he turned and announced we'd make our way home before I could see for sure.

* * *

When we had all returned to the house we were staying at, Tazuna's daughter I think, the boys immediately immersed themselves in an eating contest. If shoveling food down their throat at the speed of light wasn't gross enough, they proceeded to blow chunks all over the floor.

"Ugh, gross, guys!" I complained, scooting my chair back and holding my food in my lap, "That's disgusting! Don't eat if you're going to puke it all up!"

"I have to eat," Was Sasuke's reply, glaring at Naruto across the table.

"And I have to eat more, to get stronger than him."

"And blowing chunks at the dinner table is going to help you guys get stronger? I will take your food privileges away from you!"

"What?" Naruto exploded, looking at me as Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, put more food in front of them. Naruto gripped his bowl protectively. "You can't do that!"

I rose out of my seat. "You wanna bet?"

Naruto looked around for help as I advanced on him, then his face went green and his cheeks puffed our and I took four giant steps back, "Don't throw up on me!"

Then it went away and he started eating again. I gaped openly at him. "Did you just fake feeling nauseous? You ass! Give me that food!"

"No!"

When I finally managed to commandeer his bowl, I dumped the remains of his food into Kakashi's bowl for him to eat and brought the bowl to the sink. Naruto growled from the table.

"Why didn't you take Sasuke's?" I turned to see Sasuke's bowl empty and sitting in front of him. He was smirking victoriously.

"Because I was too busy dealing with you! Sasuke, if you throw up, so help me God, I will-"

"Tea is ready!" Tsunami's nervous voice broke through my threat, and I never got the chance to finish. "Don't worry about the dishes, Sakura," She said, walking towards the sink where I was standing, "I can get those. Sit down and have some tea." I smiled thankfully at her and did as she said, Naruto was pouting at the table, so as I walked past, I ruffled his hair, just to make him angry.

"Sakura-Chan!" He wined. I grinned. He blushed. Sasuke scoffed, somewhere in the background, but I ignored him, sipping the tea Tsunami had poured.

That was when I pointed out the ripped picture.

Inari fled from the room, Tsunami rushed after him, and we learned of Inari's father. It was awful, what Inari had to go through. To see his father be publicly executed like some kind of criminal, but it gave Naruto the drive to stand up from the table.

...And flop to the ground like a walrus.

"Naruto, you've used too much chakra, I think it's a good idea if you take the night off," Kakashi suggested, but none of us moved from out place to help him up. I guess we hadn't really expected him to get up. But he did.

"I'm going to prove it." He lifted himself up onto shaky legs and grinned, "That heroes are real."

I smiled slightly when he left.

* * *

The next morning during breakfast, Naruto still hadn't come back. I made a joke of it, commenting on how he was probably lying dead somewhere, but I was a bit worried. With Zabuza still out there...I mean, last time nothing bad happened, but last time Zabuza's clone didn't attack me, so who know what else changed?

Sasuke made some insulting comment on Naruto's intelligence and I almost defended him, but I realized he was speaking the truth. Naruto was always kind of an idiot. Sasuke stood from his place at the table, turning to walk away. "I'm going on a walk," He announced.

I stood quickly, "If you're looking for Naruto, I'm coming with you!" I called, grabbing my shoes from beside me and slipping them on my feet as we walked out the door.

"I'm not looking for Naruto," He spoke, eyeing me as I made my way to his side at the door.

"Then we'll split ways eventually," I grinned, taking him by the arm and puling him outside, before he tugged his arm none-too-gently out of my grip. I expected him to leave, if he really wasn't looking for Naruto, but he stayed by my side. I smiled. Right. Not looking for Naruto. Of course.

We walked in silence, which may have been comfortable if it were anyone but Sasuke. Which was actually pretty ironic, considering silence was Sasuke's _thing_. But silence where Sasuke's concerned only means giving my mind room to go crazy. I went through seventy something conversation topics before deciding nothing I could say would be interesting. Then I kept finding myself staring at him in the corner of my eye, which I know he noticed, but pointedly ignored. But he was just so _pretty_-

Or handsome. I don't know, he was pretty in the manliest way possible.

I was so wrapped up in my Sasuke-induced thought process, I didn't even notice we had come across Naruto until Sasuke punched him in the head and spoke "Hey dobe, did you miss breakfast?"

Naruto laughed, and Sasuke scoffed, turning his head away.

"Naruto!" My tone was actually a bit scarier than I intended, but my intention did involve giving him a mouthful. His head snapped towards me, and a nervous smile broke out across his lips.

"Sakura-Chan!" He mimicked, rubbing the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to say something, but I was practically on top of him before he could speak.

"You can die from chakra exertion you know. And you didn't even come back! For all we knew, you could have been dead, and we'd be none-the-wiser!"

"Sakura," Sasuke spoke up from behind me, an obvious command to back off in his voice, "He's alive."

"But we didn't know that this morning!" I objected, realizing that when I had advanced on Naruto to subtly check vital signs as well as I could (which was mediocre at best) I had practically been straddling him.

"Aw, Sasuke, you're just jealous she's not on top of you!" Naruto let out a boisterous laugh then, and I punched him in the face before Sasuke grabbed me by the waist and placed me behind him, turning back to face Naruto. I scowled at the two of them.

"So, dobe, did you manage to climb that tree?" I could hear the smirk in his voice, and Naruto grinned back at the challenge.

I sat down where I was and pouted. This rivalry was so annoying.

* * *

The next day, Naruto had been granted a day off. As we tip-toed around his room as quietly as possible, we got ready for the day and filed out of the house with Tazuna to guard him during the bridge. I remembered this, though. Everything that was happening now was way too familiar. And with the familiarity came terror. But I hid it. It wouldn't do well to put everyone into a state about my mental stability right before we face Zabuza. So, hiding my fright behind an easy smile, I made my way with Kakashi and Sasuke to protect Tazuna on the bridge.

But when we showed up, the workers were all on the ground. Dead, alive, I don't know, all I could really focus on was the thought of Sasuke on the ground. I nearly lost myself with worry when the mist settled.

"Sasuke, Sakura, protect Tazuna!" Kakashi ordered.

"Sorry I kept you waiting, Kakashi," Zabuza's voice rang out, "And you've still got those brats with you. One of them's even trembling," Suddenly we were surrounded, six Zabuza's circled around us, "how pitiful."

"I'm trembling with..." Sasuke began, "...excitement."

"Go Sasuke!" Kakashi ordered, and quicker than I could see Sasuke slashed at each water clone, and they all fell to the ground with a splash.

"So you can see they're water clones," Zabuza commented, standing a few meters in front of us with Haku, "Looks like you have an opponent, Haku." The boy in question nodded once.

"So it seems." Haku went into some whirlwind attack towards Sasuke, and while he stepped forward and readied himself for the attack, I took a step back, closer to Tazuna.

And so it began.


	6. Deja Vu

**Ugghh...action...y u no be easier to write? SIGH, okay, action chapter, no regrets. Thanks to my reviewers; SerahJohnson, Twisted Musalih, Vesper Goodbye, PockyPaint, Ryuzuki Junrei, Anju-Rei, Quirming, BloodyGirl, Xx-Demon-Child-xX, Pilar Ann, and a few anonymous! It means so much to me that you guys all review!**

**...So please don't leave me after this. It's...kind of a catastrophe. Ugh. **

**Also, random fact, I almost referred to Haku as "her" like...50 times. Oopsie.**

Watching Sasuke fight Haku was something like a dream. I remembered this part vividly, because Sasuke fought so well. God, he was always such an amazing fighter, and so _arrogant_, but who wouldn't be when you could fight like that? He blocked Haku's blows like a pro, and even succeeded Haku's speed. And finally, after only about five minutes of battle, definitely no more, Sasue floored Haku with only a distracting kunai and a well placed kick to the face.

"You made a big mistake insulting these ninja and calling them brats," Kakashi spoke, "That's just guaranteed to bring out Sasuke's attitude. And he's the best young fighter of the hidden leaf village. And Sakura here is our sharpest mind." I may have enjoyed the praise if I wasn't too focused on Haku getting back to his feet. Why couldn't he just stay on the ground? "And last but not least," Kakashi continued, "our number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja is Naruto Uzumaki."

It was silent for a beat, just Zabuza and Haku staring us down from their position a few meters ahead of us, but then Zabuza rumbled "If we keep going like this we'll be the ones going down. Get on with it Haku."

"Very well."

Haku began to glow, for lack of a better word. Chakra was flickering over his form like fire, and stretching out to whip around him like snakes. "I'm sorry it has come to this." His apology seemed dull and disingenuous when I knew what was happening. And I couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Secret Jutsu;"

"Sasuke, get out!"

"Crystal Ice Mirrors!"

And then it was too late. Surrounding Sasuke were countless crystal mirrors, a reflection of Haku in each one. Kakashi rushed forward, probably to attempt to get Sasuke out, but he was stopped by Zabuza.

"If you're joining this fight, you're fighting me." Zabuza spoke, blockading Kakashi from reaching Sasuke. You're boy has no chance against that jutsu. He's finished. Just try to help him and I'll kill the other two in a heartbeat."

"Tazuna," My voice was hushed, and he very stiffly turned his head to me, "I won't let you get hurt."

He understood what I meant without me having to say, and he nodded, "Just go."

Smiling thankfully, I gripped a kunai from the pouch on my thigh and rushed to the ice mirrors. Kakashi called out to me when I ran past them, but Zabuza swung his sword around in an attempt to slice through Kakashi in order to bring his attention back. I ducked under the sword when made it's round and threw the kunai toward the mirror. Knowing Haku would catch it, I jumped after the kunai, and when he moved out of the mirror, I drew my fist back. I closed my eyes. I hadn't tried this form of chakra control since before I was sent back. Focusing my chakra into my clenched fist, I snapped open my eyes, and punched Haku in the face.

His head reared around and he dropped the kunai in shock. Although it wasn't anywhere near as destructive as it was when I was eighteen, I was satisfied that his mask now had a crack that ran down the middle, but he recovered quicker than I expected and grabbed my ankle. I gripped the side of one of the mirrors to stop from hanging upside down in his grip. I twisted my body to hit him again, concentrating my chakra into my fist, but before I could, a shiruken whirled through the air. It caught Haku by surprise and he fell out of the mirror, taking my with him. When he hit the ground, I landed on my back and kicked my leg out of his grip, using the momentum to spin myself around and get up on my feet. Instinctively, I looked to Tazuna. He was fine.

In the direction the shiruken had come form, an embarrassingly long smoking spectacle introduced Naruto to the scene. I thought that I might feel comforted with his arrival, but it only terrified me a bit more. And Haku was still within reaching distance of me.

Wait, oh, God, he was.

Leaping back to Tazuna's side, I surveyed the scene. I couldn't risk getting pulled into the mirror jutsu, because I needed to be free to return to Tazuna's side if need be. But if I could just distract Haku enough to keep him from hurting Sasuke too much...It was worth a try. I reached in my pouch to take out another kunai and readied it to throw towards Haku.

Then it was knocked out of my hand.

A terrifyingly close Zabuza stood before me, my kunai knocked somewhere over to my left. "You're annoying." He declared, and I almost laughed at the familiarity of his words. Actually, I may have actually laughed, that would explain his suddenly enraged expression, but I was a bit too focused on dodging his huge-ass sword as it swung in a large arc toward me. Tazuna had jumped back, thank God, and I crouched and threw myself over the sword, landing on my feet in the same spot I'd been in.

"Sakura!" I think it was Kakashi, and I wondered where the Hell he could be this time as Zabuza made another swing at me.

"I warned you Kakashi." Zabuza spoke almost smugly. I'm sure under his mask he as grinning like a fool. I deduced that Kakashi had made a move to help Naruto and Sasuke again, and Zabuza had taken the chance to go for the bridge builder. I don't know where he was now, and I couldn't look, because Zabuza was throwing swing after swing of that sword.

If I could just get it out of his grasp, even if it didn't go far, I could get Tazuna further away and Kakashi could intervene.

As his sword flew towards me again, slicing horizontally in a long arc, I ducked down. Watching it move above me, I gathered my chakra into my fist and struck, just above the hole in the sword, as it swung above my head. I didn't pack enough chakra to fully protect my hand, my knuckles were bleeding, but I hit the sword hard enough for it to change its course from a neat swing to twist in his grip and, though he kept it in his hand, swing over hid head and lodge into the ground behind him. He didn't move for a second, surprised, I guess, but I took this moment to literally drag Tazuna to a spot further away from Zabuza. When I looked back, Kakashi had confronted Zabuza again. With only a side glance to show he still knew I was near, Zabuza turned and faced the ice mirrors again.

"What do you say we enjoy the show?" He spoke. I nearly fell apart when I could see Haku walking back to the crystal ice mirrors. Him and Naruto had obviously had some sort of verbal confrontation before parting. I heard Sasuke in pain again, some sort of strangled yell that he let out, and I cringed.

"Sasuke, Naruto, think!" Kakashi called out, "You have to attack the mirrors both from the outside and the inside!"

But Naruto, ever the idiot he was, had already snuck inside. I could hear Sasuke scold him for beingan idiot, something I could appreciate the humor in if it weren't for the image of Sasuke lying _nearly dead_ after all this was over.

I was going to kill Naruto.

I comforted myself with the thought that he never did die. Things were happening a bit differently with Zabuza, sure, but the events with Haku were solid. This all happened before, so why should anything change? Sasuke would live, just like last time.

Somehow that didn't calm my racing heart.

Eyeing the mirrors ahead of me, I cast a sidelong glance in Zabuza's direction. He was watching the mirrors, surely he wouldn't notice if I...

But as soon as I took a step, I heard his voice. "I wouldn't move, if I were you, little girl." I blanched at the term little girl. I hadn't been called little girl in years.

But, I guess I _was_ a little girl now.

I was tempted to ignore him. Kakashi could handle protecting Tazuna, couldn't he? But even Kakashi spoke against my movement, "Listen to him, Sakura." I took a step back, closer to Tazuna, and watched the fight with wide eyes. "It's a Kekkei Genkai." Zabuza laughed, as if enjoying some private joke.

"So..." I said quietly, "There's nothing. Nothing you can do?"

Kakashi glanced at me, holding my eyes for a long moment, before focusing back on the fight. "Nothing."

I already knew. I just hoped maybe that answer would change as well.

It was worse now, with Naruto in there, because he actually screamed. Sasuke I could hardly hear, because he would hold it back. Naruto let it all out. And it was horrible.

When Kakashi And Zabuza had another physical confrontation, I couldn't focus on them. I could hardly focus on the bridge builder. All I could focus on was Haku's jutsu. And the boys trapped inside of it.

I watched until the mist became so thick I couldn't see it anymore. I started to freak out, trying my hardest to at least listen, but there was no noise. Why couldn't I hear them? Were they already-

"Sakura!" Kakashi's voice was stern. I'm sure he knew I was freaking out already.

"Kakashi-Sensei, I-"

"Stay by Tazuna." He ordered, "And calm down. Focus. There's nothing we can do about Sasuke and Naruto right now."

It was then I felt a flush of chakra, from the general direction that Sasuke and Naruto were fighting. I remember Naruto speaking to me about what happened on this day when we were older. After Sasuke took the fall for one of Haku's attacks, Naruto's Kyuubi came to make an appearance. I stilled. So...Sasuke had already fallen?

Clenching my eyes shut or a moment, I took a couple deep breaths and moved closer to Tazuna. In the dense fog, I was nearly losing my mind with worry. Zabuza would come for me and Tazuna, it was only a matter of time for Kakashi to figure it out and-

There. Behind us.

Quickly moving behind Tazuna, I readied by kunai to defend us, but Kakashi stepped in front of me before I could. "Too late!" Zabuza roared, lifting his sword and swinging it toward Kakashi. I could only move fast enough because I knew what was going to happen, but very quickly I held my kunai with both my hands and shoved Kakashi to the side to block the sword. It strained my wrists, but I gathered chakra into my arms and feet, and it stopped. The sword stopped. Kakashi stared at me wide eyed and Zabuza growled.

"How-"

Kakashi shoved me backwards into Tazuna before Zabuza could finish his question. I pulled out a new kunai, my last one had fallen to the ground, forgotten. Zabuza's manic eyes focused on me, but soon I was blocked by Kakashi's body.

"If that's any preview to my genin," Kakashi began, "Then maybe you should worry."

Zabuza growled, "I think you should be worrying about yourself. You're eyes are sharp, Kakashi. But not sharp enough." Then there was maniacal laughter, creepy, insane, terrifying maniacal laughter. And then Kakashi was gone.

There was a beat of silence. then Tazuna spoke, "Nice moves, Pinky."

I let out some mix between a laugh and a sob.

* * *

It had been so quiet for so long. And I couldn't see _anything_. I didn't know where Kakashi and Zabuza went. I was too far from wherever Sasuke, Naruto, and Haku were to be able to hear them. And I couldn't. See. _Anything. _Tazuna and I didn't speak, and I was happy for it. The silence was so fragile. I felt like even if I breathed too heavily everything would fall apart.

The mist began to clear, very slowly, and my eyes swept across the area, searching frantically for signs of life. I saw Zabuza and Kakashi, Kakashi's hand practically wrist deep in the blood of Haku. Off to the side, Naruto stood. But where was Sasuke?

"What?" Naruto spoke, staring wide-eyed at Kakashi, "I don't understand. What happened?"

"The boy jumped in front of my attack."

"Isn't that the boy with the mask?"

Voices blended together. I already knew what happened, so it couldn't catch my attention. In the corner of my eye, I processed Zabuza going in for the kill and Kakashi jumping out of the way with Haku in his arms. Naruto stood off to the side, staring at the scene.

"Naruto!" I called. I didn't care if I was interrupting the battle, or if I was calling attention to myself. "Where? Where is he?"

His face was so tortured I almost broke down right there. But it would be okay. He would live. He would be okay Just like last time.

"Kakashi!" Zabuza's voice was only a momentary distraction, befor emy eyes settles back on Naruto, who looked everywhere but at me. "I'd pay attention if I were you."

"Let me take you to him," Tazuna said to me, "As long as we're still together you won't be disobeying orders." I could only nod and take his hand. We ran past Naruto, toward the place where Sasuke was. I saw him lying from a distance, and almost convinced myself it wasn't that bad.

But then we got closer.

Oh God, Oh God it was even worse than I remembered. We stood there, silent, so painfully silent, and stared. Just stared. I saw in my peripheral vision Tazuna had fixed his eyes on me. Then I realized a tear had escaped.

"He's fine." I said, my voice sounding so much more resolute than I felt. But he was. I knew he was. Dropping to my knees before him, I felt his face. So cold. Oh, God, so cold.

"He's fine." Tazuna didn't reply, only stared at me. I leaned down and tried to feel his breath on my cheek, tried to make sure he was breathing. Was he breathing? I leaned closer. I placed my fingertips at his lips. Nothing. I couldn't feel anything.

"He's fine!" My voice cracked, and Tazuna tried to say something, but I wasn't listening. I pressed my shaking fingers against his wrist, searching for a pulse. Why wasn't there a pulse? His neck. I checked his neck, frantically pressing against his pulse point. Nothing. Nothing.

"Nothing, why is there nothing, Sasuke, you heartless bastard, you're not _dead_!" Forcing any healing chakra I could conjure I pressed my hands awkwardly in between the spikes in his chest, trying to heal his heart. My chakra snapped back like a rubber band, sending me into a headrush as I struggled to stay conscious. "He's fine!" I repeated. "Of course he's fine, he'll always be fine, he always _is_ fine!"

"Sakura."

"He's not dead!" Two hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back from where I was frantically fluttering my hands around his body. Why was there no pulse? How could he be dead? He never died!

I ripped myself from the hands, identifying that they were Kakashi, but decided I didn't care if I was being insubordinate to my sensei. Sasuke was not dead. He would never be _dead_. Not _now_. Not while I'm alive.

Is this what she meant? The witch? Is this some sort of punishment for not doing exactly as she said? She said Sasuke was of no consequence. But was he disposable? I tried forcing chakra into my hands again, and I tried to heal his heart. Why wasn't this working?

"Sakura!"

This is her plan, isn't it? She wants to take away everything I love so she's all that's left. Then I have to do what she says. She's going to break me. She's going to ruin me. Until I do exactly what she wants.

"I'm sorry," I nearly sobbed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but he's not dead. He can't be dead. Sasuke, _wake up_!"

The hands were back, pulling me back into his chest and holding me back from Sasuke. I collapsed in a heap onto Kakashi's lap, resting my head on his knee and holding back any tears that may try and escape. I took deep breaths, deep calming breaths, but nothing calmed me.

_I'm sorry,_ I thought, begging for that witch to hear me,_ I'll do whatever you want, just please, please don't let him die. _

Then I heard a groan.

I snapped up, staring at Sasuke's body. Everyone else was standing completely still, staring at him as well.

"Sasuke?" I called tentatively. At first there was no responce. Then he coughed.

I threw myself away from Kakashi and onto Sasuke's chest. Gripping his shirt like a lifeline, I laid my head on his chest and I was barely able to keep from sobbing all over his shirt. "Sakura," Sasuke croaked, "You're heavy."

I lifted myself up and glared at him, "You nearly died, shut up and let me hug you."

I pulled myself closer to him, practically nose to nose, "Don't you _ever_ do that again. You...you are not allowed to die, not until you're old, and decrepit, and...and _retired_. That's the_ only_ time I'll let you die!"

"Sakura." I shook my head, holding him down with a hand on his chest.

"Don't you dare move, or you'll end up killing yourself. Again." I warned, and as he opened his mouth, I cut him off again, mostly because I was afraid he would tell me to back off, or go away, or even worse, say _thank you_. "And don't talk. Stop talking, stop moving, stop-"

"The boy with the mask." He ordered. Kakashi spoke up behind me.

"He jumped in front of my attack. Zabuza was defeated by Gato's men. And Sakura's right, you should rest."

"I'm fine." He said, sitting up.

"Sasuke, you-" He glared at me, so I stopped short. "Just...at least let me help you." I sighed, sliding my hand under his arm and around his back to help him to his feet. Once he was standing, he stepped away, and though I was tempted to hover, I forced myself to keep at least a foot distance.

"Yeah!" Naruto bellowed from behind me. I had honestly forgotten they were all here, "Everyone's alive! And now we can go home!" I laughed, nodding along with Naruto. But the image of Sasuke lying dead on the ground was burned into my memory, and I couldn't stop worrying that the witch was using him as some sort of collateral.

I needed to speak with her again.


	7. Unrequited Sexual Tension

**Okay, so...I'm back! This took a while. Computer stuff...but mostly laziness. But...I'm back now!**

**Thanks to my reviewers for last chapter, imsabbel, Xx-Demon-Child-xX, BloodyGirl, Pilar-Ann, and Otakugal!**

**Also...I'm thinking of writing a sister-story to this. It would literally be the same story, but all in Sasuke's point of view...But I don't know...yet...We'll see. It's been on my mind since I started this.**

I hated how easily we settled back into Konoha. I mean, don't get me wrong, I reveled in our team moments since we had gotten back, but there were so many things left unsaid. I waited for a dream from that witch and nothing ever came, so I was left to sit here in horribly concealed terror just waiting for her to do something again. I was so sure that had been her doing at the scene with Sasuke's death. There was no other explanation.

And that was why I hated how easily we settled back into Konoha. Because I was the only one who knew. I was the only one who worried.

As per usual.

I could _barely_ manage to keep it only in my head and not bring it to conversation, which is better than _not_ managing. But it was still awful. I longed to tell someone. I just wanted someone else to know, so I didn't feel like I had to protect Sasuke, because that was so backwards. Since when did I protect Sasuke? Wasn't it usually the other way around?

And if I ever said out loud that I wanted to protect Sasuke, I think he'd laugh in my face, tell me how weak and pathetic I am, and then probably attack me just to show he was stronger than I was.

But every morning when I woke up and found my way to our meeting bridge, I would find Sasuke there. And we would wait in silence until Naruto showed up, which would commence their rivalry. It was nice to see the rivalry, though. I couldn't remember Sasuke seeming so human as him and Naruto fought for attention. Though, Sasuke's way was much more low key and...cool, for lack of a better word. Naruto's was just funny.

Which I don't think is what he was going for.

I had spent the last few days taking all the time I could to train. I knew chunin exams were coming up, and I wanted to change something. Anything. but I couldn't do that if all I could do was sit there and look pretty. So every morning, when I came to the bridge, It'd be right after a long, vigorous training session. This morning wasn't any different.

Well, not the training part anyway. The silence part was a bit different.

"Sasuke," It seriously just blurted out of my mouth. I hadn't even been thinking about saying anything to him, it just kind of fell out of my mouth with no command, and I was legitimately worried I was about to word vomit all over the place.

His dark eyes fixed themselves on me and I stood there at a loss for words. What was I going to say? I couldn't say anything I'd be thinking about. Numerous theories of what he would do popped into my head, and none of them were nice. _Hey, Sasuke, you might die because an evil witch is using you against me, but don't worry, I'll protect you._

"I want to talk about the mission to the land of the waves."

..._whoa_.

I didn't mean to say that. I didn't, honestly, there was nothing I wanted to talk about from the land of the waves. Well, actually, there were plenty of things I wanted to talk about, but nothing I actually could. I wanted to talk about his apparent need to protect me, but if I brought that up he got immediately defensive. I also wanted to talk about his ability to be a total ass to everyone and then risk his life for us in battle. Most of all, I wanted to talk about his death, but if I did, he'd get all huffy and annoyed at his weakness.

You would think he'd feel strong after overcoming death.

I don't know how long I had stood there not saying anything, but it must've been a while, because he was prompted to say, "What?"

It wasn't really a questioning, innocent what. It was a warning. It was more of a there-shouldn't-be-anything-to-talk-about-but-I'm-allowing-you-a-chance-to-backtrack what than anything.

There was just one problem, I didn't know _what_.

"Um..." I searched for words, wondering why my big mouth wasn't working on it's own now, "You need to stop."

His confusion was nearly comical. His eyebrows drew together and his mouth opened just barely, as if he was about to say something but froze up.

"I mean, stop protecting me." There it was. The hardened expression that came up whenever I mentioned this. But I pressed on, "Sasuke, you cannot trouble yourself with protecting me during the-" I very nearly said chunin exams, but just barely saved myself, "-future missions. If you have to focus on my safety and well-being, along with Naruto's, and the enemy-"

"Naruto can protect himself."

I don't think it was meant to be insulting. I think he was just stating that when worst comes to worst, Naruto could be strong enough to get out alive. He'd done it before. But damn it, _so have I_, and just because no one knows about those situations yet, doesn't mean they didn't happen!

"...What?" Out of all the comebacks I had in my head, this is all that came out. But before he could answer, I spoke again, "Excuse me? I can protect myself just fine."

"Sakura, you're the weakest on our team." His eyes were hard, and not one ounce of emotion read on his face.

"Sasuke." I spoke sharply, "I'm not going to say I'm stronger than you, that would be ridiculous. I'm not going to say I'm stronger than Naruto, because when things get down to it, he's brilliant, but I'm not weak. I can handle myself."

"And how would you know?" He challenged, his voice carefully guarded. I'd learnt to read into his words many years ago, and I heard the unspoken meaning in his words. I hadn't had the chance to see if I could handle myself yet, since I wasn't in a situation that demanded it.

"I was nearly attacked twice-"

"Nearly." He cut me off. I had forgotten he used to actually speak when needed, rather than opting to stay completely silent like he did began to do when he got older. "You weren't in those ice-mirrors."

"Yes, I know, and _you_ were, and you _died_ because you felt the need to protect a teammate!"

"I'm still alive, Sakura."

"Sasuke, you didn't have a pulse!" If I had been yelling, I didn't realize until now. But just because I realized it, didn't mean I stopped, "And nothing I did could help, and you lied there, cold,_ freezing,_ Sasuke, and you weren't breathing, and you didn't have a pulse, and I can only imagine how awful Naruto felt, and I know that if that were my fault I would never be able to forgive myself, Sasuke. I'd die myself before letting you die for me."

I had gotten closer in my rant, and I didn't remember ever being this close to him. At least not while he was staring at me like that. He was glaring at me, venomously, as if I had insulted his most prized possession and all he wanted to do was beat my face in. His jaw was clenched, along with his fists at his sides, and he would not break eye contact. As angry and threatening as he looked, I found I still wished to touch him. I found I craved physical contact, and I realized with frightening clarity that I wanted to kiss him.

Naruto chose that moment to run onto the bridge, trip, and fall into the water. I broke eye contact with Sasuke and walked to the other side of the bridge, facing away form him. I ignore Naruto's cries for help.

* * *

Sasuke was inexplicably annoyed with me all day. On every mission, if I so much as glanced in his direction, he'd throw me a glare and then ignore me again. But it wasn't just if I interacted with him. If I talked to Naruto, he'd glare at me so fiercely I'd feel it burning into my scalp. I refused to confront him about it, because I was sure, with the mood he was in, he would say nothing. So I settled with talking to Naruto, probably much friendlier than necessary because I was trying so desperately to ignore Sasuke's glare.

Needless to say, these missions were nothing less than torture.

First was the weeds. Sasuke ignored me completely, even though I was less than two feet away from him. Naruto got beaten up for pulling all those woman's herbs, and when I went to heal his black eye (because I could actually heal shit now, and when Kakashi asked how I learned, I replied "I read it in a scroll" I don't think he believed me, but he let it slide) Sasuke scoffed loudly and trudged toward Kakashi-Sensei, who had our next mission. Naruto raced after him before I was done healing his eye, so we went to pick up trash in the river with Naruto's still-black-eye, and Sasuke's scowl.

Then, at the river, when Naruto apologized for not letting me finish his black eye (which I think he only said so I could heal it later) I told him he actually looks pretty bad-ass with it. Then he proceeded to blush bright red, fall over backwards, and go flying towards the water fall and almost fell down it before Sasuke saved him. As we were leaving, Naruto refused my offer to heal his black eye and trotted after Kakashi-Sensei. Sasuke stopped by me very briefly, and I stared up at him surprised. I was ready to ask if he was through ignoring me before he spoke.

"It might be a good idea to focus on the mission instead of flirting."

I gaped at him as he followed Kakashi. I couldn't move for a brief moment. "Flirting?" I hissed, "Sasuke, I was not-"

But he had already walked away. I followed, though begrudgingly.

The dog incident was the worst. Naruto picked the biggest dog, which was currently dragging him toward the mine field. Feeling like that was actually legitimately dangerous, I scooped up my tiny pup into my arms and pranced over in front of the big dog. Cooing, I set my dog down and wrapped its leash around my wrist, before leaning in to pet the huge dog. He lapped at my face as I scratched him behind his ears, and he sat down, nearly sitting on Naruto.

"Wow, Sakura-Chan, you're good with dogs!" Naruto spoke up, staring at me in something akin to awe.

"Naruto, I'm distracting you're dog, don't act like I just saved your life." I said, laughing.

It was then that a stick went flying past us and into the mine field, which prompted the huge mutt to spring from my hands and drag Naruto into the mine field. I looked up to see an entirely-too-innocent Sasuke standing back with his dog, head pointedly turned in the opposite direction. I nearly yelled at him, but settled to ignore him instead.

Apparently that was worse.

After we returned the dogs to their owners and Kakashi gave us the day off, Sasuke immediately stalked off in the direction of his home. Trying to be the bigger person, I called after him to have a good day off, but he whipped around and gave me a glare so fierce I had to turn away.

And then Naruto's stupid fan club showed up and I couldn't hold in the anger anymore. Especially when Konohamaru called me ugly, and then insulted my forehead. Honestly, who taught this kid manners? Wasn't he the Hokage's grandson? So, I don't know, shouldn't he be something like the Hokage?

It wasn't until he ran head-first into that bastard Kankuro that I felt bad for attacking him.

And it wasn't until Kankura pulled him up by the neck that I felt angry again.

"Hey, put him down, he's just a kid." I called, glaring at the puppet wielder. He turned his eyes on me, letting them lazily trail me up and down, sizing me up. After deciding I wasn't a threat, he smirked at me

"Is that supposed to convince me?" He taunted, tightening his grip on Konohamaru's scarf.

"Yes, it is." I said, staring evenly at him, "And if it doesn't, maybe the fact that he's the hokage's grandson might convince you."

His smirk widened, "Oh, really? Too bad that doesn't make me want to put him down just yet."

"Put him down." I ordered, through with all this stupid foreplay. I just wanted to kick his ass or something already.

He glared at me then, "You gonna make me, Pinky?"

I wasn't exactly planning on what happened next. Gathering chakra into my hand, I punched his wrist and made him drop Konohamaru to the ground, who then scrambled away to hide behind Naruto. That was what I had planned. Then, Kankuro wrapped his hand around my neck, shoving me against the wall to our right. He snarled.

I glanced at Naruto, who looked to be having some sort of inner conflict, then back at Kankuro who was glaring at me as if I just murdered his sister.

"You really don't want to mess with me, Pinky."

"Says the big guy wearing makeup."

His grip tightened on my neck and he growled. I think I heard his sister tell him to let go of me, but if she did, he didn't listen.

"Hey, you better let go of her, or I'll...uh..." I smiled slightly. Leave it to Naruto not to think of a threat before he speaks. "I'll make you!"

Kankuro smirked, "Go ahead." he turned his head to eye Naruto, "Try it.

And try it he did. Then fell flat on his ass when Kankuro used his chakra strings to trip him.

"Naruto, don't bother," I called, effectively drawing their attention to me, "He's not worth it. We'll kick his ass in the Chunin exams." Kankuro snarled, while Naruto just looked confused. "It's why they're here." I said, "Isn't it?"

Kankuro's expression didn't change, "You think you're smart for knowing that?"

"No," I said, smirking, "But I do think I'm smart for saying you'd look a whole lot scarier without the cat suit."

He growled, a real, animalistic growl that came form the back of his throat, and drew me back to slam me against the wall again. I laughed, which only prompted him to tighten his hold on my throat.

"I hate brats," He said, his fingers digging into the side of my neck. He wasn't really choking me, but I couldn't be surprised if he were planning to just tear out my windpipe, "And then they open their big mouths it just makes me want to break them in half." His grip tightened pointedly. I barely managed to lift myself enough to get nose to nose with him.

"I'm terrified." I whispered, taunting him. I grinned at the expression of angry shock that crossed his face, and I swear he was about to punch me in the face, but before anything could happen, a rock grazed the wrist of the hand at my neck like a bullet, and he snapped back, gripping his wrist. Something slid around my waist and pulled me rather violently to the side, toward Naruto. When I was finally still, I looked up to see Sasuke standing in front of me.

Protecting me. Again.

"You're a long way from home and you're way out of your league." Sasuke spoke, standing in front of me with his fists clenched at his sides. In his left hand he held another rock that he twirled around his fingers.

"Oh great, another wimp to tick me off." Kankuro spoke, still gripping his wrist. Sasuke raised the rock, and Kankuro stilled as if he expected him to throw it, but all Sasuke did was crush it in his hand, letting the dust be swept away by the wind.

"Get lost."

Kankuro glared at him spitefully, gripping a loose bandage from his back, he spoke hatefully, "You're the kind of brat I hate the most. All attitude and no action. You think you can take me on? Well, let's test that."

But before he could pull it off his back, a cold voice broke through the silence. "Kankuro," The voice spoke, "back off."

Everyone froze. I stared up at the future Kazekage, carefully hiding any feelings of pity. He almost killed me once, I remembered, but he grew into such a good person, I couldn't hold it against him now.

That didn't change the fact that he was scary as hell now, though.

"You're an embarrassment to our village." Gaara spoke, hanging upside down on the tree to our left. Kankuro rushed to explain himself, talking quickly and stumbling over his words. "Shut up," The red-head exhaled, "Or I'll kill you."

There was a stunned silence before Gaara turned towards us. "I'm sorry, for any trouble he may have caused."

I watched his eyes flicker over each one of us, lingering on Sasuke, and me as well, but the look was vastly different. Sasuke got a look that looked like appraisal, I got a look that made me feel like an annoyance.

"Let's go." Gaara ordered, and in a flurry of sand, he was on the ground, leading them away.

"Hey," Sasuke's voice rang out, and I was momentarily surprised at how authoritative he could sound when he wanted. He would make such a great Shinobi if he just stayed in the village. "Identify yourself." Temari was ridiculous enough to think he meant her and Sasuke clarified he wanted _the one with the gourd._

Gaara only turned slightly when he spoke his name, "Gaara of the desert," he turned fully towards Sasuke, "And I'm curious about you as well."

"Sasuke Uchiha."

Another silence filled the path, before Naruto's idiocy broke the silence. "Hi there, bet you wanna know my name, right?"

Gaara turned to leave, only throwing back a cold, "No," Before beginning to walk away again. Kankuro threw me a glare, mouthing the words, _you're dead._ I smiled, picturing all the ways I could smash him into the ground, before mock saluting him. Sasuke saw the exchange and painfully grabbed my arm, dragging me away from Naruto and his little group of academy kids. We rounded the corner and he practically threw me in front of him.

"What the hell is your problem?" I hissed, gripping my arm.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He challenged, glaring down at me. I stepped closer so I could get face to face with him.

"I thought I told you I didn't need you to protect me."

"Seemed like you needed it." His face didn't change, but I was ashamed at how mine did.

"No, Sasuke, I didn't!" I turned from him, finding the proximity too distracting from my anger, "I was _waiting_ for him to try to hit me, I had a_ plan_."

"What was your plan?" His voice was mocking, and I didn't dare turn to see what his face looked like, "To get pummeled by a few sand-nin?"

"No, Sasuke, it wasn't." I spoke scathingly, refusing to face him, "You know what? It doesn't even matter. I'm going to go home. Maybe I'll dream of a world without you in it. That would be great." I started to walk away, but he intercepted my path, stepping as close to me as I had before.

"You shouldn't egg people on like that." He scolded, glaring at me.

"And you shouldn't throw temper tantrums whenever things don't go like you want!"

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do Sasuke!" I was trying not to yell, but my volume wouldn't go down, "That's what you do. I didn't agree with you this morning, so you hated me the rest of the day."

He glared, "At least I don't flirt with my teammates-"

"I was not flirting!" I spat, clenching my fists at my sides, "There's something called _being a friend_, Sasuke, maybe you'd know about it if you cared to pull your head out of your own ass for two seconds and see the world."

His glare intensified to something brutal, but I didn't back down. Apparently, neither did he. "So, because I didn't want you, you move on to Naruto? You hated him two months ago."

I gaped or a split second, before snapping my mouth shut, "Sasuke Uchiha," I reprimanded, "My friendship with Naruto has nothing to do with your inability to be anything but a bastard." He looked ready to snap something back, but I wasn't finished. "And just because you're jealous of the team dynamic Naruto-kun" He blanched here, and I couldn't figure out why, "and I have, doesn't make it my fault. I try to talk to you Sasuke, and you never fail to push me away."

"This isn't about team dynamic," He spoke, eerily calm, "This is about you acting like an idiot."

"Me acting like an idiot?" I exploded, "This is about me acting like an idiot? Well, what about you acting like a girl?"

"I'm not."

"Yes." I argued, "Yes you are. No, maybe you aren't, maybe you're just acting like a child."

"Sakura." It was a warning, but I was too far gone in my satisfaction of insulting him that I didn't stop.

"You think you're so much better than us. How do you expect to get any stronger when you can't accept help form us? You can't accept advice, like to _stop worrying about me_! As weak and useless as you think I am, at least I can understand that I need to be able to work with people, and that makes me stronger than you in and of itself!"

He gripped my shoulders, pulling my face level to him, then snarled "You will _never_ be stronger than me."

I don't know what caused me to do what I did next. It was probably the stupidest thing I had ever done, ever, and that included all the stupid things I did while I was drunk. Maybe it was the proximity, or the sound of his voice, or the fact that not only was he still alive but he hadn't left us yet and he was even arguing with me, which never happened before because I was too terrified to get him angry. Whatever it was, it didn't make it any less idiotic when I lifted my hands to his neck and pulled him closer to mold my lips to his.

For a moment he let me. And, for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me back. He moved his hands from his sides to rest on my waist, but rather than keeping them there, he used them to shove me away. He looked positively scandalized. I stared at him, wide-eyed, and lifted my hand to cover my mouth so I didn't look like a gaping fish.

"Oh, God." Was all I said before turning on my heel and storming away. I wanted to badly for him to pull me back, like in those stupid romance novels I always loved to read, but this was_ Sasuke_._ Sasuke Uchiha._ And, honestly, let's face is, Sasuke Uchiha doesn't make out with anyone. Much less me.

Once I decided I was far enough away, I leaned against the wall behind me and sank to the ground, cradling my face in my hands. Clenching my eyes shut, I forced the thought of his expression out of my head. He had looked so shocked,_ disgusted._ But It didn't matter.

All that mattered, was no matter how much I berated myself and rubbed off my lips, I couldn't regret it. And I couldn't get the feel of his lips on mine out of my head.


	8. After Effects

**Thanks to my reviewers! BloodyGirl, Animelover351, Lawi, sweetdude-v5, Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, Jane Odair, Pilar Ann, and PsychoNinjaWolf. Oh, and an anonymous!**

**So...Probably going to try out the sister story...eventually. I actually started working on the first chapter! But...haha...it was atrocious so I'm redoing it. Expect it soon though! I will put in an authors note of this story when the first chapter is posted, so you don't have to worry about checking my profile or anything, I will let you know. The updates won't be as frequent as this one because...writing as Sasuke is much more difficult than I thought...and if he seems out of character in his thoughts a bit, my argument is this is in his most inner thoughts, the things we don't see, so I have a bit of room to move around.**

**But...enough about shit you guys don't care about, let's get on to the story!**

**Meow~**

The next morning was probably the worst morning of my life.

...Okay, that's not entirely true, but it was still awful.

I purposely showed up late so I wouldn't be there alone with Sasuke. I showed up about an hour late, which immediately caused Naruto to rant about how I was turning into Kakashi-Sensei. He wouldn't stop talking, and the entire time Sasuke just stood off to the side, not glaring, not even acknowledging, but staring off into the complete opposite direction.

Which shouldn't be so bad, right?

But it was. Because even when Kakashi showed up and told us we were enrolled in the Chunin exams, Sasuke went out of his way to stand away from me and still refused to look in my direction. Once Kakashi had left, I turned to try and smooth things out with Sasuke, but he was already gone. Naruto asked if I wanted to go get ramen and I immediately turned him down, not noticing how crest fallen he looked until he was gone.

Cool, I just got Naruto upset, too. At least he wouldn't throw a temper tantrum.

Then I saw him, standing a good distance away from me. I jogged up to meet him, calling him on the way, "Sasuke, we need to talk about that kiss."

Then, too late, I realized it was a genjutsu.

Hey, way to go, Sakura.

He turned to face me, glare wiped from his face, and I concealed any sign of knowledge that this was a genjutsu. He started speaking, in a voice so unlike Sasuke's because it lacked the clipped phrases and cold monotone, but I didn't hear what he was saying. I pinpointed where the ninja was, then quickly released the genjutsu and dashed toward his hiding place. I got there before he could run and threw a chakra infused punch at his face. He fell out of his branch and to the ground, howling and gripping his face.

"How the hell do you do that?" He grunted, standing with one hand to his face, blood pouring around his hand, "I think you broke my nose!"

Taking out a kunai and tackling him to the ground, I held it against his neck, "Who are you?" I demanded, digging the kunai into his neck. He smirked then.

"I assumed you would be weak."

"Assumptions are weakness." I replied, "Now who-" But my physical strength still wasn't as built up as it had been, and he threw me off his body, getting to his feet quickly.

"I suppose they are." He replied, "Good luck in the Chunin exams."

Then he disappeared. I stared at the place he had just stood, my brain running rampant. Chunin exams?

Oh, God, duh, this was a test to get us in. And I just broke the nose of a Konoha ninja.

Cool, Sakura. Real cool.

* * *

At the Chunin exams, I had almost completely forgotten the assholes with the genjutsu. They stood in front of the entrance of room '301' even though in realiaty it was actually 201. Sasuke started a confrontation, telling them to drop the genjutsu. I vaguely remembered him giving me credit last time, but he did nothing of the sort this time. Naruto did, though.

"Sakura-Chan, you probably saw that, right? I mean you are the smartest on our squad!" He yelled, grinning at me.

"Sharpest eyes and smartest are two very different things." Sasuke broke in, and I nearly punched him in the face.

"Alright." Asshole number one said form the door, "You saw the genjutsu. Well let's see how you handle this!" He went in to kick Sasuke, and while Sasuke was about to reciprocate, this is when Rock Lee stepped in.

In all his spandex glory.

"What happened to laying low?" Neji hissed after Sasuke and Asshole number one had seperated.

"I know, I just..." Lee started, but looked towards me, cheeks slightly red.

Oh God, no, not right now, Lee, don't.

"My name is Rock Lee," He introduced, stepping up towards me. Sasuke was staring in disbelief, while Naruto was just trying not to laugh. Probably at his eyebrows. "You are Sakura-Chan, right?"

I raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Please be my girlfriend!" He spoke, holding a thumbs up. "I vow to protect you with my life."

I laughed then, because of the cheesiness of the line, and for a minute I thought he was upset and my laugh, but he quickly swooned.

"The laugh of an angel,"

"Okay, um..." I began, about to find the words to put him down nicely, but he evidently took my okay the wrong way. His whole face lit up like Christmas. "No!" I said, "No, that's not what I meant!"

"Sakura-Chan! You will be so glad you accepted my offer-"

"No!" I cut in, "No, no, no, no, no Lee I did not accept your offer." He swooned again.

"Lee!" He explained, "She already nicknamed me!"

"Lee, I swear, if you don't stop right now, I'll-" His armd suddenly wrapped around me and lifted my off the ground.

"I do not mean to make my cherry blossom angry!" I think I heard Naruto laughing hysterically in the background, "Sakura-Chan, you will not be sorry for-"

I didn't mean to do it. It's just, when I get in a situation and no one's listening to me and I don't know what to do, I get violent. So, I punched him in the back of the head. He immediately dropped me and fell backwards to sprawl out on the ground.

"We," I said, gesturing violently between the two of us, "Will never be! No! So stop!" Naruto was still laughing his ass off behind me, so I turned on him. "It's not funny, Naruto, stop it!" He didn't stop.

"Hey," I recognized the voice as Neji's, and turned to see him facing Sasuke, "You, what is your name?"

Naruto stopped laughing, and starting glaring at Sasuke. I sighed. This was all so stupid. I think I hear Lee mumble something about his angel and I nearly punched him again.

"It's common courtesy to give your own name before asking someone else's." Ironic, I thought, that Sasuke of all people would make a comment about common courtesy.

Naruto guffawed, and I realized with slight horror that I had said that out loud. Sasuke didn't hear, thank God.

"You're a rookie, aren't you?" Neji asked, "How old are you, anyway?"

"I'm not obliged to answer." Neji glared down at Sasuke, and Tenten covered her smile. Of course every girl Sasuke meets has to develop a crush on him. Just wait until they find out what an asshole he is and then see how fast they run.

...Yeah, says the girl who knows the worst of him and still refuses to stop loving him.

"Come on," I said, grabbing Naruto's wrist and, much to his displeasure, Sasuke's. "Let's just go." Sasuke snapped his wrist out of my hand as soon as he could, and settled to walk as far form me as possible. Fine, Sasuke, if you want to be a baby, you can go right ahead. Just because I soiled your virgin lips; would you have rather it been Naruto?

I was too caught up in my inner rant to hear Lee call until Sasuke and Naruto stopped walking. "With the attitude! Wait!" Lee stood up on a balcony.

"What do you want?" Sasuke spoke, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I want to challenge you to a fight." He spoke, jumping down to be on our level, "My name is Rock Lee. You said it was common courtesy for a challenger to give his own name first, right? Sasuke Uchiha?"

"So you know me?" He sounded so smug I almost rolled my eyes.

"I've heard great things about the Uchiha clan. I want to know if they are true," He got into a fighting stance, "You would be a good test for me. Also..."

And of course he looks right at me, I froze. glancing at each of my boys. Naruto stood there looking confused and idiotic, but what else was new. Sasuke glowered in Lee's direction, his jaw clenched.

"Sakura," Lee spoke, pulling my eyes back to him, "...I love you!"

I nearly fell over, letting out some mix of a growl and a cry of indignation, "Don't say things like that!"

"You are an angel, sent from heaven!" He blew me a kiss, well, more like fifteen thousand kisses, and I gave that noise again.

"Lee, stop it, this isn't funny!"

"Love is never funny!"

"_Lee!_"

"Sakura-Chan!"

Then, without my even noticing, Sasuke had moved from his spot five feet away from me and was throwing a kick at Lee's face. Lee leant back to dodge it, and dodged every other one of Sasuke's attacks.

"Sasuke!" I scolded, "Stop it! Let's just go, already!" He paid me no mind, still going at Lee. Suddenly, Sasuke was thrown back. There was a small exchange of words between him and Lee that I missed because I was too busy trying to find a way to get Sasuke to leave Lee the hell alone.

"I've been wanting to try this out." Sasuke spoke, turning his head up to reveal sharingan. If I hadn't seen how useless sharingan is against Lee, I might have been impressed. Instead, I just pinched the bridge of my nose as Sasuke ran at Lee and got kicked back yet again.

"Okay!" I cut in, "We get it, Lee's an amazing fighter, Oh my God, let's all stand here and bask in his glory! No. Let's go now, please?"

Lee swooned again, "My cherry blossom admires my fighting!"

"What? No, I-"

"I will fight for you Sakura-Chan!"

"You will do no such thing!"

But he and Sasuke were already going at it. I turned away from the fight massaging my temples to calm myself. I just wanted to get to the test already, my God.

"Enough!" I heard an unfamiliar voice call. I turned to see Lee in the middle of doing that head-slam-on-ground move, hell if I remember what it's called, but the bandages he would use to wrap around the body had been pined to the wall...by a pin wheel. And to the side...a giant turtle.

Please, Lord, don't do this to me.

"Lee, that last technique is forbidden, you know that!" The turtle scolded as Lee kneeled before him.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to." It was silent for a minute, before the turtle threw him a look and Lee sprung to his feet, trying to explain himself.

"Hey!" Naruto called to me, and I glanced over.

"What?"

"That's a turtle, right?"

I stared at him blankly, "No." I replied, "It's a squirrel."

He apparently didn't understand my sarcasm, because he looked between me and the turtle at least five times before answering, "Sakura-Chan, I'm pretty sure that's a turtle."

"Just-what about it, Naruto?"

"So, if that's a turtle, does that mean turtles can be Sensei too?"

There was a sudden burst in the direction of the turtle, and in a cloud of smoke stood Gai-Sensei. I think I almost died.

"He's got the biggest eyebrows yet!" Naruto yelled, "They're almost alive!"

"Hey, do not insult Gai-Sensei, he is the best person ever!"

"Well excuse me for not noticing his greatness I was too busy noticing him crawling out from under a turtle!"

"He did not_ crawl_ out!"

"Give it a rest, Lee." Gai called out from behind him. "Are you ready for your punishment?"

The punishment just so happened to be a punch to the face that sent Lee flying. They then proceeded to have the creepiest student-Sensei moment I'd ever seen.

"You know, it's kind of sweet, how they're hugging and stuff."

I just shuddered, wrapping my arms around myself and turning away from the group. Sometimes I hate my life.

* * *

You know, I think I take back hating my life. I didn't really hate my life until we ran into Kabuto once walking into the examination room. And of course he has to act so innocent and give us information from those stupid cards about Gaara and Lee, while Sasuke eats it up like _dinner_. I was just about ready to tear my hair out in frustration at the blatant act Kabuto was putting on when Naruto yelled out to the entire sea of Chunin examiners that he was kick all their asses.

"Sakura! Keep your boyfriend under control!" Ino screeched from beside me.

"I don't control his life, Ino, he can say whatever he wants." Then as an afterthought, I quickly added "And-And he's not my boyfriend!"

"Oh, that's right, you can't get one!" I chose not to reply, glaring at her and turning to face Naruto. He was standing there grinning like an idiot, and as my eyes swept over the crowd, I caught the eye of Kankuro glowering at me. I grinned fleetingly at him, before letting my eyes continue their sweep. That sound trio hadn't moved yet, but I kept my eyes on them. The guy without the bandages on his face, Heaven knows I don't remember his name, locked eyes with me and smirked. I didn't change my expression.

Then they were gone. And before I could react, the bandaged one, maybe his name was Dosu or something, was on Kabuto. I couldn't bring myself to even pretend to be worried for him as he fell to the ground after a hit that seemingly didn't make contact. The black haired one, who knows his name, locked eyes with me again. He smirked, speaking to Kabuto, but letting me break eye contact.

"Put this on your little cards, punk," His smirk widened, "The genin from the sound village will be Chunin when this is over, garaunteed."

It was almost awkward how long we held eye contact, and when his taunting smirk morphed into something more dangerous, I wondered if I had unintentionally challenged him.

The explosion of smoke at the front of the room was enough to break the eye contact, "Alright you baby-faced degenerates!" A rough voice spoke, the source still hidden in the smoke. "It's time to begin. I'm Ibiki Morino, your proctor, and form this moment, your worst enemy"

I had forgotten how easy this test was. Okay, well, not easy, it was actually difficult, but it was easy to cheat. And I forgot how much people cheated. First, the idiot to my left tried to sneak a glance (very subtle), then someone behind me who mumbled some jutsu under their breath, and I'm sure everyone else was doing the same. It _was_ the point of the whole thing. Once I finished, I flipped the paper over and leaned back in my seat, surveying the room. I could see the sand eye Gaara was using on one of the students. Shikamaru was asleep (figures) and Hinata was offering her test to Naruto.

I smiled slightly at that. I didn't realize she'd had such a huge crush on him when we were Genin. I knew when we were older she had, mostly because once when Naruto made a crude sexual joke in her presence she went bright red and promptly fainted. I knew it wasn't because of her virgin mind, considering she spent time with Ino and I, and Ino gave a whole new meaning to the name pig.

Speaking of Ino...

Wait. No, wait, Goddamnit, no-

That was when my mind went pretty much blank, before hearing Ino's voice. "Thanks for letting my camp out in your soul for a little, Sakura. Even if it is cramped in here."

I contemplated forcing her out, but honestly, I wasn't going to bring back that fucking inner unless absolutely necessary. I hated that bitch. So, I figured, cheating is the point of this anyway.

"Aw, Ino, can't figure it out? How sad."

"Shut up forehead! Who's the one helpless right now?"

If she didn't have control of my actions, I would've smirked, "I wouldn't say helpless..."

After a moment she was gone, back into her own body, and I nearly collapsed over the desk. Forcing my head up to look around again, I saw Naruto freaking out again. Then came question 10. Two simple rules;

Each of us are free to choose not to be given the final question. It's our decision. But, then we'd get a zero. And we'd fail. Along with our teammates.

If we do accept the question, but answer it incorrectly, we fail, and we are barred from taking the Chunin exams ever again.

And when delivering the rules, Ibiki was creepy as hell. I tried to look scared, I really did, but I was just waiting for Naruto to speak up already.

"Don't underestimate me!" He finally exploded, slamming his hand down on the desk, "I don't quit and I don't run. You aren't going to scare me off. I don't care if I do get stuck as a genin for the rest of my life. I'll still be Hokage someday!" I smiled as I watched him, and saw Hinata stare at him in awe. Sparing a quick, fleeting glance at Sasuke I saw he was smirking.

"This decision is one that can change your life." Ibiki said, "If for any reason you want to quit, now is your last chance."

Naruto didn't falter. "I never go back on my word."

"Well then, I admire your determination. Nothing else." Ibiki spoke gruffly, "For the rest of you, there's only one thing to say...and that's to tell you..." He looked over the group of genin slowly, as if examining each one of us. "You passed the first exam."

I couldn't hold back a grin then.

* * *

I had been stupid enough to fool myself into believing Sasuke would stop acting like a brat once we got to the Forest of Death. Considering we'd have to work together, you'd think he'd make some sort of effort, right?

Wrong.

He still refused to talk to me, refused to look at me even. I tried to ignore it, knowing he would work with me when he absolutely had to, but that wasn't enough. What if we got ambushed? And he was too busy sulking to help?

"Sasuke!" I finally snapped. We were waiting at the gate, listening to the countdown, prepared to dash in. I was the one assigned to carry our scroll, and I had tucked it safely away in my bag. "We need to work as a team. Which means you need to stop acting like a child!"

Naruto watched us in confusion as Sasuke sent me a nasty glare. The gates opened and Sasuke rushed in without a word, Naruto and I close behind.

"It was a mistake, okay?" I called after him. He stopped in a clearing and I stepped in front of him. "I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry." he shoved past me and continued walking ahead. "Sasuke!"

"Focus on the exams, Sakura." Funny, the first thing he says to me, and he sounds like he's going to murder me.

"I'm trying to tell _you_ to do that! This needs to involve teamwork Sasuke, and some stupid kiss can't step in the way of that." Naruto blanched at the word kiss.

"Focus." He warned, his lip curling into a snarl. I stepped closer, face to face with him once again.

"I'm trying to focus, Sasuke!" I growled, "You're the one acting out!"

"Well," He said evenly, "If you didn't throw yourself at everybody-"

"Excuse me? Sasuke, I kissed you, you're the only one I've kissed, that hardly qualifies as everybody."

"Nice to know you're still just as obsessed with me as in the academy." He tried to walk past me but I blocked his path.

"I kissed you because I'm attracted to you, not because I'm obsessed with you." I said, pushing him back when he tried to push past me.

"You're the same stupid fan girl from the academy." He spoke, forcing me to the side. "You're annoying."

Unable to control my anger anymore, especially at that familiar phrase, my fist was flying before I even comprehended my anger. It hit him square in the jaw, and he stumbled back a step. He turned and gave me a glare so fierce I almost fell to the ground begging for forgiveness.

Then something grabbed Naruto and brought him up to the trees.

"What the-" The same thing, vines or ropes or something, wrapped around me as Naruto fell to the ground and I was pulled up to the branches above us. I was pulled into the arms of some shinobi who immediately reached into my bag. "No you don't" I warned, twisting in his grip to send a chakra infused punch in the face. He nearly fell out of the tree, but caught the branch below and swung back up. Once he was high enough, I tackled him, and we went flying back into the clearing. He hit the ground first, with me on top of him. He rolled us over so he could pin me down, but I kicked him off of me. Hard. He hit the tree to our left and I rushed over, grabbing him by the collar, and punching him in the head.

He was knocked out cold.

I checked him to see if he had the scroll we needed, but it was the same one as us. So even if he had won, he wouldn't have taken ...he might've. "Let's get out of here before his teammates get down here." I said, turning and ignoring Sasuke as we left the clearing.

"Sakura-Chan..." Naruto started, treading carefully beside me, "Did you say kiss-"

"Damn it!" I suddenly exploded, and Naruto jumped back a foot, "Yes. Yes I said kiss. I kissed Sasuke. He's being a baby about it. End of." I could feel Sasuke glaring into the back of my head. The tension was palpable, and although I knew it was stupid to be in such a state during this exam, I couldn't bring myself to apologize.

I could never apologize for that kiss.


	9. Prelude for Coming Answers

**NEW LAPTOP FUCK YEAH! Now I can type at normal times rather than odd hours of the morning when I know no one will be walking around making noise all the time while I'm at the computer trying to be CREATIVE. Dang.**

**Yeeaahhh~**

**Soo, finally this chapter, but it's like…This is hard. Ugh. Action.**

**So THANK YOU SO MUCH REVIEWERS! I got a bunch of reviewers, so lemme just…list em. As per usual. Thanks to LoverForAnime, PockyPaint, Twisted Musalih, SasuSakuxNaruHina, BloodyGirls, Lawi, Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, redxcherrie, Pilar Ann, O,Ferchito.O, Xx-Demon-Child-xX, and akeginu!**

**I just want to make a point to how much your reviews all mean to me. I try to reply to all of them to show my gratitude, I don't always reply to all because I'm forgetful…but I try! I just want you guys to know that it really warms my heart to see the reaction this story is getting from you guys, and this sounds sappy and possibly a bit dramatic but seeing a review from any of you just brightens my day. ALSO to you favorite-ers and alert-ers! It makes me happy to see you guys too, to know that you're interested! So don't think I'm forgetting you guys!**

**So…dreadfully long authors note but I'm just really happy with the way this story is going and I wanted to you guys to know how much your feedback means to me. So thank you very, very much.**

So after coming up with that ridiculously long code phrase about a ninja waiting to strike (I actually had it memorized. For two reasons, because I heard Sasuke say it just now, and because I never forgot it before. I purposely kept it in mind to keep his voice in my head) we were preparing to find other ninja to acquire a scroll. The code phrase was for comfort's sake. Naruto had already been taken and replaced by another ninja to try and get our scroll, so now we needed to be very careful. Though, it probably wasn't much help when Naruto wouldn't remember it.

Oh well.

I completely believed I was ready for this. My training had been intense the past few days. I worked on my chakra control until I either passed out or threw up. I had trained physically until I couldn't move, and although I was still frustratingly weaker than I had been, I was certainly stronger than I was when I was this age. I had very carefully locked away in fear or apprehension of the events I knew were coming. I had finally gotten the hang of meditating and used it to calm myself in times of turmoil when I would think of this exam. I completely, honestly believed I was ready.

Unfortunately, no amount of meditating or training could make me feel prepared to see Naruto being eaten alive by that giant snake.

I hadn't seen this before. I think I remember him telling me about it, but I'd never actually seen it. But that wind Orochimaru (or whoever he was disguised as) sent had split us all up, and instead of finding Sasuke like I had last time, I couldn't find either of them. Until now.

But it didn't matter_, because Naruto was being digested by a snake!_

Scrambling back from my place in the bushes, I escaped as quickly and quietly as possible. I needed to find Sasuke, I needed to help him against Orochimaru. I knew that physically I was as ready for this fight as I possibly could be, and my emotions were carefully locked away in the back of my mind. I could help, seriously help, I could save him I just needed to—

A plethora of knives and shiruken suddenly shot towards me from the treetops. I dodged them as they came, but there was a constant stream from above. I quickly pinpointed where they were coming from and sent a chakra infused kick at the tree they resided. A sting of pain went up my leg, but it was only momentary, and I felt great satisfaction at the way the wood splintered beneath my foot. The tree wavered for a moment, and fell into another tree. I was expecting some sort of domino effect, but the other tree only bent under its weight without breaking. Out of the tree fell my assailant, so I jumped to meet them in midair and tackled them, pinning them to the ground.

I was about to knock them out or tell them I don't have a scroll so I'm not worth fighting, but the words died in my throat. Very familiar dark green eyes stared back at me. _Techi?_

Out of all the relationships I had attempted (yes, all two of them) Techi was the better one. He was the guy who liked me and I liked back, and if it weren't for my own issues I may have been able to be happy with him. We had gone out for two weeks, before I broke it off because I couldn't live through the guilt. I was lying to him when I was with him, because I could never love him like I loved…someone else.

He was actually very beautiful. And strong. But he was the polar opposite of Sasuke. While Sasuke was pale and dark haired, Techi, while he was still pretty pale, had sun-kissed skin. His hair was a bright orange and was always messy on his head, looking as if he just rolled out of bed. His eyes were a deep, dark, forest green, and he had always been physically imposing. He was tall and broad, with a square jaw and big hands. It was odd seeing him so young, since I didn't meet him until he was nineteen. He was two years older than me, so even now he looked much more mature than I did, but it was still weird.

He saw his opening while I was lost in thought and kicked me over, pinning me to the forest floor. "No, wait!" I spoke as he attempted to search for the scroll, "I don't have it! It's with my teammates, we were separated. I don't have the scroll." He eyed me suspiciously for a moment, patting me down a bit more, then finally decided I was telling the truth. He got off me, holding out a hand to help me out.

"Name?" I asked, remembering that I wasn't supposed to know him.

"Techi. You?"

"Sakura Haruno." I smiled weakly at him. "Leaf?" I gestured to his headband and he nodded.

"Your hair…" He started, and I laughed, remembering this from the last time I had met him.

"Natural." I replied, and he pursed his lips and nodded. He glanced around the clearing before turning his head back to me.

"Since we're both leaf," He said, "What do you say we work together until we find our team? What scroll do you guys have anyway?"

"Heaven." He grinned, something most girls would find dazzling if it weren't for the smirks on a much different face that I had seen before.

"Us too," He said, mussing his hair like he always did, "Looks like we got ourselves an alliance, Pinky."

"Sakura," I corrected, and he waved me off.

"Pinky is cuter. How old are you anyway?" He asked, walking past me and towards the edge of the clearing, "I think I last saw my team in this direction, do you mind?"

I shook my head, ready to tell him I needed to find mine first, but answered his question, "I'm twelve." He stopped suddenly, almost causing me to bump into his back.

"Shit, you're one of the rookies?" I nodded and he shook his head, incredulous, "Which team?"

"Doesn't matter," I said quickly, "I need to find them, they're in trouble."

He glanced sidelong at me for a moment, before asking, "What kind of trouble?" I frowned, turning around me to try and decide which direction to go.

"Big, monumental, huge trouble. One of them was just eaten by a giant snake, if that tells you anything."

He gave a start, "Giant snake? Shit, really?"

I nodded, "I have reason to believe he'll be fine, it's my other teammate I'm worried about." He gave me a strange look, probably questioning my priorities, but only listened as I continued to speak, "He's fighting someone potentially very dangerous. I need to find him and help him."

"I bet you'd be a big help," I thought he was being sarcastic for a moment, but when he continued I realized he was genuine, "I mean you broke a fucking tree with your foot, that's pretty intense." I smiled fleetingly at him, listening for any big ruckus that could lead me to Sasuke. Techi was admittedly distracting, standing there and staring at me something like he used to when we first met. Some weird cross between fear, awe, and that weird teasing, goading look that you could only see on Techi.

We had spoken of this exam before. When I found out he had been a part of this and I couldn't remember, I felt awful but he assured me it was fine. He said he had dropped out after the second part anyway because…

Uh oh.

He said his second year of taking the Chunin exams, when everything went all weird, his teammates had died in the forest of death.

"No alliance."I said finally, and he snapped his head in my direction, shocked, "I just mean…I mean, we both need to find our teams first. Weird things are happening here, and we need to find our teams. If we meet again later, we can have an alliance, okay? But not now. This is important, we need to find our teams."

"Okay, okay," He spoke quietly, holding his hands out placing them on my shoulders comfortingly, "Go find your teammates, help the one who is still undigested. Hopefully we'll see each other again soon, Pinky." He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and I nodded, hoping he'd find his team.

"I should be easy to find if you need me," I said before he went, "Pink hair and all." He grinned in response, offering me a salute and turning the other direction.

Orochimaru caused so much death, I realized, more than just through Sasuke. I suddenly wanted to kill him.

* * *

I searched. God, I searched, but it was like they had all disappeared. I nearly got bombarded by at least five different teams, I think I may have even passed by Gaara's team (he has a pretty distinctive voice) but I didn't check. I booked it out of there. I didn't want to risk any chakra sweeps because I wanted to save all my chakra for the fight with Orochimaru.

I wondered where they were at this point. Had Orochimaru already shown Sasuke his death to try and scare him into a frozen state? Had he already attacked Sasuke with the snake? Had Naruto shown up? It was driving me crazy not knowing where they were, what they were doing. Surely Orochimaru hadn't given Sasuke the curse mark yet. It was much too early.

But what if something was different?

I hadn't felt this terrified since my dream with the witch. I never felt so helpless and confused. It was all I could do to sit in a high branch and cradle my head in my hands to try and save my energy for battle, if I made it to the battle. Clutching at my hair, I grit my teeth in frustration. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit someone, or kill someone if it could be Orochimaru. I just felt so desperate.

And then I felt it.

A giant burst of chakra, similar to what I had felt that time in the fight with Zabuza, called my attention. It was angry, wild chakra, instantly identified as Naruto's Kyuubi. I actually grinned in relief. Standing to my feet, I searched around me for the source and found it, immediately dashing off in that direction.

"Hey!" I heard Naruto exclaim angrily, and I realized I was close if I could hear his voice, "You better get that off me before I rip your tongue right out of your throat!" Picking up my speed, I followed the sound of his voice and his chakra signal. But suddenly, the chakra was gone, and I heard a name of a seal shouted in a woman's voice. Turning my head sharply to the left, I could barely see the silhouettes of a giant snake and people. I bolted to their location, seeing Naruto falling through the air to the ground.

_He won't survive that fall,_ I thought to myself. Taking out a kunai and aiming like I didn't know I could, I let it fly through the air and catch Naruto's shirt, pinning him to a tree behind him. Without allowing Orochimaru any reaction time I jumped onto his snake's head and punched him so hard in the face he crashed through two trees.

"Sasuke, you idiot!" I scolded while Orochimaru was indisposed for the moment, "Wake up! This isn't a time to freeze up!" I remembered that last time he hadn't even moved for at least fifteen minutes, so I didn't need to look back to know he still wasn't moving. Orochimaru came at me, stretching out like a snake, and wrapped his tongue around my neck. Knowing I couldn't simply rip his tongue out of his mouth and get away with it, I kicked blindly backwards and caught the trunk of a tree. It shook violently, before caving and falling towards us. He let go of me to dodge the debris and I caught myself on a lower branch, hastily pulling myself up and jumping to another tree just before the one I had demolished fell where I had just stood. I looked over to Orochimaru and saw him staring intently before he rushed forward and slammed me against the bark behind me.

"I've only known one woman to hit like that." He said, clutching at my arms. His eyes scared me. They had some sort of primitive hunger, as if he thrived on this stuff.

"Well," I spoke, nearly wincing at the pressure on my arms, "Now you know two." I kicked him in the stomach, only hard enough to push him away, and jumped up to a higher branch. He followed me, writhing around the tree like a snake and slamming his body into mine. We crashed through a branch or two before finally slamming into something. He pinned me down with his body weight so I could throw a punch at him, and my strength was no match for his sheer weight. I mentally cursed myself for getting in this situation.

"Uh, Sasuke?" I called, "A little help here?" Orochimaru made some unfamiliar hand signals and my eyes widened. "Sasuke!" I called louder, "I don't know what he's doing, please don't let me find out!" He leaned in toward me and smirked, looking only slightly less sinister in this body.

"I think you should stop struggling." He leered, smiling with some disgusting form of satisfaction.

"Sasuke! _Please_!"

I heard the thump of bodies hitting the ground before I realized Orochimaru wasn't on top of me anymore. Sitting up quickly, I healed a nasty bruise on my back so I could move easier and searched for Sasuke and Orochimaru. A few branches below mine, I could see them fighting, and I quickly jumped down to help. He got the upper hand on Sasuke for a brief second, something I'm sure Sasuke would've gotten out of, but I couldn't stop myself from delivering another punch to the jaw. He went flying again.

"Sakura, get out of here." I turned to face him furiously clenching my fists.

"You can't do this alone, Sasuke." I spoke, checking in the corner of my eye to see if Orochimaru was coming back. Not yet.

"I'll handle this." He said, "Get Naruto. Now. _Go_."

"Sasuke, you can't do everything on your own!" His hands were suddenly on me, forcibly turning me around and toward the edge of the branch.

"Get Naruto and get the _hell _out of here and try not to draw attention to yourself." He ordered, giving me a harsh shove as Orochimaru landed back on the branch, looking less than pleased. When I didn't move, he gave a harsh, loud, "Now!" And I complied.

I don't know why I did, considering I could actually be relatively helpful as long as I didn't get caught like the last time, but something about the way he asked (more like ordered, but even still) me to leave made me obey. Finding the tree Naruto was on; I very quickly removed the kunai and held him over my shoulders to move him to the ground under some shrubbery where I figured he'd be relatively safe. I turned my attention back to Sasuke and Orochimaru to see him bombarding a tied-up Orochimaru with fire. I clumsily found my footing and dashed towards him. He was slightly bent over, breathing heavily.

"Sasuke!"I said, nearing him. I slipped a hand around his waist to support him, and although I could see him think about resisting, he let me, "Let's get out of here, now."

"Just—"He tried to speak, but I cut him off, forcing him toward Naruto.

"No!" I cut in, aware of how desperate I sounded, "We need to go, trust me, _please_, let's go." He eyed my suspiciously, and I spared a glance in Orochimaru's direction. He hadn't moved quite yet. Sasuke gave a single nod and I supported him as he haphazardly stumbled from branch to branch before we met the ground.

Suddenly, I felt myself ripped from Sasuke's side and into the rough bark of a tree. Orochimaru stood there, one hand closed around my throat, "You're beginning to annoy me," He spoke, tightening his grip, "I'm beginning to think you know more than you should."

"Really?" I choked, gripping his wrist. "You mean like how you are obviously not who you claim to be?" I lifted a hand to hook a finger into the layer of skin that had peeled around his eye. With a growl deep in his throat, he grabbed that wrist with his other arm, along with my other wrist, and pinned them above my head, keeping his hand on my throat. I looked to Sasuke and he met my eyes, frozen. I tried to move my eyes in a way that told him to just leave, but he didn't. He just stood there.

Orochimaru threw me behind him, and though I tried to twist myself to land on my feet, I miscalculated the distance I had and I slammed my back into a tree. "A powerful team," He spoke, "A boy with a demon inside him, a girl with more power than she lets on, and the last survivor of the Uchiha Massacre." No one moved as he spoke. I tried to call chakra to heal my back but found it hurt too much to move my arm. I still struggled to do so, clenching and unclenching my fists to try and get used to movement. I needed to get over there.

Somehow, Orochimaru had gotten a hold of our scroll and held it up. It slowly burned as he held it in front of us. "My name is Orochimaru," He spoke, "As for what I want, you won't find out until we meet again, which you can't do until you complete this test with the highest score." He eyed Sasuke as he spoke, not once looking in my direction. I managed to move my arm to the small of my back and begin healing. "First you will need to defeat the sound ninja that work for me."

As soon as I was healed I leapt up, threw Naruto's unconscious body and grabbed Sasuke's wrist, pulling him in the opposite direction. I heard Orochimaru's chilling words, "And we will meet again." Before I felt Sasuke violently pull back from my grip.

I didn't want to turn, but I forced myself to. Naruto fell from my grip and hit the forest floor, something I might start to feel sorry for later, but right now I was too focused on Sasuke's frozen form, and Orochimaru's teeth that had sunk into his neck. Orochimaru pulled away, and Sasuke gripped his neck, shaking in pain. I rushed forward, forcing his hands away from it and placing my own, hoping to heal some of the pain. But, as soon as I tried, he gave a tortured cry, and I immediately stopped, settling instead to wrap my arms around his neck. I looked up in time to see Orochimaru sink into the tree branch, smirking victoriously. "Until we meet again," He said.

I could feel Sasuke trembling violently in my arms, and I hesitantly tightened my grip, threading my fingers through his hair and rubbing his back, trying to sooth him. His arms very slowly and very shakily made their way around my back, before suddenly clutching me to him with surprising strength. I felt his fingers dig into my back, and I knew there would be bruises afterwards, but I let him cling to me and continued to attempt to comfort him. His grip didn't loosen until he was unconscious in my arms.

* * *

When I finally had the boys hidden away and was working to take care of them as they slept, I felt ashamed. I felt like I had failed. And maybe I had. No, I definitely had. It was starting to wonder if that witch was nothing but some random bitch with a sick sense of humor who wanted to see me squirm. Because honestly, what was the point of getting sent back if I couldn't change a _damn_ thing?

Thinking about the witch made me incredibly angry. Ever since that vague but terrifying dream, I hadn't had contact with her. I went to bed hoping for dreams that can tell me something, anything, and I never got it.

But I needed to be calm. Eyeing the sleeping boys, I wondered if I would be too distracted from them if I were to try and meditate. I remembered trying to teach Naruto to meditate and he had fallen asleep sitting up. I smiled slightly at the memory. No, I thought, I couldn't fall asleep. But I had meditated plenty of times without sleeping. And I did need to be calm and collected for when those sound-nin arrived.

But…maybe…If I could contact the witch when meditating, I could get answers. Was that possible? I wasn't sure but I figured it was worth a try. I crossed my legs, closing my eyes and concentrating on her face. It was hard to meditate when I was thinking of her, but I managed to clear my mind of anything else. I created myself a peaceful clearing, not in the forest of death, but something like the one I had met her in during my last dream of her. I pictured her on the far edge, just standing there. Facing away from me.

When she began to turn toward me without my picturing it beforehand, I assumed it had worked.

"It's been ages since someone has managed to contact me," She spoke. Her voice had a bell-like quality that fit the scene I had set, but not her looks. "Let alone wanted to."

"I'm done playing games with you," I spoke clearly, standing on the opposite side of the clearing, "What do you want?"

"I want someone to—"

"I know that much!" I cut her off, clenching my fists to calm myself, "What do you want with Sasuke?"

"I already told you he is of little consequence." My eyes narrowed.

"But your using him as collateral," She gave me a bemused glance, so I continued, "That day on the bridge. He nearly died. That didn't happen the last time. You're using him as a threat so I do what you want." She scoffed, rolling her eyes, but when she looked at me she gave pause.

Then she started laughing. "You are serious, aren't you_, little girl_?" I frowned at her, refusing to say anything else. "I had nothing to do with that boy's death. "

"You lie." I replied, glaring at her.

"You think I am a liar as well as a murderer?" She questioned, looking entirely too pleased with this conversation. "I do not lie," She spoke, "But perhaps you are right. Perhaps it is time to give you answers. If you ask the right questions." I frowned at her words.

"Who do you want me to kill?" I asked, and she gave that frightening grin again.

"See," She began, turning to face me fully for the first time during this whole conversation, "I cannot simply tell you." I was ready to argue with her, but she held up a single hand to silence me. "Do you realize how much hate one requires to kill?"

"I have killed before."

She laughed once again, "You kill for kindness and to preserve your life. You haven't killed to simply kill before."

"Then why choose me?" I asked, allowing my voice to sound desperate. There was no use hiding anything form her anyway.

She smirked, walking towards me, "Opportunity. You are not hateful by any means. You couldn't kill out of hate by any means." She stopped a polite distance from me, but even then it was too close. "But people can kill out of love." Her grin returned to her face, as terrifyingly gleeful as ever, "I won't tell you who it is, because that will only cause harm. I plan to show you every reason why this man must die, and then, once you understand, I will reveal him. You are a smart girl_, little one_," Her voice was practically a coo now, "And though I won't give you a name, I will give you my reason."

Her face suddenly dropped, looking angry and sad and scared and apathetic all at the same time. "You will see soon enough that I am really no one to be feared." She paused, raising a hand to my head. I wanted to flinch away, but found myself unable to move, "Not anymore."

Then everything went white.


	10. One Man's Past is Another Man's Future

**Okay, so, last chapter I forgot to mention that the sister story is out! Only one chapter, kind of boring so far, but it's going to get a whole lot more interesting. I was going to work on that chapter before this one but I figured considering I left off on something of a cliff hanger…if any of you were looking forward to the fight with the sound nin…that's not this chapter. So…sorry to disappoint. BUT YEAH Sister story is out there, if you guys are interested, go ahead and take a look :) **

**OKAY So a big big big thank you to my reviewers because you all make me so very happy; Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, romyblossom, redxcherrie, Sakura'sGhettoInner, PockyPaint, Animelover XD, Jane Odair, BloodyGirl, Demon-Child-XIII, RinDey, LoverForAnime, Black snake eyes, and a couple anonymous as well. Thank you very much for reviewing!**

It started in a small room, with a small bed in the center, and a young black haired girl crying. An old woman lay there, breathing very faintly, watching the young girl as she wept. I ached to console the girl, but I knew they couldn't see me. I was standing just behind the young girl and the woman hadn't noticed me.

"Hush, Young one," The old woman spoke softly, stroking the girl's hair. "This is the way it must be."

"But I don't want you to go!" The little girl wailed, clutching the old woman's hand. The old woman simply shook her head, waving her hand for a large book to appear, and she handed it to the small girl. The girl shook her head violently, shoving it back into the woman's arms.

"Little one," The old woman spoke, "Little one, Anika, Shush." The little girl stilled, staring up at the woman's aged face. "This will always happen. My time is up."

"But it doesn't have to be!" The little girl, Anika, spoke. "I don't want to do this. Not if it means you have to go."

The old woman smiled, sliding the book back to the girl, "We always have to let go of something we love." There was a beat of silence, before the little girl took the book from the old woman's hands, and the old woman laid down, let out a long breath, and stilled. The girl sat there, book in her lap, tears in her eyes, before she stood and walked out of the room.

There was a jump, of sorts, something like a time-skip, and the little girl was there again. Not much older, but a bit taller than normal. She didn't have the book in her possession, it seemed, and she sat on the side of a road just outside of town.

A man stood in front of her, leaning down to speak with her. I couldn't hear words, so I neared them, leaning by the girl to try to see the man's face. His face was like a distant memory, like when you can't quite remember someone's face and the features keep changing.

"They don't like me here." The little girl spoke, "Because they know what I am. I don't hide it."

The man nodded, smiling slightly, "Can you show me what you are?"

The little girl nodded, waving her hand and showing him her book. He reached out to touch it, but she pulled it back, "You cannot destroy it." She said, "Not yet. Granny used to say that only we knew the ways. But I don't know." The man nodded.

"Have you been alone since your grandmother left you as the successor?"

The little girl nodded solemnly, and the man smiled again, "How would you like to be somewhere you can help?" The girl stared up at him skeptically, so he continued, "I can take you in. You can help me. If you are on my side, surely I would be unbeatable." He flashed her a grin, and a slight blush lit up her cheeks.

"I am not that powerful."

"Ah," He spoke, "But you could be." She lifted her head to meet his eyes again and he held out a hand for her to take. With a wave the book was gone, and the little girl took his hand. It was her grin that alerted me to who she was. White teeth, straight, with pointed tips.

Another jump, and I was in a training area. The girl was older now, pretty, in a very dark sort of way. Black hair, glossy, falling down her back, dark, deep set eyes, very pale skin, and a tall, willowy figure. The resemblance to the witch I knew was there, but she looked nothing like the skeleton the witch was when I met her.

She was doing physical training when the man walked in again. She froze, whirling around to see him. She looked at a loss for words, glancing frantically around the room and trying to grasp for words.

"I want to see how your magic has improved." Was all he said, walking up to her as she gaped at him.

"Are you not angry with me?" She asked, staring up at him wide-eyed.

"Is that an apology?"

Her expression darkened, looking off to the side and refusing to meet his eyes, "You should not have sent me on that mission if you wanted him alive. You know how I feel about others of my kind." He nodded, taking her chin in his hands and forcing her to look at him.

"Training. Now." Was all he said and a blush lit up her cheeks when he turned away. She quickly summoned the book.

"What do you want to see?" She asked, turning to him. He watched her from the opposite side of the room.

"I want to see just how indestructible that book is." He spoke, and her entire body froze. She very cautiously turned to look at him.

"Why?" She asked suspiciously.

"To ensure your safety of course," The man spoke, "To make sure that nothing can destroy that. You told me you are essentially powerless without it. "

"Yes, that is true…" She said, "We need contact with our book to cast spells, or at least the paper, though the paper only allows for one casting. Only simply things can we do without it."

"Then we will ensure your safety." He said, coming closer. He placed a single hand on the book, "We will see what this does."

His hand lit up in green flames, and the witch fell to the ground screaming.

Another jump, and I found myself in a very dark room. I couldn't see much save for the crumpled silhouette on the floor in front of me and the small barred window to the left. I could hear the steady _drip, drip, drip_ of water falling onto the cement floor. The figure on the ground didn't stir. I wondered if they were dead.

Suddenly the door swung open, and the light blinded me. I heard the shuffling of feet, a few barked out orders that I didn't quite catch, and my vision cleared just enough to see them dragging the figure out of the cell, and, like a dream, I suddenly found myself in a dimly lit room. It was very simply furnished, with an armchair beside a table at the far side and a fireplace along the wall. Against the wall opposite the fireplace sat the figure from the dark cell. I could see their legs illuminated in the dim light, but the rest of them were cast in shadows.

The door behind me opened, and I went to jump out of the way to hide, but they literally walked right through me. Flinching almost violently, I watched as the man strode into the room.

The figure on the floor snarled and jumped for him, and she was suddenly illuminated. It was the witch, but she looked much more like the one I knew now. Though her hair wasn't the matted mess I was graced with seeing, her face was now gaunt, and her eyes seemed to be buried in endless black pits. The man quickly dodged her and she hit the ground near the fireplace, narrowly avoiding burning her hands.

The man tutted in disapproval and I heard her growl from her place on the ground. "Why do you fight when you've already lost." He asked, locking his hands behind his back.

"I have not lost," Her voice spoke, slightly raspy but still as musical as it always was.

He grinned then, seemingly mocking her. "Tell me, what can you gain here?" He kneeled down beside her and lifted her by her chin, "I have your only chance of beating me. I could destroy it and you'd have nothing."

"You cannot destroy it," She snarled, trying to pull away from his grip, "You _cannot_. It is impossible."

He smirked then, turning and pulled up his sleeve, biting his thumb and running a streak of blood down his arm. I expected him to summon an animal or something, but instead he summoned the book. Now was the first time I got a good look at it. It was thick, with gold lined pages and some foreign writing on the cover. At the sight of it the witch leapt toward him, and he quickly cast a jutsu, and the corner of the book alit in those green flames from before. The witch fell to the ground mid-leap and began writhing in pain, letting out a scream that I gave a start at. The man covered the flame with his hand and she ceased her movement.

"Think of that as a warning of what I can do."

"Why are you doing this?" She croaked, lifting her head off the floor, "I am no help to you dead."

A smirk lit up the man's otherwise implacable features, "Evidently you are no use to me alive either. You do not follow my orders."

"I do not follow anyone's orders!" She bellowed, sounding amazingly authoritive for someone lying on the floor. "I will not be your slave simply because you hold that. I can still kill—"

"You can do close to nothing to me, and we both know it." He interrupted, placing the book on the table and opening it to a random place. He scanned the page, but when I came closer, confident they couldn't see me, I only saw unfamiliar symbols. "You brought this upon yourself." He spoke. The witch stayed silent. "If you hadn't disobeyed me." He flipped to another page, "And I suppose you might have been better off never trusting me, poor girl."

"Go to Hell." She spat, lifting herself onto her knees. He cast a side glance in her direction, before beginning that jutsu again that cast his hand into green flames, reaching toward the book he ripped the page out and she winced, falling back onto her hands. He crumpled the page in his hands as the strange flames engulfed it, and the witch whimpered on the floor.

He threw the page to the side, leaving it to burn, and she blindly patted down the paper, "Make it stop burning, make it stop," He said nothing but continued to flip through the book, "_Please_,"

With the ghost of a smirk, he made a single hand sign and the paper stopped burning. Her shaking hand reached out to grasp the remains of the paper and she pulled it closer to her. The man began to speak again. "That man needed to be brought to me alive. You blatantly disobeyed my order because of a personal grudge. So I blatantly disregard your trust because of a personal grudge as well. Poetic justice, wouldn't you say?"

"That man was better off dead," She growled, clutching the paper in her hand.

"Only to you," He growled, clutching the edges of the book, "He could have worked for me,"

"He would not have," She laughed from her spot on the ground, "He would have no reason."

"You had reason."

"You found me at an opportune moment. I was the new successor and I was afraid. You took advantage." She uncurled her fist on the paper, lifting herself to sit back on her feet. "At the darkest moment in my life, you would appear as a friend. You would draw the truth of my kind out of me in order to use it to your satisfaction, to use it against me." Shakily she brought herself to stand, "Just because you have a source, doesn't mean I'm powerless. And I will get that back."

He scoffed, turning his head to face her, "And how, pray tell, will you—" She spoke some foreign language under her breath that I only caught only because I had moved to stand closer to her, then the desk in front of the man violently burst into flames. She walked calmly forward as he reared back and she grabbed the book herself. Though the flames licked the book, it didn't catch fire, and the flames simply parted for the witch. I watched in awe as she picked up the unscathed book and turned to face the man.

"Maybe you should have chosen the page you burned more carefully." While I had been lost on basically the whole idea of the book and why it was so important, I gathered that it was some sort of spell book, and the paper on the ground still had a spell she could use. It was obviously some sort of life-line, it was virtually indestructible by outside forces, like the fire she cast. So how did that man manage to destroy part of it?

She had the book in her hands now, as the man called for his guards. With the grace only shinobi could have, men filed into the rooms and prepared to fight her. I could hear the ruckus and the murmured spells but I went toward the paper, leaning over to read it. Again, it was symbols I couldn't help to understand, and though the edges were jagged, they weren't burnt. It wasn't like he was burning it into ashes. It was more like he was erasing its existence. But as I watched it, it slowly shriveled up into itself and then it was gone.

I heard a loud scream and turned to see amidst the flames the man had the book back in his possession. Looking absolutely livid, he held the book as it flickered with those strange green flames. The witch had fallen to the ground again, writhing in pain, begging incessantly for him to stop. But he didn't. All he did was drop the burning book to the ground and turn to walk away. The shinobi followed silently, as the witch writhed around on the ground.

I turned away, but I could still hear her screaming. I tried to block it out, sorting out the events in my mind. A young girl betrayed by a man who she had labeled as her savior. His power over the book was probably meant to be a control mechanism, but all it did was make her rebel more. So, when she proved to be too wild, he opted to destroy her.

The screaming had stopped, but she was shouting things in a foreign language and the book was still burning before her. I noticed she had a paper from the book clutched in her hand that was safe, and she was reading from it. The book didn't stop burning, but she stopped screaming. She laid there limply on the floor, staring blankly at the paper she had left as the book burned, and part of the paper that she had in her hand shriveled away, only leaving a strip of it left.

I gathered that she had ripped the page out while it was in her possession. She must've known she would be caught so found a spell that could help her, and used it to save herself from whatever was happening to her in regards to the burning book. She laid there until the book was completely gone, and even then she didn't move.

Everything else I saw in flashes. Staring for days on end at a spell I couldn't read. Then, I saw myself. I was watching my face off with the witch before. I saw her dig her nails into my abdomen in that countdown, and once I was gone and she was on her own, I watched as the scrap of paper faded away into nothing.

_You have until the day I met you to kill the man that I want. If you haven't completed it by then, I will not kill you. You will simply cease to exist._

_Time travel is a fickle thing._


	11. Desperation

**Okay! New chapter, finally. AND 100 REVIEWS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE UTTERLY FANTASTIC Thank you so so so so so so much BloodyGirl, Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, Animelover XD, akeginu, Sakura'sGhettoInner, ForgottenAngelOfTheShadows, Reina Kuran, Jane Odair, AdotD, .O, ShiraSakura, Nuria Sato, redxcherrie, Animelover351, and an anonymous!**

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**And I'm also going to go ahead and say that I listened to kill your heroes by AWOLNATION while writing this and it helped me so much. Just saying. **

I couldn't breathe when the vision ended and I found myself back at the temporary camp. My throat seized up in panic and I had to waste a burst of chakra to calm the constricting muscles when I began to see spots in my vision. When I finally calmed enough to breathe properly, I looked up to see that it was already morning. Time passed so quickly.

_Time travel is a fickle thing._

Shaking my head violently, I glanced back over at Naruto and Sasuke asleep on the forest floor. I had haphazardly shoved them under some shrubbery that I set up as something like a fort, so that they might be a bit hidden from view. It wouldn't help in battle at all, but it helped make me a bit more comfortable that we weren't all sitting out here in the open in this clearing.

I went through the fight that I knew was coming at least ten times in my head, trying to prepare myself. They didn't fall for any traps I sent, but now I saw it as a blessing. They see a weak genin with novice traps, go in for the kill, then receive a broken jaw. It was the plan, anyway.

A small squirrel rustled out of a bush, running towards me, and I distractedly threw a kunai in its direction to stop it from ruining any poorly set traps. I replaced a damp towel on Sasuke's head and glanced back in the direction of the squirrel. Sending a tentative sweep of my chakra, I sensed the sound ninja, just barely, just outside of the clearing.

I contemplated calling them out, but I decided it would be a better idea to await their arrival. My best bet would be underestimation. If they think I'm weak, they won't prepare for a tough fight. Then I can quickly kick their asses and keep Sasuke and Naruto safe. At least, that's what I was hoping for.

I heard them land in the clearing before they spoke. The front one who was always hunched over and covered in bandages spoke first, mocking my ability to keep my team safe. I clenched my fist, ignoring the urge to pound the ground in to show them just how not-pathetic I was.

The annoying one, Zaku, I think, spoke next, as cocky and arrogant as ever. He stated his plan to kill me and then kill Sasuke, which sent another wave of rage throughout me that I had to repress. Dosu stopped him, uncovered my trap, mocked me again, and then they all leaped toward me.

"Clearly, you have no talent as a nin—" I cut him off by punching him right in the goddamn face.

When they had leapt for me, I jumped up to meet them halfway, sending Dosu back in the opposite direction and into a tree, then I spun my body in the air, kicking Kin off to the side and chucking various weapons at Zaku. They all ended up on separate ends of the clearing. It was silent when I landed back on the ground, and Dosu was gripping at his face, more in anger than pain.

"Sorry if I broke your nose," I apologized, standing up straight, "I was aiming for your jaw."

"Oh, it's going to be fun to kill this bitch," Zaku spoke, effectively calling my attention to him to see his smirk. I was too exhausted with these exams to even smirk back.

"So I underestimated you," Dosu spoke, stepping forward and pulling his sleeve back to reveal that metal contraption on his arm, and I quickly strengthened my stance. "It won't happen again."

When he rushed toward me, I knew there was no chance of avoiding his attack, so I settled for getting him the hell away from me instead. Gathering chakra into my fist, I drew it up above my head, and slammed it down on the ground. Pain immediately shot up my arm and I had to waste even more chakra quickly healing the nerves, but it was worth it to see the way the earth cracked under my hand like it used to. Dosu stumbled, nearly falling flat on his face, and I took the opportunity to kick an overturned piece of earth straight into his abdomen. He was sent back to where he stood before, and I smirked triumphantly at the sight.

"What was that about not underestimating me?" I asked, clenching my injured fist to make sure it still moved without any pain.

"Right," He responded, "You are much stronger than you look." I was ready to respond, I had a witty reply stored for that line already, but he beat me to the chase, "Zaku. Go."

Zaku, ever the loyal servant, jumped forward smirking, knowing exactly what Dosu was planning even when I stood here clueless. He held his hands out in front of him, with the odd metal holes in his palms, and a torrent of wind suddenly came toward me, blurring my vision and making me have to turn away. I noted that Dosu was rushing toward me, and while I tried to get a kunai in my hand to defend myself, I couldn't concentrate enough to focus chakra into any part of me to do damage. I awaited his attack with his sound gauntlet, but suddenly it all stopped.

I noticed now that at some point I had dropped to me knees, and I had to look up from my place on the ground. I was both thrilled and terrified to see Lee standing there. It was almost comical the way he stood there in his bright spandex with a squirrel, of all things, on his shoulder.

But nothing about this situation as comical, I reminded myself. Nothing.

He and Dosu engaged in some sort of tussle, and while I remembered very vividly Lee falling to his knees at the (figurative) hands of Dosu's sound waves, I knew I couldn't help him. So, doing quick hand signs for a replacement jutsu, I hid myself in the outside trees of the clearing and made my way toward Kin. While definitely not weak, she was the weakest out of the three, and possibly the only one I had a chance at incapacitating. So, with some sort of satisfaction at the change of position, I pulled her back by her hair and swung her out of the clearing.

We weren't far enough away to be hidden, but we were far enough away for be forgotten for a moment. I let go of her hair and stepped back, not remembered exactly what her battle tactic was and not wanting to find out. She smirked at me, opening her mouth to speak, but I suddenly snapped at the thought of her saying anything to me, and I punched her square in the jaw.

The feel of the bone fracturing was satisfying only for as long as she stayed still, but then she was on me and it wasn't nearly as gratifying. She seemed to be going for some sort of taijutsu approach, but I was careful not to get too close to her unless I was planning to hit. I didn't want to risk getting indisposed.

The fight was a bit of a blur, honestly. It was a flurry of punches and kicks and hits and misses and curses and battle cries and then suddenly, Zaku was there. I managed to throw a rock at his arm before he could sent another tornado of wind at me, and even caught his arm and shoved a pebble in the hole before he shot it out and nearly shot it through my shoulder.

Then Kin had me pinned to the ground, similar to the last time but I was flat on the ground and she was crouched on top of me, pulling my head back at a painful angle by my hair.

"You think you're tough, do you?" She hissed, tightening her grip on my hair.

"I fractured your jaw, broke two of your ribs, severely bruised your abdomen, and I think you have internal bleeding." She pulled back on my hair sharply, and though a grunt slipped past my lips, I continued, "I think you should know I'm at least tougher then I look."

"Which isn't saying much." She growled.

"Kin," Zaku spoke authoritatively, "Let's get her back to where Dosu is."

Kin pulled me onto my back and proceeded to drag me by my hair toward the clearing, and while Zaku was distracted, and Kin thought she won, I lifted my elbow and slammed it into the ground, upsetting her balance and causing her to lose grip on my hair. I slammed my body into hers, quickly reaching up to grip the side of her head and used our momentum and some chakra to slam her temple against the side of the tree. She slumped against it, unconscious, and Zaku turned back to me, his face twisting into a furious sneer when he saw Kin lying by the tree. I prepared to defend myself, but he lifted his hands before I could, and blasted me. It lasted only a second, and then he was behind me, blasting me again and sending me into the clearing.

"Dosu!" Zaku called out, dragging Kin into the clearing, "Let's just hurry up and kill the bitch so we can deal with the Uchiha! She already got Kin!"

I saw Lee lying in the clearing unmoving, and as worried as I was for him, I had to tear my eyes away.

"She got Kin?" He sounded moderately surprised, turning to face me completely. "Do what you want."

Zaku rushed at me, but I quickly cast a replacement jutsu and hid up in the trees. This worked last time, and even though I got my face beat in, I could defend myself better now that this was all familiar. He knew what I was up to immediately, and pinpointed where I was before I did it again. He destroyed the second replacement, and I jumped down from my hiding place. He threw a kunai that imbedded itself shallowly into my abdomen and looked around, but I was on top of him before he could realize I had tricked him.

"A little help?" I wish I would've figured out what Zaku meant by that before it happened, because before I could really react, Dosu was within touching distance and sent a punch at me. It was all I could do to dodge, and then I found myself feeling the overwhelming need to curl up into myself and throw up.

Zaku sent a whirlwind at me and I was sent back into a tree. My back screamed at the impact, but before I could recover Zaku was practically on top of me. His whole body pressed mine into the tree, and his hand was wrapped around my throat. With his other hand, he gripped the kunai that was still in my abdomen and dug it further into me. I gritted my teeth, only a grunt of pain escaping. His hand tightened on my throat, sadistic glee overwhelming his features.

I couldn't breathe anymore, and soon the pain of the kunai in my abdomen wasn't felt. I started to feel lightheaded, seeing boxes appear in the corner of my vision, I struggled to stay conscious. Then, he let go, and all the oxygen rushed back into my head making my dizzy, and the pain of the kunai came back full throttle. I let out a small cry of pain on accident, and his smirk widened. Then, his hand clenched again.

He did this three more times, squeezing until the moment before I passed out and then letting go.

"Hurry, Zaku," Dosu ordered impatiently, but Zaku didn't listen.

"Scared yet?" Zaku asked, rotating the kunai in my abdomen after letting go of my neck. Much to my disgust, I let out a whimper and he looked absolutely gleeful. "Maybe I'll do this to your little friend too, after I kill you."

"If you're…" I choked when his grip tightened, but struggled to talk anyway, "trying to kill me, why are you taking so long"

"I'm savoring this," He said, leaning in closer to me, "Aren't you?"

I was ready to curse something back at him, but my vision was going hazy again and I couldn't form words. My mind was going black again before he let go of my throat and I was forced to draw in another breath as my body shook with coughs. I couldn't turn my head to see how Naruto and Sasuke and Lee were. For the brief moment my mind was back, I remembered Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were supposed to show up, but I wondered if I was even still in sight of the clearing. His hand closed around my throat again, before I had even caught my breath completely, and I was suffocating again.

It was shameful how badly I had failed. Because last time I wasn't preparing to face my death. Sure, I hadn't fought much, people had done the majority of fighting for me, and I was beat up pretty bad, but I wasn't suffocating and bleeding all over the place.

When the boxes filled my vision and he didn't stop, I wondered if he was going to let my pass out. But I didn't want to, because passing out meant death. But the boxes slowly began to take over and I was losing control of my thought. It jumped around hazy pictures and broken thoughts. And Sasuke. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke.

Then suddenly my throat was free, and Zaku was gone, and I felt myself drop to the floor and start gasping for breath, but my coughs were making it difficult.

"What—" But I couldn't say anything because coughs took over again, and I couldn't move from my spot hunched over on the ground because my abdomen was aflame with unbearable pain, and I realized the kunai was still there. I weakly pulled it out and threw it to the side. Looking up, my mind began to piece together my situation.

Sasuke, chakra swirling around his form, eyes red with sharingan, and half of his body overtaken with the curse mark, practically tearing Zaku apart.

"Sas—" But I couldn't speak, because my throat was too sore. I began hacking, struggling to ignore the pain the coughing caused in my abdomen. Sasuke slammed Zaku up against a tree, and when Zaku tried to lift a hand to blast him with that wind, Sasuke simply grabbed his wrist and slammed it against the tree so hard I heard the snap of his wrist.

This was worse than the last time Sasuke beat up Zaku, because last time he fought him with a calm precision and unrivaled grace. This time, graceful as he was, he fought him like an animal. Moving around Zaku like a predator tearing apart its prey, and rather than the cool demeanor that Sasuke had fought Zaku with the last time, though his face appeared emotionless, his eyes were wide, manic, wild, and terrifyingly angry. And when he finally came to the point where he stood with his foot on Zaku's back, holding his arms, I could just darely hear him before he practically ripped his arms out of their sockets, and all he said was a single, furious command.

"Don't you _ever _fucking touch her."

"No!" I rasped, my voice sounding so terrifyingly weak, I even broke into a furious coughing fit after. He dropped Zaku to the ground, and I shakily got my hand splayed across my abdomen to sloppily heal my wound there as Sasuke made his way toward Dosu. It still hurt like hell, and I was fully aware of the fact that I was dangerously close to turning into a sobbing, blubbering mess, and I vaguely noted that Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were here and were standing safely to the side, I pulled myself to my feet and stumbled as quickly as I could toward Sasuke.

Because all it took was a hug right?

I probably should have said something, but I knew I couldn't without going into another coughing fit, so I gripped his shoulder, and with strength I didn't realize I could muster at the moment, turned him around and threw my arms around his shoulders, burying my head in the crook of his neck. I felt his body tense, as if ready to attack me, and a sob escaped my throat without my permission, causing me to start coughing again.

"Stop," I rasped, "Don't do this. Don't you dare do this to me." I don't think he knew what I meant. He couldn't have known. Because was I was asking for wasn't for him to stop attacking the sound ninja. I don't know really what I was asking for. Maybe I was asking for him not to leave me. Maybe I was asking him to forgive me for failing to protect him. Maybe I was asking him not to give in to the hate. But whether he really understood or not, I couldn't explain to anyone the relief I felt when he pressed one hand tentatively against my lower back, and then wrapped the other arm around my waist as well, gripping me like he had when he first got the mark. Slowly, ever so slowly, I saw the marks begin to recede. He weakly slumped onto the ground, and for the life of me, I couldn't let go.

"You're strong, Sasuke." Dosu spoke, and Sasuke, pulled at my waist as if to turn me away from him, but I wouldn't let go, and after his first attempt, he settled for unwrapping his arms and I felt him shift to watch Dosu.

"I'll make a deal with you," Dosu spoke again, "I'll give you the scroll if you let us go." It was silent for a moment, then I heard Dosu lift Zaku and Kin on his shoulders. "We underestimated you. But rest assured, if we ever meet again in battle, we will not run or hide." I could hear his receding footsteps, and though I refused to remove my face from Sasuke's neck, I could feel Sasuke lifting the arm that had previously been covered in the curse mark.

"What…" He mumbled, "What am I?"

And because I knew exactly what it was, what he was, what he would do and where he would go, it was all I could do to tighten my grip around his neck and sob into his shoulder. But I took comfort in the fact that he very, very slowly reciprocated, and wrapped his arms around me slowly, as if he thought he might break me, and let his chin rest against my shoulder, and let his body relax, if only a little bit.


	12. Suspicions

**OH MY GOD THIS TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE**

**I am so sorry. I had major writers block, and…laziness…God, laziness, and procrastination, I just…SIGH I'm so sorry. Also it's not a very long chapter, and I'm terribly sorry, this whole chunin exams thing is going to be a pain to get through, BUT I WILL SURVIVE. Just...very sorry for the wait.**

**So, to my reviewers; I accidentally left out Pilar Ann in the last chapter, so special thanks to you! As for the rest of my lovely reviewers, hopefully I don't leave any out this time…**

**Redxcherrie, Archmagelite200yrs, akeginu, bbarbie325, Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, ringo-nin, Arashi-taichou, Pilar Ann, Sakura'sGhettoInner, a happy reader, XxblackxroseesxredxX, illneverknow, Demon-Child-XIII, Hollow SoulxxxxxxBroken Angel, Nuria Sato, Amaterasuice, BloodyGirl, Chikyu no Aijin, Contestshippinggirl, Jane Odair, Kisa Black, sheflirtswithstarbuckscashie rs, ChibiCHICKENluver, and a few anonymous! Thank you all so so so so so much! I always love hearing from you! I haven't replied to a lot of your reviews, I just had a lot of stuff going on that I didn't get around to it, so I'm very sorry.**

We didn't stay like that for long before Shikamaru pointed out that Sasuke's leg was bleeding, causing me to spring off of him and examine the pant leg that was soaked in blood to heal it, only to find that it was actually my blood and that the wound on my abdomen was still bleeding profusely, which caused Sasuke to shoot me the most murderous glare I'd ever seen. I lifted a hand to my abdomen and slowly, careful not to overwork myself, worked my chakra into my abdomen. But when I looked over and saw Lee unconscious on the ground, I faltered. Sasuke saw me pause, and reached out to grab my wrist, pressing my hand into my abdomen again.

"No," Was all he said, before letting go of my wrist and watching me expectantly. I frowned a bit, throwing Lee another glance, and continued with my stomach. I had enough chakra to heal up the wound until it was shallow enough to heal on its own, but I didn't have enough to heal the bruises on my neck or to stop the wound on my abdomen from bleeding completely, so I still risked infection. But, upon my request, we would look for fresh water in a stream or something that I could dip a cloth in to clean my wound and wrap it before any infection got in.

I remembered with some clarity that it was during this battle I had cut my hair off. To be honest, I had gotten used to my hair being short before, and having long hair now seemed a bit weird. Shikamaru and Chouji were waking Naruto up with some difficulty, and Ino was helping Lee to his feet. It wasn't until Tenten showed up to get Lee that I finally spoke.

"I'm thinking about cutting my hair." I said, not exactly knowing why I spoke out loud. What would Sasuke care about the length of my hair? When we were younger I heard a rumor that he liked girls with long hair, but I didn't honestly believe he really cared about that.

"Do what you want." He responded, watching as Tenten violently shook Lee to snap him back into reality.

"I like it long. My mom likes it long. I just…don't want it to be a hassle."

He surprised me when he responded, "If it hinders you cut it." He spoke, and proceeded to surprise me even more when he reached out to finger a strand. I hadn't even noticed that we were sitting only a few inches apart until now. "If not," He paused, fingering the strand a moment longer before dropping it and looking back out at the people in the clearing, "Keep it."

My lips twitched with a smile, but it was gone when I saw Ino walking in our direction.

"Hey, Sakura," She greeted, smiling at me in what I assumed was supposed to be friendly, "I have some wipes that can clean the blood off your face, if you want." I had blood on my face? "…Do you want it?"

I guess I had taken too long to respond, because she seemed annoyed now, and realizing she had an ulterior motive, I was tempted to decline. But, if she really did have something to clean my face with, I would take it. I nodded appreciatively, drawing my legs up to my chest and using the tree to push myself up. My abdomen still screamed at the effort, but it wasn't nearly as painful as before. Sasuke watched me as I stood, and I sent him a quick smile before following Ino.

At least she hadn't been lying about the face wipes, but she began swiping at my face with a bit more force than necessary.

"What's going on with you and Sasuke, anyway?" She spat. I looked over at where Sasuke sat. Naruto had come to sit next to him and was whispering something, and Sasuke just stared back at him like he was the most annoying person on the planet. Which I guess was close to what Sasuke was thinking.

"We're teammates." I replied, turning my eyes back to see her reaction. She glared at me.

"Teammates don't hug like that." Another forceful swipe and I clenched my jaw.

"He was on a near-killing-spree, Ino, I wasn't going to just sit there and watch him do that."

"And a hug was supposed to help?" I didn't answer that. There wasn't really a way to explain it anyway. "Whatever. I just don't get why he hugged you back like you were his lifeline or something."

"Oh, I'm sorry Ino," I snapped back sarcastically, pulling the wipe out of her hand and wiping my own face so she couldn't assault me anymore, "Did you _want _to see him kill everyone in that clearing? Because I sure as hell didn't." She glared at me spitefully, but didn't argue with me.

"It's gone," She finally said, gesturing to where I was wiping my face, and I nodded, crumpling up the wipe in my hand.

"Thank you."

She didn't reply, and instead turned on her heel to make her way towards Chouji and Shikamaru. But before she walked too far, she stopped and turned to me, "If you think that just because he—hey, wait, where are you going?"

I didn't want to listen to her stake her claim on her precious Sasuke-kun, so I turned around and started heading toward my team.

"Bye-bye, Pig!" I called, waving behind me, and I heard her growl in frustration.

"Billboard-brow!"

* * *

We had found a stream with fresh water and fresh fish. I cleaned out my wound and left it until my chakra had recovered enough for me to heal it the rest of the way. It was an unbelievable comfort that Sasuke and Naruto were back to acting like they always had, bickering like children. I couldn't handle it if they were as tense as I was.

We sat around the water as the fish cooked, Naruto drooling at the sight. I noted with an embarrassing amount of satisfaction that Sasuke sat closer to me than he normally would, even if it still wasn't that close. But, I squashed that hope to the back of my mind, and berated myself for fan-girling.

I found it slightly ironic that we had the scroll we'd been looking for since the beginning but we still weren't done. Considering that bastard burned our heaven scroll, we were left to search for another.

And I hadn't even had any time to think about that vision from the witch.

"We need to find the next scroll soon," I finally spoke, "There are only thirteen pairs of scrolls. Our luck is going to run out soon if we don't hurry."

"Yeah," Sasuke agreed after a short silence, "Not to mention Orochimaru—" I gave a violent shudder at his name and Sasuke eyed me warily, "—Burned our heaven scroll, that lessens our chance of finding a pair by one."

There was a long silence that stretched out among us. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but a bit uneasy due to the fact that we had one day left to find a heaven scroll.

"Ne, Sakura-Chan?" Naruto called, breaking the silence. I looked up at him questioningly, but he didn't meet my eyes.

"What is it, Naruto?"

"How did you learn to do that healing stuff, anyway?" He looked up to meet my eyes, "I mean it's really cool, but…can it heal your neck? That looks painful." Sasuke stood suddenly, claiming he was going to get water and left the clearing. I watched him walk away before sighing.

"I um…" I began, staring at the dire in front of us. Naruto grabbed one of the fish and began eating, "I just…read a lot about it, you know? And I could heal it but…it really doesn't hurt that bad and I don't want to waste chakra. But I'm sure it looks pretty violent." I sent a weak smile his way, and he grinned in return, not even questioning my reason for my knowledge.

"Well, I don't know, it looks kind of bad-ass!" He grinned, turning his attention back to his fish. I smiled in response, but I didn't say anything.

About three terribly annoying things happened in the next five minutes. Sasuke didn't come back right away, and it was taking a suspiciously long time for just getting water. Naruto began plotting to open the scroll like an idiot, and then, of course, Kabuto stopped him.

Kabuto was here again.

Sasuke finally came back when Kabuto was leaning over Naruto, is hand on the scroll, and immediately assumed he was an enemy. While Sasuke and Kabuto had a mini-confrontation, I was silently seething in the background. What was the use hiding my hatred for Kabuto, anyway?

Even if I tried to be subtle, I could not hide my hatred for him at this moment.

When it was decided that Kabuto wasn't a threat because he already had both scrolls, he was enlisted to help us find our heaven scroll. I recalled the ninja that tried to steal our earth scroll with their genjutsu, and if I was being honest, I was not in the mood for their stupid games.

"Sakura?" I was brought out of my seething, Kabuto-induced thoughts when, who else, Kabuto spoke. I almost violently whipped my head in his direction, barely managing to commandeer my expression into a blank on when I locked eyes with him. "Are you alright?"

My eyes narrowed of their own accord, "Fine," I nearly spat.

"You just seem a bit lost in thought is all." He said, smiling tentatively at me. I managed to keep my face blank, but thousands of questioned were running through my head. Why the hell was he ever talking to me? And, as well as having the gall to actually speak to me, he was talking right beside me, while Naruto and Sasuke were slightly behind us. "You're hair," He started casually.

"Natural."

He made a hum of understanding, "It's a bit ostentatious for a ninja, don't you think?" He asked, still smiling at me.

"I'm sorry, are you questioning my abilities as a ninja?" I questioned, keeping my voice deadpan. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

"No! No, I wasn't questioning your abilities, Sakura-san," His hand reached out to gently touch my arm, an action that, for as gentle as it was, caused an exceedingly terrified reaction from me. My entire body tensed up when his hand made contact, but if he noticed, he didn't pull away, "Sakura-san, I'm sure you—"

"Why are you touching me?" I snapped, barely managing not to pull my arm away. Something flashed in his eyes, something I couldn't catch before his eyes were blank once more, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were anger or annoyance.

"Sakura." Turning back, I saw Sasuke gesture for me to fall back with him. Kabuto let go of my arm, turning forward and leaping up to the trees to lead us to the tower and I stopped long enough to be in line with Sasuke before following Kabuto's lead and jumping from branch to branch.

"Don't talk to him." Were the first words to leave his mouth, much to my surprise.

"Not like I want to," I defended, "But why?"

He didn't reply, and I accepted that was all I was going to get from him. I focused back on Kabuto, only to find him watching us out of the corner of his eye. In my brief anger at his blatant eavesdropping, I lost my footing and nearly tumbled out of the tree, but Sasuke slipped his arm around my waist, stopping to right me on the branch.

"Sakura-san," Kabuto spoke, and I looked up to see that he and Naruto had stopped for a moment, looking back at Sasuke and I. "You ought to be more careful." Then he turned and began trekking forward again.

"Oh, I'll show you careful," I muttered angrily.

"Sakura." Sasuke warned, and I briefly noticed that his hands were still on my waist, "Don't." I nodded, looking back at Kabuto and Naruto's retreating backs. Much to my displeasure, Sasuke's hands slipped away from me and we resumed speed, catching up to our teammate and our other, temporary teammate.

It was then I realized we were already in the genjutsu.

Now, either these genin were really fucking good at genjutsu, or I still sucked as a ninja, because I could not for the life of my pinpoint where the genjutsu ended and where reality began. We had already circled back to that giant bug that Naruto had impaled with a kunai and Kabuto had pointed out that we were already in the genjutsu, and I almost rubbed in his face that I knew about fifteen minutes ago but I didn't want people asking me why I didn't say anything.

In the blur of everything that happened next, all I really remember was that clone showing up of the ninja with the metal mask on his face and Naruto's attempt at hitting him only causing the clone to grow another torso right out of his back like some crazy Hydra shit or something. Then, before we knew it, we were surrounded by these clones in a genjutsu we couldn't get out of, not knowing where the original people were.

I distinctly remembered Naruto showing off his insane amount of chakra by repeating his shadow clone jutsu over and over without dying from chakra exertion, before we finally beat them, but I honestly wasn't in the mood for anything to take that long.

"Kabuto, shut up," I cut in when Kabuto was trying to explain something. His head snapped towards me and he stared at me as if I just killed his newborn, "I'm going to do something; hopefully it'll weed them out, everyone just…wait."

"Sakura-san, you can't just—"

"I'm sorry, didn't I just tell you to shut up or something? I'm not too keen on taking advice from someone who's failed this seven times." His jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything else. Gathering chakra into my hands, I swung them up above my head and slung them down on the ground. The earth shook and crumbled beneath our feet and the trees swayed, but not enough to actually throw someone out. Gathering more chakra, careful not to overwork it, I slammed down on the ground again. The trees shook violently, and while the clones were virtually unaffected, the genjutsu faltered and the three ninja came tumbling into the clearing.

"Sakura…" l looked up to meet Naruto's wide eyes, "That…was…AMAZING." I wasn't aware his voice could get that loud.

I gave a sheepish grin, "I, uh…read a lot."

"So," One of the ninja's spoke, his voice sounding tinny and mechanical through his mask, "The girl can throw a few powerful punches. But you've already seen that strength doesn't do much with these clones." I imagined the ninja was grinning as he multiplied the number of clones. Naruto matched his amount and they began a brawl. Kabuto, Sasuke, and I all stood on the outskirts of the fight.

"Sakura!" Kabuto scolded from my left. I narrowly avoided rolling my eyes, instead focusing on Naruto phasing right through a clone in his attempts of attack, "That was careless, what if—"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Kabuto." I rebutted, "Would you rather sit here helpless and wait for their genjutsu to be over? We're on a bit of a time crunch here." I saw him frown in the corner of my eye, before he joined in the fight with Naruto.

Gritting my teeth in anger, I gathered chakra in my fists to pound the ground again, hoping to upset a few clones, but found my chakra supply running low. I'd have to keep a close eye on that if I—

A grunt from my right pulled my attention towards Sasuke, who was clutching his neck, Sharingan in action. "Sasuke," I meant to scold him, but his name ended up coming out pretty breathless as I reached out to grip his arm. "Stop using your Sharingan if it hurts you so much." I tentatively pressed my fingers against his mark, hoping my cold skin might soothe the pain. I was satisfied to see him relax slightly, but he didn't release his Sharingan.

"The real guys are under ground," He finally spoke, not turning to look at me. I looked up in time to see Kabuto thrown to the side by one of the shinobi, and soon the three of them had closed in on him. I called to Naruto to warn him of his presence near Kabuto, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Kabuto and the three genin. The genin were inexplicably backing away from him slowly, even as Kabuto remained sprawled on the ground, and with a closer look I realized his eyes were red.

Damn it, was I the only one to notice these things?

Naruto finally clued in and came to Kabuto's 'rescue' by punching the genin in the face and sending them to the ground in a pile. He fished out their scroll, a heaven scroll, the one we needed.

I found I couldn't share in Naruto's joy in finding the scroll when Sasuke was standing there clutching his neck the way he was. I found that all I could think about was the future forms of that curse mark, and felt much more terrified than relieved.

"Sakura." I hadn't noticed that we had started moving again until Kabuto said my name. I also hadn't noticed he was standing right in front of me until that moment, and it was all I could do to not punch him in the face.

"What?" I had meant for it to sound simply inquisitive, but it came out a harsh snap, and I saw the corners of his eyes tighten. I assumed he wasn't amused.

"I apologize." He said, "I underestimated you. And I scolded you for something that—"

"Yeah, okay, cool." I guess that wasn't a good response, because I saw his eyes narrowing, but I had turned my attention to Sasuke already. Ignoring Kabuto when he spoke my name again, I worked my way up to Sasuke, catching him by the elbow.

"Do you need help?" I asked, finding that I had to bend my head down to catch his eyes, which were focused on his feet.

"No." He spoke, and normally I would've been annoyed, but I guess I was exhausted enough to fool myself into finding some sort of softness in that refusal, like he was simply saying he was okay because he was actually okay, not because he didn't want me, and I let myself be satisfied with that. I did, however, gather a very small amount of soothing chakra into my fingertips, and wedged my hand under his to press them against his neck. I smiled when his shoulders dropped, losing their tension. I knew I couldn't heal the bruise without it hurting him more, but I could still try to ease the pain a bit.

"Sakura." I was beginning to loathe that voice. Really, I was. I turned back to face Kabuto, letting Sasuke walk ahead once again. Kabuto gave me a small smile that I might've found sincere if I didn't know him already.

"I just…" He faltered when I glared at him, and though I'm sure his thoughts were filled with vicious homicidal possibilities, he only looked away bashfully. Fucking bastard. "I just wanted to say you really impressed me. You are a very powerful girl, I thought you should know."

"Okay, Kabuto." I replied, keeping my voice even when I considered he might find my hostility suspicious. "Thanks."

He nodded, but when I turned to catch up to Sasuke again, I felt Kabuto grip my arm, much tighter than necessary. "I wonder," he continued, his voice sounding so innocent I nearly threw up, "Where you learned such attacks."

I realized with terrifying clarity that he was digging for information, and I had to force myself not to tear my eyes away from his for fear of looking suspicious. His eyes bore into mine, and he went so far as to lean into me, looking as if he could find my deepest, darkest secrets by just staring. And against all better judgment, I found myself fearing that he could.

There was a thump, and we both turned to see that Sasuke had fallen to one knee, gripping his neck. I was able to rip my arm away from Kabuto's hand and quickly made my way to Sasuke's side. I slipped my arm around his waist, and his arm quickly wound around my shoulders, his hand clutching my shoulder hard enough to bruise.

He thought I missed the look he sent Kabuto's way, but really I was just so grateful I couldn't bear to mention it. Kabuto didn't speak to me for the remainder of the journey to the base, and for that I was thankful. But I could feel him eye me the whole way, and Sasuke's painful grip on my shoulder never let up. I wondered exactly how many enemies I was going to make in this life.


	13. In Which Ignorance Just Might be Bliss

**Okay, so….YEAH. I felt so awful for not giving you guys anything for so long I wanted to get you a new chapter out today to make up for it. This is very…um…well, there's quite a bit of angst. I'm excited to hear what you guys think about this…because…well, you'll see. **

**So, to my beautiful reviewers, thank you Reina Kuran, Pilar Ann, shana176534, SakusGhettoInner, light blossom and dark warrior, Nuria Sato, Mrs Scorpius Malfoy, Blue305, Jasmine-.-Momo-Chan, Blahtoyousir, chibiCHICKENluver, and a few anonymous! Hope you guys enjoy this. **

I hadn't forgotten about the preliminaries. It was all I could think about when Iruka was summoned by those scrolls and we were brought forth to the Hokage where he began lecturing us on the third exam. Then Hayate comes and everything suddenly seems more real, not like a dream, in which everything is just passing. Kabuto ops out of the exams, if I remember correctly this wasn't the first time he'd done this in the chunin exams, and I watch helplessly as Sasuke grips his neck in pain. I know the Hokage knows of the curse mark, and for whatever reason, he lets him fight regardless.

But I knew better than to speak my piece like last time. Because I remembered with a distinctive pain in my chest that all Sasuke did in response to my worry was bite my head off. But I worried, hell, did I worry. There was a well of panic in my chest whenever I thought of what happened in the forest, and I feared the pain he'd assuredly go through now. I was terrified.

"Sasuke," No, I told myself, stop it. Stop talking, Sakura, stop talking, you're only going to ruin whatever it is you've finally gotten out of Sasuke, stop talking, stop talking now, stop it, stop talking.

He only turned so I could see his profile, to show he was listening, but he hadn't turned around completely.

"You can't—" I stopped myself when I saw his eyes narrow, and he turned more to face me. "Sasuke, it's dangerous, especially for you when—" Again, I stopped. The look on his face was so furious, I could hardly continue. Before I could control them, tears welled up in my eyes. "It's not that I doubt you can do this," I said, and he relaxed a fraction of an inch, "I know you can," He relaxed a bit more, and his glare lost its intensity, "I'm just afraid that you can." His brow furrowed, but not in anger, "Because…What happens to you then?"

"Sakura—"

"No, Sasuke, you know there's something dangerous about that—that—thing, on your neck, and what happens if you do get through this, to you? What happens to you?" He opened his mouth to speak, but I couldn't stop my current torrent of nonsense, "Maybe you don't know, maybe you don't remember, but what I saw, when we were fighting those sound ninja, was terrifying. Not because you ripped his arms out of his sockets, not because you were brutal and merciless, but because of what it did to change you, Sasuke, and I can't just sit here and watch it take you over not knowing what the end will be, I—"

Suddenly, I felt the warmth of his hand break through my panic, and his thumb fell to press against my lips, effectively silencing me. I registered somewhere in my mind that his hand was rested against the side of my jaw, his fingers curling pleasantly around the corner of my jaw, but I was too distracted by the glare he was sporting to fangirl over the possible intimacy of the gesture.

"Sakura," His voice didn't match his face, not really. There wasn't annoyance, or anger, more like he was speaking to a small child, someone who just didn't understand.

And maybe I didn't.

"I told you before," He spoke quietly, "I walk the path of an avenger. I couldn't care less if I become a chunin or not." I would've opened my mouth to cut in, but his thumb was still pressed against my lips and I found in its presence I couldn't find the will to move, "I want to be the strongest I can be. In order to do that, I need to fight the strongest, and the strongest are all here. And nothing you or anyone else can do will distract me from that." His eyes were hard, cold, and I found myself desperately wanting to look away, but I couldn't. His words struck a chord of desperation in me, like there really was nothing I could do to stop this. Like I was helplessly standing here watching him as he sold his soul. It was the desperation that drew me to action, as I reached up and wrapped my hand around his arm, drawing my thumb across the inside of his wrist as I pulled it away. I noticed him freeze at the action, but continued nonetheless.

"Then, can you tell me something?" I asked, staring down at his hand, which was unmoving, rather than his eyes. "You promised me once…" I swallowed a lump in my throat, "That you would keep me safe." I stayed silent until I found the courage to look back up and meet his eyes, "Does that still stand?"

I searched, my god, I searched for a reaction. Any reaction, even if it was disgust, at least I'd know where I stand, but I found nothing. He stood there and stared at me, some completely unreadable expression on his face, and he just said nothing. Then finally, slowly, he pulled his hand away from mine, and turned around to face Hayate, and didn't say a word.

I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but a painful emptiness. Somehow, I knew the answer would be no.

* * *

I couldn't watch the fight. I wouldn't watch the fight. Or at least, that's what I told myself…as I watched the fight.

I didn't need to watch it, I remembered it very vividly. His opponent, Yoroi Akado, was probably the worst opponent Sasuke could have in his current state. But of course, considering Sasuke always pulls through, he pulled out Lee's move and beat Yoroi in a surprising amount of time, especially considering he was still suffering under the curse mark.

Oh God, the curse mark. I nearly cried when he shoved back the effects of the curse mark. It reminded me that he wasn't under its power yet. He was still denying its affects, and it gave me more hope than anything ever could, even if he outright told me he wouldn't go to Orochimaru.

The next fight was with Shino and Zaku, and as much as I could love to watch Shino beat Zaku, I needed air. Or something, I just needed to get out. "Naruto, I'm going to go get some air."

He turned his attention away from the beginnings of the fight to frown at me, "Sakura-Chan? What if you're next?"

I shook my head. I knew I wouldn't be next, but I just said, "Come get me when this fight is wrapping up, okay? Then I'll come back in." I gave him a weak smile, which he returned with a grin.

"Okay, Sakura-Chan!" He said, giving me a thumbs-up.

I found myself walking through a dimply lit corridor that I think may have led to the restrooms. It wasn't exactly fresh air, but at least it was free of the stench of blood and sweat. Mostly. I leaned against the wall to my left and rested my head in my hands. This was too much.

_And nothing you or anyone else can do will distract me from that._

I shook my head violently, trying to will away his voice from my mind. Stubborn tears made their way to my eyes and nothing I could do could hold them back, not now that I was alone. Not now that I didn't have anyone to watch me. I never could hold myself together long enough to have time alone. That's why when Sasuke left I surrounded myself with people.

I think that may have been when I fixed my friendship with Ino. Because she shared my pain. Maybe it wasn't quite as intense as mine, I don't think she ever truly loved him like I did, but she was still distraught, and we helped each other. We were always together, and her presence alone gave me reason to keep myself together.

But here, in this corridor, knowing the future, knowing the pain, and not having any power to change it, I felt so utterly helpless I couldn't contain the tears. I felt alone, and for good reason. I was mentally about six years everyone's senior, and I couldn't tell anyone. Even if someone did believe me…it was bad enough with one person knowing the future.

And besides, I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone, not even my worst enemy.

This thought somehow brought me to the witch. I felt something for her now, something other than hatred. Maybe it was pity. Maybe sympathy. What was her name? Anika. A beautiful name for a once beautiful girl.

The man. I couldn't place him. His voice changed more than once during the vision. When she first met him, it was deep, smooth, like honey, or chocolate. And then later, when he spoke to her in the training room, it was higher, chilling. It certainly wasn't a voice I wanted to remember, but the familiarity of it kept it at the forefront of my mind.

And her book. Surely she wanted me to kill the man before he could destroy her book, so why give me until the day we met? Unless that was the point of the spell.

My head snapped up, not because of any outside source, but because I thought it might make sense. The book was in a foreign language I couldn't understand, but it would make sense for the spell to include the intent of the caster, wouldn't it? So killing the man is required within the spell, and if I were to fail, so would the spell. And if the spell fails…

"Then when I get back to where it all began, it'll close, incomplete, and when it goes, it'll take me with it…" I frowned. This fucking magic was so beyond my logical thinking I was ready to bash skull in with the nearest blunt object.

"Hey!" A girl's voice called out, and I instinctively pressed myself into the shadows. "Who's there?" I turned my eyes to the source of the voice, and saw at the end of the hall was Kin. My eyes widened, and I quickly masked my chakra in attempts to stay hidden. After a moment's silence, she turned away.

I should've left. Really, I should've. But when I realized that Zaku was fighting in there and they weren't watching, I figured this must be , ignoring all common sense, I neared them, straining my ears to hear their voices. Was it Dosu with her?

"That Uchiha boy…it's no wonder Orochimaru-Sama was interested in him." Yes, that was Dosu.

"Yeah," Scoffed another voice, this was Kin, "His whole team is annoying. Especially that pink-haired bitch."

"It's understandable you would be angry, she did best you." I smirked at that.

"She didn't best me." Kin responded angrily, "She got lucky, the sneaky bitch, if I fought her again, I'd win."

"I'm sure you would," Dosu monotonously replied, "And the third teammate. He carries the nine-tails."

"Really?" Kin replied, "They are a strong team then…"

There was a beat of silence, before Kin spoke again, "Orochimaru seems to be recruiting a lot. Think he's preparing for something?"

"Possibly a war," Dosu spoke, "No doubt if that is what he's preparing for, he'd be the instigator."

"But really, we've had a lot of new people come, on top of that girl he's had hidden away for years."

Girl? I thought. Interesting, I didn't know Orochimaru had a secret girl with him.

"Yes, he is."

"Was the girl not good enough?" Kin pressed, "He puts her on all these solo missions, but doesn't rely on her enough to just keep her. What's with that?"

"I suppose this girl isn't fit for what he's intending with Sasuke. You know Orochimaru always has his reasons." Dosu spoke quietly. There was a long, very long, beat of silence, and I began to slink away. But just before I was out of earshot, I hear Kin mutter five words that made my blood turn cold.

"I heard she's a witch."

I froze in place, finding I no longer could move my legs. I heard their footsteps as they began to leave, and I knew they were walking in my direction. I scrambled backwards, tripping over my ankle and crashing into the wall, before masking my chakra and holding my breath. It was dark enough that they walked past without noticing me. I held my breath long after they were gone, and suddenly I found myself on my knees. I wasn't sure when I collapsed.

"Sakura-Chan!" A voice called out. In the haze of my mind, I dully noted it was Naruto. "Sakura-Chan! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you! I kind of forgot to come get you after Shino's fight, and then they had the next fight, and now you're names on the board, you need to go now!" His speech was rushed and I could hardly understand him. But I did. I just couldn't move.

"Come on, Sakura-Chan!" He said, hoisting me to my feet and dragging my out to the arena. He pushed me lightly at the stairs and I walked down them unsteadily. Ino already stood in the center of the floor, smirking at me.

"Thought you wouldn't show up for a minute there, Forehead."

I couldn't respond. My mouth was suddenly terribly dry.

The fight started. I vaguely noticed that Ino charged, and felt a slight pain in my jaw that I couldn't process completely through the numbness of my mind.

_I heard she's a witch…._

…_heard she's a witch…_

…_A witch…_

_I heard she's a witch._

Orochimaru. Orochimaru was the man. It all made sense now. He came to her when she was weak, like he always did, he came and recruited her and through some twisted, scary logic, she fell for him. That was the voice, the one that chilled me and stuck in my mind, it was him. His snake-like eyes and pale, lithe body filled the place of the shadow that had worked as a place holder in my mind.

I think I had taken hit after hit from Ino without doing anything. I couldn't feel them, I could hardly even see through my shock. All I could do was picture Orochimaru in that vision, and I was disgusted with how obvious everything was.

That's why she chose me. Because my life was tied in so intimately with Orochimaru's because of my relationship with Sasuke. The relationship that was effectively severed by Sasuke's own hand, but it was there at some point. And she believed the love I felt for Sasuke could lead me to kill. Kill Orochimaru.

Kill out of love? That's what she called it? Because I still called it hate.

"Sakura-Chan!" I heard a voice call, and I barely managed to put together that it was Naruto, "What the hell? What happened to the Sakura in the Forest of Death? What are you doing? You can beat her no problem, what is _wrong _with you?"

And Naruto. He was so innocent. He didn't realize. He didn't understand what would happen to him and to us and _to Sasuke_. No, he couldn't possibly understand. And that Witch, _Anika_, she thought she could play with this?

Suddenly, I was seeing red. Didn't that witch realize what she'd done? If I had known, if I had realized, I could have killed Orochimaru in the forest. I could have made it explicitly obvious to our team the importance and…we could have done it! It would all be over! And now Sasuke is the same, because I thought we should run, and now everything…

Everything is the same.

Suddenly, it wasn't Ino anymore. It was the Witch. With her sharp teeth and pale, sickly skin. And she was laughing. She just _kept laughing_. I threw a punch, and another, and a kick, and I picked her up by her filthy shirt and threw her to the side, but she got up and kept laughing. A terrifying chorus of bells that only made my heart sink deeper and deeper into red.

"You can't save him now." She sang, and I realized I must be going crazy, because she wasn't here, she couldn't be here, she could only ever be in my head, but I couldn't care enough to stop. I charged at her, throwing us both on the ground.

Another look, and it wasn't the witch anymore. It was Orochimaru, and it wasn't her laugh of tinkling bells, but his breathy, maniacal laughter that filled the air. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't do anything. He saw this hesitation, and flipped us so he was on top and threw another punch, before jumping back.

No, I thought, you can't do this. You can't _win._

And suddenly I had him by the collar, and against a wall, and I was pounding him. I couldn't stop. Some part of my mind told me,_ screamed_ at me, that this wasn't him. This wasn't the witch. This was Ino, and I was pummeling her for no reason, but I didn't want the image to fade. I wanted to see myself doing this, because I have wanted so long to do this to this man and I wouldn't stop now. Not while I could have this.

In my rage, I didn't realize he, or she, or whoever, had lifted their arm until my head snapped back painfully, and I saw gray boxes in the corner of my vision. I threw him, or her, or _it_, away from me, and heard the thud as they hit the wall on the opposite side, but I couldn't see anything else as everything went black.

But I heard his laugh. And suddenly it changed. It wasn't his laugh anymore. But a deeper, insane, heart-clenching laugh that I knew I had only ever imagined and never heard. But it didn't change the fact that I knew who it belonged to.

Sasuke's face flashed before my eyes, but before I could fall to pieces in my mind, a voice broke through the laughter and everything went black.

"…_This match is over."_


	14. Atonement

**I was inspired. By your wonderful comments. So BEHOLD. Another update :) I enjoyed this chapter so. Much. So I really hope you all enjoy it as well…there's not much action, but a lot of…feels. Lots of feels. **

**Thank you to my reviewers! Sakura'sGhettoInner, nikola, Sabi106, Nuria Sato, Bloody Girl, Purveyor of Lost Socks, cherryblossomszahime, PockyPaint, skipbeataddict, firevixen73, light blossom and dark warrior, HoleyMoley, Jasmine-.-Momo-chan, AMarionetteWithSilverStrings , yattsy, xxBrokendreamerxx, .O, and Pilar Ann! Thanks everyone!**

My whole body ached. My muscles were tightly wound and I felt like I had just had all of my chakra sucked out of me. Is that why I was asleep now? Chakra exertion? I wasn't in my bed. I knew that without opening my eyes. The sheets were too stiff and the bed was hard and springy. And the whole room smelled of antiseptic.

Oh. _Oh_.

Shit.

A torrent of memories came rushing in, and I suddenly remembered what had happened before.

"You're awake."

I snapped up in my bed, my breath all coming out in a smooth _woosh_. Taking a gasping breath to qualm my aching lungs, I looked up to see Kakashi leaning against the doorframe.

Words couldn't express my shame. I could only imagine what I had done to Ino, what everyone was thinking when they were watching. And though Kakashi's only visible eye was watching me blankly, I knew he was suspicious. Of something, I don't know what, but he knew something was wrong.

And I wasn't so sure I could hide it anymore.

"How—" I choked, "How's Ino?"

"Surprisingly," He began, "Not as bad as you." I rolled my eyes. I was throwing chakra infused punches left and right, how could she be better than me? "Because of your time in the forest, you were low on chakra. You overexerted yourself. When she hit you, it was the last your body could take. Well, other than throwing her at the wall."

I think he meant it to be a bit lighthearted, kind of a joke in light of all the terrible things he must have known were happening to me, but I couldn't take it. Before I could stop myself tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn't even move to wipe them away. I didn't speak, and neither did he, we just sat there with my ragged breathing and constantly raining tears for what seemed like hours.

"You're hiding something." He spoke, obviously trying to get me to speak. I opened my mouth, but all that came out was a strangled sob.

"Have you ever—" Another sob, "Had to do something you weren't sure you could, but if you didn't, you'd lose everything?"

If I had ever seen Kakashi confused in my life, it was nothing like this. In a nearly comical reaction, he just sat there and stared at me with the most confused look in his eye, but when I realized he had no idea what I was trying to say, it just brought a whole new wave of tears, and a wail broke through my lips before I could stop it.

"Sakura," He spoke calmly, sitting beside me on the hospital cot, "What do you have to do?"

Orochimaru. If that bastard never existed, or if that witch wasn't stupid enough to fall into his clutches, I wouldn't be here. I would be back when I was eighteen at the village, without…

Without Sasuke.

I realized, with another sob, that regardless of all of this, seeing Sasuke was almost…worth it. I wanted to kick myself for how stupid and sappy I was, because one boy who didn't give a damn about me did not make all of this worth it, but my stubborn heart wouldn't listen to my head. That's how I knew I loved him, I think. Because Ino moved on, and I—

Ino.

"How is Ino? Honestly?" I asked, forgetting that Kakashi had asked me a question and I had yet to answer.

"Fine," He said dismissively.

"No," I spat, clenching my teeth, "How is she? It's not a difficult question, Kakashi."

"Neither is mine."

I clenched my jaw and waited for his response, and after a while he gave a tired sigh. "Like I said, you were very low in chakra when you came to the preliminaries. There wasn't much chakra in your hits, so while they must've been painful—" I winced "—they weren't too damaging. Medics fixed her up good as new, save for some bruising." I let out a relieved breath, letting my shoulders drop in relief. So I hadn't hurt her too bad. "You however," He continued, "gave out to chakra exertion, which I'm sure you know is extremely dangerous."

I nodded absently, ignoring Kakashi's inquisitive eye and wrapping my arms around myself. "Yes, I know," I finally replied when he didn't say anything.

"Sakura." It wasn't just him saying my name, it was a silent command. Pushing me to tell him what was wrong, and I was so sick of being alone in this, but even as I resolved to tell him, when I met his eyes I couldn't hold back a fresh wave of tears and my throat closed up.

Because who was I to involve him in this? Sure, he was stronger than me, much stronger. He'd have a chance. But…how could I tell him about Sasuke?

I fixed my eyed on my hands, writhing in my lap, and quickly came up with a good lie, but nothing came. "I just…" I bit my lip so hard that I could taste blood, "I think I'm scared from the Forest of Death. I don't know where this is coming from."

It was silent for a long stretch of time. I wanted to look at him to see what he was thinking, but I couldn't bring myself to raise my head. Instead, I ducked my head further down and clenched my fists in my lap.

"I can say you were distraught from the Forest," He finally spoke, "Then no one will worry for your mental stability from that fight you had with Ino. You, out of anyone, definitely have something to be distraught about."

His words should have been comforting, but knowing Kakashi for so long, they were nothing but. Because I knew they meant he didn't believe me. And it hurt me more than anything to find someone like Kakashi distrusting me. But even as he stood and left the room, I found I couldn't say a thing.

And I hated myself for that.

* * *

It wasn't long after Kakashi left that I decided I was done with that hospital room. Sitting in that room when Ino and Sasuke were both lying in cots elsewhere put a heavy weight on my shoulders that I couldn't shake off. So I found enough strength and mental stability to pull myself to the side of the bed and to my feet. I found, disregarding my stiff muscles, I didn't have much trouble standing.

I had on one of those awful hospital gowns that were open in the back, so clutching the back flaps together, I found my way to a supply closet and stole a pair of scrubs. I considered finding my way to the front desk and asking where Ino was, but decided if I did that, they might send me back to my room. I couldn't hope for them not to notice me. I had pink hair, after all.

So, that led me to checking into every hospital room on my way down the hall. There were a couple awkward situations where I barged in on someone visiting a sick relative or loved one, and I had to back awkwardly out of the room apologizing like an idiot, but mostly the patients were either asleep or simply not paying attention. Before I found Ino I opened the door to Sasuke's room, and he was sitting up in bed, gaze firmly planted on his lap, but I decided I wanted to find Ino first, so I quickly shut the door.

I finally found her room, located on the complete opposite side of the hospital than where I started, and saw her examining her fingernails. She didn't notice I had opened the door. Her face was matted with shades of black and blue, and highlighted with the half-healed bruises of yellow, but there was no swelling. I found, with a choking swell of emotion I couldn't quite force down, that even with a bruised up face she was still pretty.

Which was un-fucking-fair because if the tables were turned I would look like hell and she would totally laugh at me for it.

I walked in carefully, and she looked up idly from her hand. I was ashamed at how she froze when she saw me, and I quickly took a step back. "Hey…Ino." I spoke timidly, wringing my hands in front of me.

She frowned slightly, "Forehead."

Her casual greeting gave me hope that she wasn't angry, or not too angry. "Listen, Ino, I'm…" Tears, goddamnit, the _tears_ again, "I'm so sorry."

"Oh God, forehead," she groaned, throwing her head back in exasperation, "You ruined my beautiful face for at least two weeks and now you're _apologizing_?"

I blanched, crossing the room with desperate hand gestured as I spoke, "I know, what I did was awful, but you have to understand, I wasn't fighting you, I—"

"Weren't fighting me?" She echoed, her nose scrunching in confusion, "Well then who the hell were you fighting? Because I know for _a fact_ it was only the two of us in that fight."

"Well, I—"

"Whatever," She cut me off dismissively, examining her fingernails again, "Don't care. I just know you _totally _owe me for what you did to my face, Forehead, now I look almost as ugly as _you_."

I stared at her in shock. Did she not care that I had basically tried to kill her in front of everyone? "Why…" I swallowed a stubborn lump in my throat, "Why aren't you angry at me?"

She glanced up disinterestedly, but her eyes stuck on me and she seemed to falter slightly. She suddenly gave a tired sigh, "Look, forehead," She began, before stopping and reaching up to pull my hands away from each other, which I hadn't noticed I had started writhing again. "Don't do that, it's weird." She sighed again, looking away from me. "I _was_ angry," She began, "And I'm terrified. And whoever you were fighting, I feel sorry for them, seriously, I mean _look_ at my face. But then you come in here looking all tortured and I'm not going to make it worse."

"What?" I replied, flabbergasted, "You can't…You can't do that, you _can't _take pity on me like that." She rolled her eyes, and seemed to be about to say something, but I was already on a roll, "_No_, you need to _hate_ me. You need to be angry at me. You need to yell and scream at me and _throw_ me out of your room so I can sulk back in my room and _hate_ myself just like you hate me, I—"

"Whoa, whoa…" Ino suddenly exclaimed, "I don't hate you."

There was an extremely tense silence as I stared at her, my jaw slack, "You—you don't?"

She shook her head, "No." She shook her head, "I'm _mad_ at you." She gestured pointedly to her bruised face, "But I don't hate you."

I was silent for a minute, "Well, you know," I said quietly, "You still manage to be pretty even being black and blue."

"Yeah, well, prettier than you, maybe." She spoke dismissively, examining her fingernails again. But, breaking through her cool behavior, she flashed mea mocking grin.

I watched her sit in the hospital bed examining her nails, and wondered how the hell she could forgive me like nothing when we had been rivals for years. But I remembered that even when the rivalry as pretty much sated between us, we still acted the same. Maybe even when we said we hated each other we still had that friendship. Maybe she was my best friend I'd ever had, I realized, and then I felt even worse about beating her up.

"I'm _so sorry_—"

"Oh my God, forehead, if you say sorry _one more time_, I'm going to have to bash _your_ face in, okay? So just shut up." She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. And I let myself smile in response.

"I would let you…" I murmured, letting my gaze flitter around the room. I felt a sharp pain in my arm, and turned to see her fist still half extended. "Hey!" I exclaimed, "What the hell?"

"Stop being an idiot about this! You are so annoying. I don't know what Sasuke sees in you."

That made me freeze. "What?" I replied dumbly, and she gave me a look, some kind of look like I should know what she was talking about.

"Come on, Sakura, don't act innocent."

"No, seriously, what are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes again, she seemed to be doing that a lot, "Don't think I didn't see him before the preliminaries, stroking your face or some shit, I'm not blind—"

"He was shutting me up," I murmured in defense, but she didn't hear me as she continued her rant.

"—I know attraction when I see it, forehead, and you guys have some fucked-up chemistry, you've probably _brainwashed_ him or something."

I don't know exactly what I found so funny, but I found myself bursting out laughing. And not just a short laugh or a weak one like all I could get out these past few days, but a full-on, gut-wrenching, side-splitting, cackling laughter that had me bent over against the wall gasping for breath. I heard Ino demanding what the hell I found so funny, but I couldn't respond.

It felt good to laugh again. I don't think I had laughed like this since I first came here, back in time, and if felt good to do it again. I missed moments like this, moments I used to have with Ino and Naruto and sometimes Lee is he wasn't on some quest to win my heart again, and if just felt so good to be normal for five minutes.

"I'm sorry," I heaved, "I'm so sorry, I'm fine, I'm good." Giggles still wracked my body, and while she had never joined my laughter (because really, what was funny?) She was smiling dryly at me.

"You're weird, Forehead."

"At least my face isn't tri-colored, Ino-pig," I replied without thinking, and once I realized what I said, I was ready to take it back, but she was already roaring back at me.

"Billboard-brow! I'm still better looking than you!"

Yeah, I thought, it felt really good to be normal again.

* * *

When the argument had died down, I managed to ask Ino if she knew the outcome of the fight. She smirked triumphantly, and I found myself helplessly confused for a moment, before she finally told me it was a tie.

"A tie?" I echoed, "Is that even possible?"

"Well, neither of us won, but while you were _beating the shit out of me_, I managed to get one punch in, and because of your chakra levels or something it caught you off guard and you passed out. Not before _throwing me into a fucking wall_ of course."

I nodded absently, secretly glad that the outcome was the same. I don't know what I'd do if I had to fight in the third exam, honestly. And I don't know what I'd do if _Ino_ had to fight in them.

It was soon after that conversation that I left to find Sasuke. Before I had closed to door Ino made sure to remind me to keep my paws off her man, but I ignored her as I shut the door. I found my way back to the room I saw Sasuke in, and waited by the door for a moment. I considered not going in, did he even want visitors? But in the end I squared my shoulders and opened his door as quietly as I could and stepped in.

I stood by the closed door for a while watching him, and after a moment his eyes flickered to meet mine. They took me in swiftly, systematically, and he gave a quiet scoff that somewhat resembled a laugh.

"Why do you look like a nurse?"

I looked down at my borrowed scrubs and grinned at him, "It was this or one of those open-back hospital gowns." His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Why were you admitted?"

I shrugged dismissively, "I passed out." I said, nearing his bedside and smiling weakly, "Chakra exertion."

He didn't respond with anything other than a slight downturn of his lips, so I tried to search for conversation. "They sealed you," I commented, reaching my hand out to rest it on his curse mark, but his hand clamped around my wrist before I could touch him. I froze in surprise and watched him, wide eyed, as he very slowly released my wrist.

"Yeah." Was all he said, no facial expression whatsoever. There was a bit of an awkward silence as I settled down in the chair next to his bed, before I finally found something to say.

"It was an impressive fight," I said, "I mean, since you couldn't use your chakra, and his specialty was taking chakra, it was really cool how you beat him—"

"Your rambling," He cut me off, but his sharp tone was contradicted by a small, barely visible upturn of his lips. I smiled broadly at the sight and shuffled my chair closer to his bedside.

"So, you have a month now, right? Before the third exam?" His eyes flashed to mine and he watched me as I spoke. It made me feel a bit exposed, the way he watched me, but I didn't really mind. "Is Kakashi going to train you?"

He nodded, still watching me as I smiled in response, not being able to think of anything to say. Cue the rambling.

"That's cool. I'll come see you fight! I mean, obviously I will, since I'm your teammate. Naruto made it through too, I think. I don't know who else." Lie, I knew everyone who was going to be there, "It's exciting, though, that in a month we'll—"

"Sakura." He spoke suddenly, and I snapped my eyes back to him to find him watching me, a slightly more noticeable smirk on his face.

"Right, rambling, sorry." I murmured, looking away and examining the small hospital room. There was a long silence that I found awkward as hell but I don't think he minded in which we both just sat there, until finally he spoke.

"Do you remember when we were younger?" He asked suddenly, and I was nearly shocked enough to jump in my seat at the suddenness of the question.

"Um…What about it?"

His eyes, which had been fixed ahead of him, changed course to fix themselves on me, "You and I."

Something about that sentence made my breath hitch for every reason I knew he didn't intend, and I struggled to respond, but nothing came out. He watched me for a minute longer, before he pursed his lips, just barely, and looked back forward. I gathered he was angry that I didn't know what he was talking about, and rather than complaining about how he wants me to understand when he's being so vague, I tried to diffuse the situation.

"I don't remember much of what we were little," I admitted, "I think I was just so embarrassing whenever I spoke to you I blocked it from my mind." I smiled at him, hoping he'd appreciate the humor and stop being angry at me. His eyes had found their way back to me, like some kind of magnetic, gravitational thing, and his mouth relaxed.

"It wasn't embarrassing." He said finally, a small smirk lit up his face, "You were just really weird."

I laughed, and his eyes snapped to meet mine, like he was surprised by the sound. "Excuse me, how was I weird?"

His smirk was still in place and I found I rather liked the sight of it. "You never shut up."

"Because you never spoke!" I defended, "I was making up for your lack of speech."

"I might have said something if you stopped talking." He replied, surprising me by how quickly he came back, and I wondered if he felt comfortable around me. I never really had a moment like this with him. I'd only ever witnessed the witty banter between him and Naruto, and that would only last a couple turns before Naruto would get frustrated and call Sasuke a bastard before leaving in a huff.

"I like you like this." I said, my mind not exactly catching up with my mouth until after I said it, and I bit my tongue, hard. If he was shocked by my admission, he didn't show it, and I realized I was on the edge of my seat, leant forward as much as a natural position would allow, and I wondered why he hadn't pushed me away yet. I wasn't really too close, there was still about a foot between us, but this was Sasuke, and his personal bubble was a bit oversized.

_And nothing you or anyone else can do will distract me from that. _

I bit my lip, trying to force the memory out of my mind. I didn't want to think of that now, not while I was making progress, not while he was being human, I couldn't distract myself.

"Sakura." I was a bit surprised with how much he sounded like Kakashi in the way he could say an entire command in just one word, one name. But I liked the way my name fell just a bit more from his lips than Kakashi's.

"Sorry," I immediately apologized, "Zoned out." He nodded in reply, watching me intently. I gave a tired sigh, folding my arms in the space on the bed beside him and resting my head in the crook of my elbow. "I am so done with these Chunin exams. I'm glad we have a month before I have to watch you and Naruto fight. I can't take any more action right now."

I felt a tingle at my scalp, and just moved my head enough to see what was happening. He was fingering a strand of hair that had fallen in his lap, absently, as if he didn't realize he was doing it. My eyes were turned up at an angle that made them ache but I didn't want to look away. I was enjoying this too much.

"Sakura." He called, and I hummed in response. He brushed my hair off of my lap and laid his hand on my arm, shaking me lightly, "Sakura."

I sat up, looking up at him questioningly, "What is it?" I was surprised how when I looked at him now, he had none of the tranquil, peaceful aura he had before. He looked near panicked now. No, not panicked. Maybe tortured. "What's wrong?"

He watched me then, his eyes flickering over my face, like he was searching for something, or maybe memorizing something, before he finally spoke, "I don't think I'm allowed visitors."

I jerked violently in my seat, scrambling to my feet and collapsing back in my chair before managing to stand, "Oh—_Oh_, well, I—okay, I'll just—"

He let out a deep, breathy, barely-there chuckle that effectively made me lose control of my leg muscles and sent me crashing back into the chair again, but when I tried to see him chuckling, he had already stopped, and he only had that smirk on his face. The thought of his imaginary laughter from before I passed out filled my mind suddenly, and it came to my realization that I was still afraid of him. Or what he could do to me.

"Sasuke?" I called, and he waited for me to continue. I paused in my thoughts. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. My intention was to put myself at ease, but how could I? What could I say? Are you on my side? Will you protect me? Do you love me? Eventually I settled for an easy question, "Should I leave, then?"

He watched me, the same way he always watched me that left me feeling open and exposed and tingly all at the same time, like he always knew what I was thinking, like he always knew what I was feeling, and my hands clenched into fists around the sheets on his cot. He didn't notice, or at least pretended not to, but just stared at me. I tried to search his eyes, his face, to find anything he was trying to communicate, if anything, but it was all lost on me. I couldn't read him, not like I was sure he could read me.

And maybe that's what scared me. That in light of everything I was sure he knew I loved him, maybe not the last time I was with him, because I wasn't even sure then, but definitely now. And it terrified me to think that he could throw that away. Because as hard as it was questioning what could have happened between us if he had realized, it was harder to imagine him thinking the same thing and deciding he didn't care.

So this is where we stood. With cryptic questions that always held way more meaning that maybe either of us realized, and the weight of the world on both of our shoulders. I realized how much I was like him then, and I pitied the life of an avenger. Everything felt so empty when your life revolved around someone else's demies.

His eyes suddenly left mine, eyeing my hands that were fisted in his sheets. I immediately released them, following his lead and looking at my hands. I hadn't realized they were bandaged, but I wasn't surprised, with how many powerful punches I was sending, or course my knuckles would split. In my carelessness they had split open again, and the blood stained the bandages.

Before I could even faint from the shock of his action, he had my hand in his, not romantically or even comfortingly really, but curiously holding my hand in his, running his thumb over the bloody spots on my bandaged knuckles. Then, very quietly, almost so that I hadn't heard him, he finally answered.

"No."


	15. Thanatophobia

**PLEASE I'M SO SORRY JUST DON'T HATE ME ANYMORE not that anyone actually said you hated me but...I mean...it's just...**

**It's been a while.**

**So yeah, basically, I'm a terrible person, and I have no excuse. Well, kind of. Writers block hit me with INTENSITY man, I was about to die. I wrote the beginning of this chapter like 7 different ways and all SUCKED so I kept starting over and got frustrated and left it alone then school and work and now I'm doing a play and I just, I just...I'm sorry. BUT I LEFT MY HOMEWORK FOR THIS. I PROCRASTINATED ON SCHOOL WORK FOR YOU GUYS.**

**Also...My microsoft Word is definitely not working so I'm stuck with WordPad which doesn't seem to have spell check so I will try to read over it carefully to spot any typos but I do apollogize in advance for anything I might miss. And please, feel free to let me know if I missed something, I won't be offended, it will actually be greatly appreciated!**

**A BIG thank you to all of my reviewers once again! You guys are the whole reason I try to update so quickly!**

**So, on with the story!**

I was let out of the hospital that day. Well, not officially, exactly, but I managed to sweet talk/threaten/throw a temper tantrum big enough to ensure my release. I wasn't exactly proud of my actions in the hospital regarding my escape, but I was home now, with my overbearing mother and my completley apathetic father (bless his heart) and that was all that mattered. I was just so unspeakably happy that I had my own bed again.

I didn't visit Sasuke the next day. Or the day after that. I remembered quite vividly stepping into that empty hospital room, and I figured if I came again he wouldn't be nearly as hospitable as he had been when I came before. I feared the thought of him turning me away, so I didn't risk it. Unfortunately, I found new meaning to the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

I had a nightmare the second night I spent at home.

I hadn't told my mother of what happened in the forest, knowing if I did she wouldn't let me sleep alone. Or be alone at all, for that matter. So I kept it to myself so she would leave me be. I found I was beginning to withdraw into myself more after the events with Orochimaru, and hard as I might've tried to reverse it, I just kept distancing myself. As if I couldn't stop it.

So I slept alone that night. I saw Sasuke in my dream. Only briefly. He was back lighted by a sky of blazing red, and at the moment, it matched his eyes. He was terrifying, some part of me knew he was when I looked at him, simply a silhouette with glowing red eyes looming over me at my bedside, but I didn't fear him. In the silence of my dark bedroom, I found myself reaching for him. Something came to wrap around my wrist in a crushing, bruising grip, something I registered to be his hand, but he didn't stop me. I was maybe an inch away from contact with him when I suddenly found the scene had changed.

It didn't register when it changed, really. Like all dreams, things passed so quickly and randomly nothing really processed until I was awake but by then I would have already forgotten the details. It was still dark, impossibly dark. I was standing in the middle of an empty street. Shops lined the sides, but they were all closed for the night. It wasn't Konoha, but it resembled it. For reasons I couldn't explain, the deceptively peaceful atmosphere made my heart stutter. I took quiet, careful steps down the dirt pathway, and without realizing how long I was walking or which way I turned, I found myself in the forest.

Later, when I would look back on this dream, I would wonder why I didn't hear screams. In fact, I didn't hear anything. But I saw everything. No red eyes, no bruising grips, but even still red was everywhere. A different kind of red. Splattered across the tree trunks and pooling in crevices in the ground. But when I finally came back to my senses, the blood was gone. The trees were bare of any source of red, the grass was dry, but I was bent over on the mossy ground. I still felt so terirbly afraid.

The red was back, but a different red. The first red. The red that lit up the skies, and the fear slowly, painfully slow, ebbed away. I found myself staring into that same, familiar pair of red eyes, and felt that bruising grip on my wrist once more. The touch suddenly sent me careering back into my senses, and I could hear the voices behind me. None of them were familiar, and none were necessarily directed toward me, but I turned just the same. It was that street again, but this time, even in the darkness, it was filled with people. The shops were open, happy families, small children, elderly couples, they all crowded the small, formerly empty road.

I found myself turning away again, though I didn't know why, exactly. The grip increased on my wrist, and I felt something else wrap around my back, and suddenly found myself crushed against the silhouette, so sudden and painful it was as if I had slammed into a brick wall.

I woke up then, sprawled out face first on my bedroom floor beside my bed. The dream was hazy as soon as I became conscious enough to deduce I had fallen out of bed, and all I could remember was the blood, and the feeling of someone crushing me to them so desperately it hurt.

I wasn't tired anymore, and I was achy from my collision with the wooden floor of my bedroom, so I wrote a short note to leave on the counter, telling my mother I went out to train.

I found my way to my own little clearing. It was smaller than most of the others, and a bit out of the way, so it wasn't often used. I settled myself off to the side, leaning my back against a tree. Pulling my legs up so I could rest my elbows on my knees, I buried my face in my hands.

I hadn't forgotten my anger at the witch. I had tried to meditate time and time again, but in my frustrations, I found myself unable to work past the distractions. And now, after that dream that I could hardly recall that somehow, even with so little recollection, unsettled me, I was even worse off.

It took me a couple minutes of futile attempts at calming myself to realize I was crying. At this realization, I suddenly felt an intense weight on my chest and I struggled to breathe. I buried my head in my arms and let my lungs grasp for air, taking solace in the fact that I was alone.

But then the thought of solitude made my heart clench. The thought of ever being truly alone brought on a whole new wave of tears, and I found my chest going into spasms I couldn't control. I laid myself down, collapsed onto my side is a more accurate description, and curled into myself.

I don't know what I cried for. Maybe I cried for the emotions I couldn't show when I watched Sasuke's path lay itself out for the second time. Maybe I cried for Sasuke's pain, and his immobility in the hospital until he could finally slip away. Maybe I cried at the thought of being so helpless against the events of the past. Or maybe I cried for the events I knew to come, and the fear of being powerless once again against them. All I know is, whatever the reason, I found mysel unable to uncurl for what seemed like an eternity.

It had been so long since I cried, I realized. Or, not too long really, but compared to my last life, I hadn't let myself have even a moment of emotion. And when the tears finally ceased, and the spasms in my chest slowed, I felt some sense of calmness.

Slowly, painfully, as my body was still aching from the aftershocks of the breakdown, I leant myself against the tree again. I didn't wipe my face of the tears, or the dirt that I'm sure was there, but I tucked my legs underneath me and closed my eyes. I couldn't think any longer. But when I found my mind blanking out, I wasn't angry.

I let myself meditate for real for a long moment. Let myself calm down and collect myself before thinking of the witch. It took longer than the time before, long enoug that I got so frustrated with the lack of responce that I had to stop, collect myself, and start again. Then, finally, I found myself standing. And sure enough, when I opened my eyes, it was the same clearing I had met her in the last time.

"Orochimaru," I spoke, refusing to turn and face her. "That's the man you want me to kill." She didn't answer for a moment, before she let out a breathless laugh.

"You finally got it." She spoke, "I was worried you wouldn't get it in time. Now you can use that boy—"

I knew who she was talking about immediately, and the sting of my failure went straight to my heart. My chest tightened, like someone had reached inside and was gripping my poor failing heart as tightly as they could and wouldn't let go.

"You didn't tell me before?" I asked, finding my voice sounded deceptively calm, "Before all of this?"

"I couldn't just tell you." She spoke, sounding almost mournful.

"Why not?" I asked quietly, clenching my fists at my sides. "Why couldn't you? I would've done something. I would've stopped him. I could save Sasuke, or someone, and I could've-"

"What could you have done?" She bellowed, and I heard a shuffling of weeds like she was walking towards me. "You would have killed yourself, nothing else would have happened!"

Her bony hand came to rest on my shoulder, as if she wanted me to face her, but I jerked away, finding my eyes filled with tears again.

"Your anger would _blind_ you." She spoke, sounding like she was spitting knives, "The hate would _damn_ you. If you want to save your precious Sasuke, you need a clean head-"

I spun around to face her, finding her much closer than I expected, speaking before I even processed er in front of me, "And I'm supposed to feel clear-headed now?"

I might have paid attention to what her response if I wasn't too focused on her appearance. She looked different somehow, tired. Her shoulders hunched over her slight frame, I could see her ribs through the fabric of her shirt, and her arms were so thin I was surprised she had the strength to raise them. Her breaths came in shallow gasps, though that could have been anger, her hair was the same rat's nest it always was but now it was plastered to her pasty skin. Her cheeks were like thick curtains drawn tight across the bone of her skull, and he eyes were bloodshot.

I realized with some sort of strangled pity that she was dying.

"Why did you choose me?" I asked, interrupting her speech, whatever she as saying. She stopped, locking her eyes with mine and clenching her jaw. "And I want the truth. All I've gotten out of you thus far has been lies, and I'm sick of it."

She was silent for a long, long moment.

"You have intimate ties with one who was taken from you by Orochimaru." she spoke softly, the first time I ever heard her sound unassuming in any way. "You would not give into his demands, if he had any. You would not fall for his...charms."

I scoffed, forgetting for a moment that she did exactly that, "What charms?" Her face darkened considerably.

"He can have everything you need, if convenient for him." She spoke after a short silence, "He was everything I needed. But everything _you_ need is in that boy." I tried to deny it, but she didn't stop talking, "And nothing he does can alter that truth. I saw that. You didn't need anything but the very thing he had taken from you."

I couldn't bring myself to speak for a moment. I wanted to deny it, because how ridiculous was it for a boy who left you on a park bench to be 'all you need'? But before I could deny it, I thought of how long I spent agonizing over the fact that he was gone, and how long I closed off others because it just didn't feel the same since he left. The hole in my heart that never fully healed unless he was around seemed so blaringly obvious now, and I felt so utterly pathetic at how hard I had fallen for him.

The only thing I could get out was a simple question, "Are you dying?"

She was silent, but her face had suddenly turned solemn, and I knew the answer. "It's the book, isn't it? Without it, you die. The old woman who gave it to you died because she was passing it on to you."

Again, she said nothing.

"And you're afraid."

Still she didn't respond.

"Good."

This time her eyes snapped back to mine, the fire from previous times I had come in contact with her was back in her shadowy eyes, and I found myself tearing up again.

"I hope you remember how this feels. To be terrified. Because you're paying for everything you've done._ Including_ sending me back on a mission you_ knew_ I couldn't complete-" Her hand shot out to grip at my neck, but I still managed to choke out more, "-Just to go through everything again."

Her hand squeezed, like she meant to break my neck, but I found my eyes snapping open and I was back in the clearing near Konoha, leaning against that tree. My throat ached, but when I pressed my fingers against it, it wasn't tender. In that moment, as scared as I was, I realized she was so much more terrified.

Then, with bloodshot eyes, tear-stained, dirt-smudged face, and surely looking terrified, I looked up to lock eyes with Sasuke's frozen form at the edge of he clearing.


	16. Solace

**I knooowww, so long, no excuse. Other than classes, the play, and my recent introduction to bumlr which has effectively ruined my proactive-ness,..if that ever existed. Damn you tumblr. **

**Oh my God...This is kind of short, considering how long you had to wait for it. It's kind of rushed, I know, I tried to finish it—you know what, I'm not going to say anything, if I say something I'll either chalk it up to be something better than it is or I'll be hard on myself, either way my words will be lies, so go forth and make your own opinions! Please review! Honesty is the best policy!**

**Speaking of reviewers; thank you to Alyssa Michele, Your-Room-Is-A-Mess, Love fanfiction, light blossom and dark warrior, Pilar Ann, OREI, Toreh, songs, Lalala, Nuria Sato, Juniper11, illneverknow, -chan, Scarlet, Lawi, Tigerfighter98, Roseacoco, Embers N Ashes, KittyWillCutYou, BlueSakuraAC, Mistress DragonFlame, Jane Odair, Kirari Ferrari, The-dark-delights-of-words, and TheBrokenReflection. YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND I LOVE EACH ADN EVERY ONE OF YOU INDIVIDUALLY THANK YOU SO MUCH**

I was mortified. No, beyond mortified, terrified, as I sat immobile under his scrutinizing gaze. He didn't look at me with worry, not really, but some sort of resigned anger, and it made me think he was disappointed in me, like I had let him down by the very fact that I had emotions. In fact, this was one of the only moments in my life that I looked at his face and wished he wasn't expressing emotion.

And that was new to me.

"Sakura?" He spoke, almost tentatively, like he was sure I was about to lose it. Maybe I was.

"I'm sorry," I practically spat out, finding my throat was sore even though I didn't remember sobbing, "Is this where you train? I'll go, I'm sorry, I'll just go." I stood, lowering my head and pretending I was wiping something off my dress as I walked away, as if he wouldn't notice that I had been crying before. I couldn't help but let the irrational fears take over my subconscious, wondering if I had been speak during the meditation, if he had heard anything I said, if he could hear anything the witch said, if he knew what was happening.

I don't know why I didn't feel the same fear of him knowing as I did of anyone else, but rather than that pressing panic I always felt when I was about to reveal my predicament to anyone, I felt a weight lift off my chest. Then I banished the idea of telling him from my mind and it was back, pressing and pressing until I couldn't breathe.

"Sakura." His voice no longer sounded tentative or careful, but it was forceful. A command, of some sort, though I couldn't pinpoint what the command was in his tone. I turned, swiping my arm across my eyes before meeting his. His emotions weren't gone, no, but they had changed. It wasn't any sort of worry, it was never any sort of worry, but he suddenly looked so terrifyingly angry I found my breath catching and my hands clenching and my knees locking and my jaw setting and I couldn't move.

No words. For the longest, longest time, there were no words. I couldn't even bring myself to look away, though I didn't dare look into his eyes. He searched me, his gaze flickering across my face, to the stiffness in my arms and legs, the hunch of my back, and back to my face again, and I kept my eyes planted firmly on his forehead.

"Sakura." I don't know what it was about the way he said my name, but whatever it was it brought on such a violent torrent of emotions I couldn't pinpoint even one. I wanted to drop to me knees and scream, I wanted to rip out my hair and knock down some trees and spill all my secrets and lock my arms around Sasuke and beg him not to ask me all at once. I wanted to cry and yell and whine and complain and babble and sob. But most of all, I wanted to laugh, not because the feeling of any happiness bubble up in me, but because I wanted to tell him everything was okay. I wanted to laugh at how emotional I was. I wanted to lie and walk away and make him believe me. I wanted to laugh and smile and say I was fine. But I couldn't find the will.

"Just..." I wanted to tell him to go, or to let me leave, just to drop the subject, but my throat closed up and I found my lip trembling again. "If you expect me to tell you what's wrong, it's not that easy." I choked out, turning my head to the side as to avoid seeing his reaction.

To be honest, I already planned this conversation out in my head the moment it started. I would deny telling him, maybe he would push a bit, but eventually he would leave because if the tables were turned, he would want me to leave. But as much as I wanted him to stay, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

What would he think? Even if he did believe me, I've been lying to him from the start. What if he thinks I've been using him to get to Orochimaru? What if he thinks I'm lying? What if he thinks I'm crazy? What if he loses trust in me or tries to kill me or uses me to weed information of his brother out of me?

He was closer now, I noticed because he had neared me enough that the wind blew his sent toward me. He didn't smell bad, in fact he smelled pretty good, but I could smell the sweat and dirt—and was that blood?—on him from what was no doubt a rigorous training session. But under the earthy smells from the training, I could smell the sent of his skin on the wind, something warm and almost musky that clouded my thoughts and seemed to cover my senses.

He said nothing then, but he did turn my head to lock eyes with me, as if that could let him understand. But he could never understand. Not this. Gone was the comfort of confiding in him my struggles, and what replaced it was the overwhelming fear of his rejection.

"What happened?" He finally asked, a strange question for him, I thought. It sounded odd falling from his tongue, like a cold morning in the middle of summer, it just didn't seem to fit. It was too concerned, to aware of the world and people around him, too empathetic for it to ever fit with what I knew of him, and I found myself too stunned for words.

"You can't help me," I finally spoke, finding enough solidity in the confusion of his tone to keep myself from sobbing through my words, "No one can. I can only help myself. I'm alone."

It was quiet, and I realized that was the first time I had outwardly admitted my isolation. An isolation he couldn't possibly understand, because it wasn't like him. I was never like him. But it was my own form of isolation, the worst kind, really. The kind where you aren't alone, not really, not in physicality, but inside your own head you are a thousand miles away. In your own head, no one is there. So when the day is gone, when the sun has set, and you're in your own bedroom, there's a quiet sort of emptiness that settles on your mind, and it doesn't go away.

That was different from Sasuke. Because he chose a different type of loneliness. I thought that maybe, for the first time, I might've understood him. He had the loneliness of the night. He would sit at home in an empty house and in his mind, no one understood. No one stood beside him in his thoughts. So, to cope with the change, he pushed people away outside as well. Because if he abolished any existence of freedom, of friendship, then the loneliness didn't exist either. Without loneliness, there is no togetherness. And visa versa.

I admired him then, the way he thought, the way he lived. I let myself think, only for a moment, that maybe in our isolation we could find a place together. Maybe we could help each other. Maybe in each other we'd find the cure to that loneliness. But the more I thought, the more ridiculous it became. The more frightened I was by the thought.

I didn't realize I had tried to turn and leave until his hands locked around my forearms and pulled me back. It was almost violent the way his fingers dug into my arm, the way he pulled me back so that his sent filled my senses again, and I found myself inadvertently looking into his eyes and being unable to look away.

He seemed to hesitate, almost falter, as if he was afraid to ask, but he continued with a confidence I envied. "Sakura." He stated, his voice rough, "Tell me."

I teared my eyes away from his, squirming in his grip, "You won't believe me."

"Sakura—"

"No!" I interrupted, pulling away suddenly. "You won't believe me, and if you do, you might not trust me, or you might hate me, I won't have you hating me Sasuke, I _won't._" His stare hardened then, as if he was going through all the worst possible situations, and I found myself huffing angrily.

"I trust you." He said suddenly, and I found myself whipping my head up toward him to fast that my neck cracked.

"What?" I gaped, trying to search his face for any explanation for his confession. He only stared back at me evenly, waiting for me to explain.

I was brought back to that day at the training grounds, where I had apologized to him._ I trust you more as a teammate than anyone else_, I had said. _I just trust you._ And I wondered if this was his way of reciprocating.

Even if the gesture was a bit late, I appreciated it. A bit too much, really, because before I knew it, my lip was trembling again and I had to take three calming breaths before I could speak again.

But before I could confess, I went through an event in my mind. One where I told Sasuke, and he would leave. Not only leave, but leave sooner, and leave because of me, because I lied to him and because he was angry. And then suddenly the fear gripped my chest again, and I found myself becoming angry.

"No." I finally said, and I noticed in the corner of my eye the tensing of his shoulders. Good, I thought, let him be angry. Let him know what it feels like to be shut out, shunned, let him know how it feels to be unwanted.

I felt his hand on my arm, and though my natural instinct was to lean in, I snatched my arm away, "No!" I said again, more forcefully.

But the touch of his hand brought back too many memories for me to handle. The feel of his hand made me think of that night after my nightmare of the witch, then I remembered the memory of him leaving Konoha in my last life. I remembered the feel of Techi's hand, funnily enough, briefly and apathetically, before my mind switched to my father. His hand, comforting, or trying to be, shortly after dealing with the after-effect Sasuke's departure had on my emotions.

Suddenly, I lost my will to hide. I lost my will to run. I lost it at the thought of my loneliness and suddenly my mind was spiraling and spiraling and I couldn't stop it. Suddenly my mouth was running and I couldn't silence it. Suddenly my heart was aching and I couldn't soothe it.

"I'm not like you," I wailed, a sob escaping my lips after I spoke. "Because I'm not from here." Another sob, and I purposefully avoided meeting his eyes, "Because I'm eighteen. Because I was thrown back into my twelve year old body by some old witch who bears a grudge against a man you will inevitably leave me for."

It was silent. A silence so different from anything I'd ever heard. This silence was painful, literally _painful,_ and I clenched my fists and forced myself to breathe evenly in my wait.

He didn't speak. Any why would he. I was speaking madness.

My lip trembled and another sob escaped my throat before I found myself speaking again, "Orochimaru—" cue sob here "—I—I tried—I'm trying—I don't know what to do, but if I don't kill him, I'll—I—I just—"

He didn't move, as much as I ached for him to comfort me, and I forced myself to pull it together to explain it. It took a good thirty seconds, but I managed to collect myself, and then I found myself finally explaining. I started with the witch, I avoided the topic of him leaving, I addressed my task to kill Orochimaru or my eminent death if I failed. I didn't look at him once the entire time.

Finally, he spoke. "Why you?" He uttered. A single sentence that nearly undid me at the seams. Why me, indeed? I was a pathetic, love-sick girl who couldn't see past her own selfish wants for love. But that's what it was, I realized. Selfish love. I had come to terms with that.

"You left me." I finally said, and the air fell still. I found it hard to breathe, "You left me, but I..." My lips trembled, "I loved you."

So still, so silent, so terribly frightening it was to stand there and reveal something to a boy who had only begun to realize the depth of my admiration for him. I feared his rejection, I was terrified, in fact. But it seemed that wasn't enough to stop me.

"I had the most intimate ties." I said, "And...I suppose...the least reason to try and find a way out."

It was true, I realized, but it was a new discovery to me. If she were to send anyone else to the past, they might try to find a way out. But, I realized, I never wished for a way back. I feared my fate in this new life, but the thought of leaving this life with Sasuke to a life where he was already damned was a ridiculous notion, one that didn't even seem logical in my mind. Regardless of where _I_ was safe.

"I left." He finally spoke, not quite a question, but the inquiry was there. I nodded.

"You left me."

There was a shuffling of leaves as he moved a foot, whether it was step forward or a step back, however, I wasn't sure. I was staring pointedly away from him.

"But you came back." He spoke, "You're risking your life."

"I had no choice to come back." I finally said, lifting my head to finally face him, and I found him closer than before. His brow was furrowed, and I couldn't tell if it was anger or confusion, or a combination of the both. "But I did choose not to try and leave."

"Why?" He asked after another dreadfully long silence.

"Didn't I already answer that?" I said, trying to avoid the question. It was an obvious answer, maybe not to him because he hadn't seen the love I had for him yet, but it was obvious to me. In the silence that followed my answer, I found myself at peace. I tried to find the will to be afraid he would reject me, but I couldn't. All I could think was that I wasn't alone anymore.

His hands found their way to my jawline, cupping my head in his hands. He angled my head so he could see my eyes, and for a long while he just stared, like he was trying to figure me out. I found that now, in light of everything, it wasn't so hard to meet his eye. The feeling of exposure I always got didn't matter, because he knew everything now. And though I still feared his rejection, as I always did, I found much greater comfort in his eyes than fear.

He lowered his head then, so that I could no longer meet his eyes, and his lips hovered a small distance over mine. He didn't move for a long moment, just hovering there over my lips, so I could feel his breath against the skin of my mouth. But he didn't close the distance. Instead, he lowered his head, resting his forehead against mine.

He didn't move, but I could feel the periodic tightening of his hands, the tensing of his shoulders, the furrowing of his brow, and I could only imagine what he was thinking. I took solace in the fact that he did not move away from me, and eventually I found the courage to reach up and take his hands form my jaw, wrapping my arms around his shoulders instead.

That cold, emptiness that lied inside my mind was silent, for now. That feeling of dreadful isolation was gone, for the moment. And when his arms wrapped themselves around my waist and crushed me to him, I found no discomfort in the embrace.

We were not healed. We were not comforted. But for a moment, we were the same. For a moment, and who knows how long it could last, we weren't alone anymore. That blaring emptiness in my heart was quelled, and we shared in that loneliness. He knew what it was to fear, and to lose, and to regret. It was something I couldn't dare say I related to in my past life, but now it was something we shared.

And in the silence of the clearing, my eyes watered. This time, however, it was not for sorrow.


	17. Anxiety

**...Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, I'm a terrible person, and today I was just like, I NEED TO UPDATE THIS SERIOUSLY and so now...I have this but...It's late and...I may have missed typos and sentences might be weird and I shouldn't post this because I am so freaking tired I can't focus but I just I want to give you guys something and I am so so terribly sorry for making you all wait so long.**

**I'm a terrible person.**

**That is all.**

As the days progressed, and the third part of the chunin exams approached, I found myself on borderline anxiety almost constantly. Sasuke trained every day with Kakashi until late, but we had somehow started a habit of meeting every night at that clearing in the woods. Sometimes he would continue training and I'd watch. Sometimes we would talk about something, who knows what. He wasn't a big talker, I would do most of the talking, but he would reply with facial expressions. Maybe a smirk, or a frown, or one of those what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you looks that I seemed to get a lot. But most of the time we just sat there in silence. It wasn't intimate, exactly. There was very rarely any physical contact. But we'd sit or lay down next to each other and just be. I had gotten into the habit of staring at him while he was thinking, because sometimes, for a split second, his mask would split and I'd see an expression. A tiny look into his brain.

It was weird, our relationship. With the final exam approaching quickly, he was never as carefree as he was in that hospital room. He was always very serious. But I wasn't bothered much. He knew I was anxious. I could tell he knew, because every once and while when we were parting he might place a comforting hand on my shoulder, or on my forearm, or sometimes he would hold my wrist for a moment before he left. It communicated a silent reassurance. He wasn't the type to hold me in his arms and whisper sweet nothings into my ear and promise me he would protect me and that everything would be okay, but the little moments of physical contact did more for me than anything else ever could. I was almost happy that he wasn't the type for much physical contact, it made every moment of physical contact that much more special.

He never brought up the witch or Orochimaru, and whenever I tried he got awfully quiet. It scared me. It made me think that maybe he was considering something terrible. I only tried to push for a response once, but he had snapped at me. He said "What I choose to do isn't much concern of yours." There was a long moment of silence in which I was silently losing my mind, before he quietly wrapped his hand around my wrist. He didn't look at me. He didn't apologize. I forgave him, anyway.

Now, the exams were in three days. I hadn't heard from the witch, nor had I tried to contact her. Her presence wasn't missed. But I felt almost lost without her appearances. I wondered if she had died, somewhere in the future, or wherever she contacted me from. But I knew she wouldn't send me back if there was no chance of me saving her life, so I doubted she was dead. I didn't miss her, not at all. But I felt almost forgotten.

Three days, I thought as I lay in bed. Three days until Gaara's...episode. Three days until Sasuke's injury which ultimately convinces him he's too weak to stay in Konoha. Three days until Orochimaru strikes again. Three days until the Hokage's death.

I shot up. The Hokage's death. In my fretting over Sasuke, especially as of late, I hadn't even thought of the Hokage's death. I have to warn him, I thought, standing and picking up my sandals. But I stopped. I couldn't. They'd suspect me. They'd think I was in on it.

I'll tell them, then, I thought. I'll tell them everything.

Why would they believe you? My mind rebutted. It's a miracle Sasuke believed you. What holds up as a better reason, Time travel or double crossing?

My sandals dropped from my hands. What would I say? I couldn't sit here and do nothing, especially after all the time I had spent ignoring the fact that I could save the Hokage. But what could I do?

I could lie. Make up something that Orochimaru said. Or even twist his words or their meanings and give myself reason to fear for the Hokage. Or Sasuke. But no, then they might keep him from competing. I clutched me head in my hands, collapsing against the wall beside me. I couldn't keep up these lies forever. I could hardly keep the truth and the lies separate in my own head. I needed to speak to Sasuke, I decided. Now.

I didn't realize how black the sky still was until I had slipped my sandals on my feet and stepped outside. It must've been only about 4 o'clock in the morning, and here I was ready to bust down Sasuke's door and sob out my troubles to him. I collapsed to my knees on my front porch, staring dejectedly up at the night sky. The stars twinkled above me like a thousand tiny diamonds, but the beauty seemed lost on me. In my mind, I found an easier comparison to dust than precious gems in the sky.

"Sakura?" I whipped around, startled by the sudden voice, and saw my mother standing there with lidded eyes and donning a blue bath robe. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, mom," I replied slowly, "I just...needed air. I think I'm going to take a walk."

"It's four in the morning." She stated, yawning and rubbing her eyes. I nodded.

"I know."

It was silent for a moment, and I suddenly stepped forward and hugged her, pressing my face into her shoulder. Before she managed to wrap her arms back around me, I pulled away.

"I'll be back this afternoon, okay?"

She nodded, but I had already turned away and headed down the street before she could say anything. It wasn't until I found myself standing outside my sensei's door when the tears began to well in my eyes. I raised a shaking hand and knocked three times.

What was I doing?

The door didn't open for another thirty seconds, and when it did, he was half clothed, disheveled, and half asleep. His one visible eye widened when he finally seemed to recognize me.

"Sakura?"

"I don't know why I'm here." I said quickly, "I just wanted to talk to someone because I've been going insane and I just want someone to tell me I'm right to worry and I'm not completely crazy because I can't shake the feeling that something awful is about to happen."

He held up his hands, told me to calm down, and invited me in. I sat stiffly on the couch in the middle of the front room and he sat in the chair across from me. He was hunched over, elbows resting on his knees, his one eye fixed on me. "Now," He began calmly, "What's wrong?"

I had nothing planned out. Then again, whenever I do plan out what I'm going to say it usually goes terribly wrong, so maybe it was a good thing. I rambled at first, and he tried to steer my ramblings to get to my main point. I tried to make it seem just like worry, but nothing I said seemed to make sense.

"Orochimaru tried to kill Sasuke and he didn't." I finally said, and Kakashi stiffened in his seat. "Do you really think he won't come back for him?"

"Sakura," Kakashi began wearily, "You can't expect me to prevent him from competing—"

"You don't get it!" I exclaimed, standing up in my seat. His eye followed me as I paced around the sofa. "It's not about Sasuke competing! If Orochimaru wants Sasuke I doubt it's going to matter whether or not Sasuke competes, he'll still try to get him, but he won't take him by force, will he?"

Kakashi eyed me warily, "You never know with Orochimaru."

"No." I rebutted, "I do know. I know because that mark on his neck...he shouldn't be alive, Kakashi-sensei, but he is. Orochimaru is going to want him to come willingly, or he'll never be able to use his power. And what's the one thing that could keep Sasuke away from him, Kakashi, what's the one thing that is keeping them apart?"

He was silent. I threw my arms up.

"This village! This is Sasuke's home. Tear his home apart and what's left? Nothing. There's nothing keeping them apart. And Orochimaru can take what he wants."

He didn't reply, and I thought for a moment he might suspect me of something, but then he sighed wearily, "What do you think he is going to do, Sakura?"

"Exactly what I said." I replied, "Tear the village apart. What's the most important thing a village needs."

"Its leader." He breathed. I nodded once.

"Its leader."

Kakashi finally stood from his seat, "Sakura, do you really think we haven't considered this?"

My face contorted with confusion, and I took a step back.

"We're doing all we can to keep the Hokage safe and continue with the Chunin exams. We'll have maximum security, and—"

"How can security matter if you don't know who Orochimaru is? I saw him rip the skin of someone off of his face, Kakashi, like some kind of flesh-mask, he could be anyone!"

"What do you suggest we do, Sakura? Cancel the Exams?"

"No!"

"Then what?" I tried to form a response, anything, but the words died in my throat. I stared at him from across the room, his stance legs apart, arms loosely at his sides, his back hunched, and I suddenly realized he was exhausted with me. Of course he would be. I wasn't making any sense. I opened my mouth to tell him, to tell him everything, but I couldn't. I wanted to, oh how I wanted to, but it wouldn't come out of my mouth. Frustrated tears welled up in my eyes and I looked away. He sighed, like he was ready to say something to try and calm me down, but I didn't want to hear it. I'd lose it.

"Nothing." I said finally, "I'm not suggesting anything I just thought..." I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head, then made it for the door.

"Sakura." He called, but I shook my head. I stopped with my hand on the knob.

"I just thought my fear was warranted. At least I know that's true. I'm not crazy." I blinked tears back and gave him a tight smile, "Thanks for that."

I opened the door, slammed it shut, and walked towards the spot Sasuke and I always met. He wouldn't be there for at least another fourteen hours, but I just wanted a place to be alone. I just wanted to beat the hell out of some trees or something and work out this anger.

If I couldn't convince Kakashi or anyone else to help the Hokage, then I'd do it myself. And I'd need to get back into training if I wanted to fight off Orochimaru.

* * *

I trained until I passed out. I woke up sometime in the late afternoon with every muscle aching and my stomach so empty it felt tight and pained. I dragged myself up, weakly healed any scrapes that looked unsightly, and then limped out of the clearing. When I came home, my parents weren't there. I was glad for that, actually. I wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone.

I took a shower and, for the first time in a while, didn't don my red dress. I slipped on a pair of tight, black pants and a long open shirt of my father's. It exposed the bandages I had used to patch up my stomach, which was sporting a particularly nasty bruise from training, as well as my chest bindings, but I wasn't going anywhere, so modesty wasn't exactly an issue.

I cooked myself dinner, and when my parents got home in the early evening, I pretended I was asleep. They went to bed early as well, but then they always did.

Two days...Two days until the final exam. I dreaded every moment leading up to it.

I just sat there in my room, on my own, for the remainder of the night, staring at the opposite wall. I didn't think, not really. My mind stayed silent. I just sat there and let my mind relax. It was the first time I was able to stop thinking about everything. I couldn't explain the peace, it just came with no explanation. But I didn't question it.

What finally brought me out of my reverie was three distinct taps on my window. I froze in my place on the floor, leaning against the edge of the bed, and slowly turned my head. Looking somehow just as nonchalant as he would standing in the middle of the street sat Sasuke on my windowsill. He gestured pointedly to the lock on my window. I jumped to my feet and unlocked the window.

"You could have used the door." I said, staring at him inquisitively as he climbed in.

He glanced around my room, taking in the scenery. His eyes rested briefly on my chest of drawers before his eyes met mine. "All the lights were off but yours. I figured your parents were asleep." I was about to ask why he felt the need to scour the house before knocking, but he spoke before I could ask. "You weren't at the clearing today."

My jaw dropped slightly when I realized I had forgotten all about it. "I'm sorry," I said, "I just...I got lost in thought, I guess."

He gently fingered the bandages that wrapped around my stomach, and I shrugged, "Training accident.

"

"And you didn't just heal it?" I was actually a bit taken by the way his voice softened. In the sound of his voice and the feel of his hand I could have forgotten everything he turned into.

"Didn't want to waste the chakra." I finally responded. And just like that, his hand dropped, and the moment was gone. He sat beside the spot I had previously been, and I reclaimed my seat on the floor next to him.

"So why did you come here?" I asked, leaning my head back against the bed.

"You didn't come to the clearing." He said simply. I rolled my head to look at him, but he was eyeing my chest of drawers again. What was so interesting about—

"You don't have any pictures." He finally stated.

I lifted my head and furrowed my brow, "I have the picture of our team."

"I thought you would be the type to keep picture of everything." He said, still looking at the nearly empty dresser top.

"Nothing worth keeping." I said quietly. He nodded, and silence fell between us for a while.

"Sasuke?" I finally called, turning to face him more fully. He made a hum of acknowledgment. "It's only two days now."

He turned his head to face me, and after a moment or two he responded, "You're afraid."

I frowned, unwilling to admit to my fear.

"You're afraid of Orochimaru."

I wanted to say I wasn't afraid, but I couldn't. I didn't want him to know what I was really afraid of for fear that it might push him to leave. I didn't want to smother him.

"Your revenge." I finally answered, knowing I couldn't lie to him, "You believed you could achieve it through him."

It was silent. "Did I?"

My throat suddenly welled. I couldn't get a word out even if I wanted to. I didn't want him to care if he did or not. I didn't want it to matter. I hoped he could prove to me I didn't need to be afraid. It was as if that sentence was a sign, an omen, a promise of his abandonment. After a moment or two, I managed to say "I don't know."

He was quiet, and I figured that would be the end of the conversation. I didn't risk looking at him, for fear I'd see anger or disappointment at my answer. I was content to let that be the end of the conversation, but suddenly his hand was on my thigh, and he turned me so I was facing him again. The closeness was intoxicating.

"I'll protect you." He said. It wasn't exactly sweet. In any other tone of voice it might have been, but his voice was low, threatening. I found myself more frightened by it than comforted. I didn't know what to say. I sat there with a reeling head, wondering what had brought this on.

"From what?" I asked. He didn't say anything then, and I shook my head sadly, "Sasuke, I don't think you even know what to protect me from."

His brow furrowed just slightly, and I was suddenly consciously aware that his hand was still on my thigh. The surprising thing was it didn't make me uncomfortable. He sat with his legs stretched in front of him, and me with one bent leg tucked underneath his and the other slung over his right leg, and I didn't feel frightened by it.

"Just don't leave me." I finally said, "I don't care what you do, as long as you're never alone. I don't want you to be alone again."

We spoke no more that night. I don't remember falling asleep, but I did remember waking early the next morning in my bed with the blankets pulled around me. Two days, was my first thought. Two days until Hell.


	18. Delay the Inevitable

I was going to throw up.

The morning had already been bad enough. I couldn't sleep all night, I just laid in bed and stared at the ceiling and tried to go though a battle plan in my head but I just couldn't. Everything was wrong. And Orochimaru was smart. And I was short and _damn it _I was weak. The only difference between last me and this me was that I had a different attitude, and I wasn't even sure it was a change for the better.

Then, when I finally became so exhausted I passed out sitting in my bathtub (I needed a change of scenery) I didn't hear my mom call for me to wake up. Then, she came in and saw my bed empty and figured I was up. So I was running late. Then, on top of that all my kunoichi dresses were filthy and/or torn to shreds. So I found those black pants I had worn the other night and grabbed a random shirt out of the back of my closet.

Too bad this shirt was from when I was like, oh I don't know, seven? And sure, it wasn't completely inundated but it was small and hardly made it to the waistline of my pants. I was too rushed to find a different shirt so I grabbed a huge 'housewife sweater,' as my mother likes to call it, and just threw that over it and went to close it.

But it had no buttons. Cool.

But by this point I was already out the door and running towards the arena. I still hadn't thought of a plan, and all that time in the bathtub was spent having one continuous nightmare of The Hokage dying again, and I'd be there watching it, and then maybe I'd die too, but more likely he'd just start killing everyone in front of me. Not to mention I had one hell of a crick in my neck.

And it wasn't until I had ran all the way there and found Ino to sit by, with me wheezing in my seat, that I remembered practically no one showed up on time to this anyway.

I nearly cried.

But, I didn't. Instead, I just felt physically ill.

Especially looking up to the box the Hokage sat in, that empty chair next to him. Soon, the audience would see the Kazekage in that seat. And I would see Orochimaru.

"Forehead, what the hell are you wearing?"

"I don't have the patience for this Ino."

Surprisingly, she stayed quiet after that. And I desperately tried to come up with a plan. I couldn't rightly just saunter on up there. The guards would slaughter me. And rightly so if I was armed—

God fucking damn it, I wasn't armed.

How, just, _how_ could I have forgotten to bring something, _anything_, with me? A simple kunai or—damn it!

"Hey, forehead, are you hyperventilating?" She shoved my shoulder, apparently that would help in her mind, "Hey, calm the hell down, Sasuke and Naruto will be here soon, okay?"

I shook my head, leaning over and resting my forehead in my palm, "No, I know, it's not that, I know they'll come, I just..."

"You just what?" She pressed, leaning in to try and catch my eye.

"I just...didn't bring...weapons...and...it's nothing."

There was an awkward silence in which I tried to preoccupy myself by listening to other conversations. Someone just got engaged.

"That's it?" She cried, "Well, take mine then, damn, take a chill pill while you're at it, Sakura." I stared in wonder as she took off her weapons pack and handed it to me.

"You'll need that," I protested. She scoffed, loudly.

"For what, Sakura? Neither of us are competing, in case you didn't notice."

I bit my lip for a moment, before replying, "Just keep some."

She rolled her eyes, "You're insane, you know that forehead? Completely bonkers." She kept a couple knives for herself, and gave me the rest.

Great, I thought. Now I have weapons. But still no plan.

At least it's a start.

* * *

I want to be clear that I wasn't proud of the way I acted in the future events. I was foolish and angry and fueled with something that was probably meaningless anyway. I found inspiration in the very thing that I had tried to shun the moment I had returned to these years. Revenge. Surprisingly, it wasn't for myself, or even just for Sasuke, but for that witch as well.

Allow me to explain.

Throughout the tournament, I stayed silently by Ino's side, finding comfort in her normality, and watched as the fights raged on. Unfortunately, my mind was too far gone on other matters to really participate in the cheering, but the craze actually worked to calm me, keeping me from having any sort of anxiety attack.

Then Sasuke appeared, in all his dramatics and mysteriousness, and I was violently reminded of what was to come. Then, on top of that, his eyes search the crowd. I remember, quite vividly, his determined stare the time before, and I specifically remember that he did not look out to the crowd. Part of me selfishly hoped he was searching for me, that I was the change, but another part of me cringed to the thought. I didn't want false hope.

And he found me—it musn't have been hard, I am pink for God's sake—and he stared. I don't mean that he watched for an uncommon amount of time and looked away, I mean he stared at me and didn't look away. I don't know when he would have, because ducked behind the seats before I could find out.

Yes, I ducked behind the seats, I felt nervous and uncomfortable and I didn't know why he was staring so I hid.

When the fight commenced I realized that it was time for me to figure out what the hell I was doing. But instead, I found my bravery deserting me. What was I supposed to do? Orochimaru was infinitely more powerful than me, especially when I was genin level. How could I possibly think that I had the power to change anything, especially the death of the Hokage?

"Forehead, what the hell?" Ino's voice, shrill as it was, snapped me out of my reverie. I didn't respond so much as stare up at her, her eyes narrowed in either annoyance or concern, I couldn't quite tell. Well, I thought. I had changed this. While we were on neutral terms after our fight in my past life, we were never to the point where she would notice if I were upset. Granted, it was pretty obvious what with the way I was crouched behind the seats in front of us. And I had changed Sasuke, I thought, a minor change but a triumph nonetheless.

I wasn't courageous, not at all. I wanted nothing more than to run away and hide from everything I knew was bound to happen. But I was determined. And sometimes, I suppose, determination can be an antiquate substitute for courage.

So I nodded, not quite trusting myself to speak, and stood. Waving in a way I hope communicated that I was going to go, I may or may not be back before shit goes down, don't worry. And slowly, I made walked my path towards the Kage's balcony.

But I still had no plan.

Sneaking past the guards was easy, after all I didn't have a substantial amount of chakra to detect, certainly not the amount they would be watching for, and I was light on my feet. However, I found myself at a stalemate again when I had made it within meters of Orochimaru and still no plan. In my head, I cursed up a storm, knowing how dangerous it was that I was standing there, hiding, plotting, with no idea how to defend myself.

My thoughts were cut short at the sound of the kazekage's voice, standing and excusing himself. I panicked, turning to flee from my place around the corner, but I found myself pressed against the wall.

"What is your purpose spying on the Hokage and myself?" He stood before me, pressing my painfully against the wall. To anyone who might've stumbled in, it would seem he had found a rat. A voice that wasn't his own would say that the girl was spying on him and he was seeing her out. Lips that weren't his own would tighten, and eyes that weren't his own would narrow, and he would act as if it was his right to act this way.

But he was the rat. Not me.

"Don't play with me," I spoke without thinking, angry beyond recognition, "I know who you are. You don't fool me."

It was silent for a beat, before he pinned me tighter, his arm crushing my shoulders uncomfortably. "And who do you think-"

"You almost killed my friend, don't think that I wouldn't recognize you." I snarled, going through different scenarios in my mind on how to get away.

He smiled then, a smile I could picture on a paler face with yellow eyes. "Yes, the Uchiha," He purred, "I see he is much better now. Impressive."

"What are your plans for him?" I ask, knowing full well the answer but looking for a conversation to distract him enough for me to unpin myself. "There's no way you just want him to work for you. You're powerful enough. Do you want to use his body? As a host?"

I didn't realize I had expressed way too much comprehension of his abilities until his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and his arm became like steel. I met his eyes without meaning to.

"How do you know of that?"

I racked my brain, spitting out a messily worded and rushed explanation, "In the forest, you shed her skin. That woman. Like a snake. It was obvious."

He smiled again, creepy and sinister, "Obvious, was it?" He chuckled, leaning in close. I cringed at the proximity.

"What is your name, child?"

I refused to speak.

"Very well, I shall learn it when I call for the guards." He opened his mouth to call, and I quickly jerked my leg, more on instinct than any careful planning, and nudged his ankle just enough to slide my leg behind his. I hooked my knee around his shin, pulling toward me and knocking him off just enough to slide around and stand behind him. I backed up, giving myself space.

"I'll tell them," I bluffed, "I'll tell them who you really are if you call for them."

His head turned, and I saw his lips curl slowly into a crazed grin. He turned to face me completely then, his eyes flashing yellow. I paled.

"I'll just have to kill you quickly then."

"They'll hear," I protested as he took a step toward me, "And they'll come see and I'll tell them."

"I'll rip out your vocal chords," He snarled.

"I'll write it down."

He paused, eyeing me angrily. Then his lips twitched.

"Allow me to tell you what is going to happen here, child," I flinched, "I won't kill you." His voice dropped considerably after this, "I _will _kill the hokage. I will take Sasuke-kun, you're precious one. And one day, when we meet again, I will use him for my host, yes. And I'll kill you then."

"You won't." I rebutted, clenching my fists, "You can't. You'll fail."

He grinned then, terrifying even in this body, "You think that I will fail only because it is the one thought that allows you escape from the worry. But you know I can." He paused, advancing on me, "How you know, I'm not sure." He raised his hand, stroking it down the side of my face, "You hold many secrets, don't you dear? I'm sure your precious Sasuke-kun will be all too willing to divulge them to me, once I—"

I want to say that I'm not proud of this. It's foolish and childish and stupid. But I punched him in the face.

And I didn't just punch him, I infused chakra into my fist and broke his fucking jaw.

That's when the explosion happened. I braced myself against the wall behind me, watching as orochimaru did a shotty job of fixing his jaw while glaring hatefully at me. Then he froze, every muscle tensing as his eyes widened. I turned to look down the hall, expecting someone to be coming. There was no one.

"Where did you get that?" I snapped my head back to look at him, following his gaze to my abdomen. The shirt I was wearing had ridden up, exposing my stomach. I saw the scars the witch had given me, five crescent shapes, like nails, which were a permanent bright red, as if they were a fresh wound. The Kanji for zero was still printed in the middle, a result of the countdown to my blast to the past.

I realized with a shot of terror that he may have seen marks like this before when she performed a spell for him. Slowly, shakily, I lowered my head to meet his eyes, which were wide with some sort of psychotic hatred. I faltered in my response.

Then my stupidity returned tenfold, and I simply replied, "A friend."

He snapped then, lunging for me and quite literally denting the wall behind us. The breath rushed out of me. It was stupid to say that. First of all, it was a lie. I was not her friend, not even a little bit, but I saw how possessive he was over her and I was too tempted. I wanted to make him angry. I wanted to scare him, even a little.

"You shouldn't have come here," He hissed in my ear, throwing my down the hall. I stumbled through the air and landed shakily on my feet, and when I looked up he was dashing toward me. And the snake was fast. I hardly managed to keep dodging his attacks and got hit more than I'd like to count. I couldn't find an opening to hit him back.

I got floored. I went to sit up but my back hurt like hell. Damn it.

I waited until he came to stand above me, then I hit a pressure point in his thigh. It caught him off guard and his leg collapsed as I scrambled to my feet. You can do this, I repeated in my head, You can do this. But I needed air. The smoke from the explosion outside was filling the hall and I was feeling hazy. I ran for it, finding my way out to the balcony, which was almost completely destroyed, and swinging myself up onto the roof.

"Sakura!" I turned, seeing the Hokage and two ninja with him. I cringed. I knew it would look bad, what I was supposed to do, but if Orchimaru was still in there I could buy time. So, ignoring the concern on the Hokage's face and the suspicion on the others, I lifted a fist, and slammed it down onto the roof.

I saw the Hokage stumble forward as it cracked, and although I knew he'd be fine, I rushed forward and snatched him from the caving in roof and onto the outer edge. The other ninja went to stop me, and just on pure reflex I punched one in the face. The Hokage let me take him to the edge before pushing back and eyeing me distastefully.

"I know what this looks like," I spoke quickly, "But the Kazekage is not who you think he is, Hokage-sama, you have to believe me."

"And how did you know this?" He asked, his eyes narrowed into slits. I sighed angrily.

"I can't explain it right now, it's more complicated than you think!" It was at that precise moment that Orochimaru arrived, announcing his arrival with the sound of one of the guards broken neck. Both the Hokage and I turned to face him. His face had peeled, just from the far right of his forehead down to the middle of his chest, the flesh hanging off in disturbing flakes.

"Sakura, leave. This man is—" The Hokage started

"Very powerful, yes, I know, I've met him."

"Don't think you understand, Sakura!" He snapped, turning his head toward me, "You cannot possibly imagine—"

"Yes, I can!" I snapped back.

Orochimaru, evidently tired of being ignored, swept forward and orchestrated an attack. He gripped me by my neck, throwing me behind him and beginning to fight the Hokage. I rushed back in, of course, and landed a punch before he let out a growl and bunched my shirt in his hand.

"We will meet again." He threw me back then, almost straight off the roof. I pulled myself back up, but to my despair, that giant, purple-hued shield was making it's way around them. I ran towards them, hoping to make it in, but before I got there, it met the ground. I pounded against it, angrily, desperately, watching the Hokage and Orochimaru continue their fight.

"Hokage-sama!" I called, and he spared me a glance, "I'll never forgive you if you die!"

He didn't have time to reply, and I was left outside of the shield with nothing to do to help. If all the guards the last time couldn't get past, how could I hope to?

So I took a step back, and sparing it a final glance, jumped off the roof. I slid down the wall, catching a ridge to swing myself over to the side and sliding down the inner wall of the arena. The entrance was now a gaping hole in the architecture, and I knew Gaara and Sasuke would be fighting.

I dashed through the rubble, out to the forest where knew they would be battling. Unfortunately, my memory failed me on exactly where they were.

"Sakura-Chan!" I whirled around, seeing Naruto and Kakashi's dog coming toward me, "Sakura-Chan, what the hell? People are saying you attacked the Hokage?" I took a step back, realizing that he wasn't rushing toward me to talk but rather to attack. It hurt, honestly, how ready he was to distrust me. I ducked out of the way of his punch and force dhim against a tree.

"Naruto!" I scolded, "I'm not..." I huffed, letting go of him, "I was trying to help, I didn't attack him, ok? Orochimaru was there and I..."

He looked apologetic, and ashamed. It didn't make me feel better.

"What happened? Everyone's out to get you now! Except I stood up for you, you know."

"Naruto," I objected, "You just ran up to attack me." He frowned.

"I gotta be careful, right?"

I sighed, turning around in circles to examine my surroundings, "Where is Sasuke? Is he leading you?" I gestured to Pakkun.

"Whoa, not until you explain what—" I shoved him up against the tree, a tad more violently than the time before.

"Naruto, we don't have time, where is Sasuke?"

He gulped, and gestured to Pakkun. "Y-Yeah," He stuttered, "Follow him." I let him go and followed Pakkun, muttering a quiet apology.

The scene we came upon was dismal but familiar. To me, anyway. Sasuke lay on a thick branch, twitching and gripping at his neck. I quickly made my way to his side.

"Sasuke?" I spoke carefully, and his head snapped to see me. He didn't keep eye contact long, his face twisting into a grimace and turning his head to rest it against the branch. His muscles tensed and relaxed, his fingers digging into the skin of his neck.

I didn't know what to do. So I placed a hand on his shoulder, retracting it slightly when he flinched before setting it back, and leaned down to try and meet his eye.

"Sasuke, you have to control it." I spoke, but he showed no sound of listening. He continued to convulse, struggling with all that he had to control the curse mark. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to help. I didn't know anything.

The next few moments played out like a movie. I heard Gaara growl out a fierce threat, "Prepare to die," and he rushed toward Sasuke. I knew that he would kill him too. I knew he would kill anyone. I remembered this from before, remembered how scared I was that he would kill me. But if was all I could do.

So I stood in front of Sasuke, knowing this was all I could do right now. I put on a brave face, got in a defensive position, and offered a distraction.

There was something I didn't notice before, though. I don't think the scene was different, because I remembered it all so vividly and it all just seemed to fit. But I met his eye when he rushed toward me, the eye that was still human. And there was something there. It wasn't fear. It wasn't quite sadness. But regret.

Then it was gone, and his sandy claws pushed me out of the way, slamming me into a tree. The bark knocked against my head, and everything was black.

* * *

I woke up and my first feeling was anger.

Sasuke sat over me, his curse mark still half expanded over his face. At least he had stopped convulsing, but the marks made me uneasy. "Sasuke?" I had first called, raising my hand to trace the markings on his face. He looked as if he were reasdy to lean into my touch before I spoke.

"Why are these still here?" I asked. He frowned.

"I haven't—"

"Sasuke they need to go away." I spoke in a rush, letting panic seep into my tone. He took my hand from his face.

"Sakura, calm yourself."

"Where's Naruto?" I demanded, "Is he...?" I trailed off when Sasuke looked off to the side, where Naruto and Gaara lay. I rushed to my feet.

"Sakura!" He called, taking my wrist. I pulled back immediately.

"Sasuke, I'm fine, if I can't do anything to help anyone today, at least let me heal him, okay? I'm fine." And it was true. I had failed, completely. I couldn't help the Hokage, I only succeeded in pissing Orochimaru off, Sasuke is still giving in to the curse mark, and Naruto is half dead on the ground. I ran toward him, ignoring my own migraine, and I began healing him. It wasn't long before Sasuke was at my side.

It was while I was healing Naruto that Gaara's siblings came to Gaara's aide and began picking him up. "Put him down!" I demanded, and Temari looked at me, shocked. Kankuro looked appalled. "Put him down," I said gentler, "So I can heal him."

They still stood there. I sighed, standing from Naruto, who was mostly healed anyway, and walking toward them. I pulled Gaara from their hands, who I now realized was still mostly conscious, and I laid a hand on his forehead.

"You do realize he tried to kill you, right?" Temari asked.

Kankuro scoffed, "She was unconscious, she probably doesn't even—"

"I do know." I snapped, glaring at him, "And I don't care." He reached out, whether to gently place a hand on my shoulder (not likely) or to pull me away I never did find out. Sasuke grabbed his hand on its path to my shoulder and twisted it away.

"Sasuke." I scolded gently. He gave me a look.

"Sakura," He kneeled beside me, approaching me like I was about to snap. Maybe I was.

"What."

He pulled my hand away from Gaara, "He can heal the rest of the way on his own."

I almost fought, but the siblings picked him up before I could stop them. Naruto laid behind us, conscious but quiet.

"Sakura." He began, as if he was going to comfort me.

"What, Sasuke?" I snapped, "You're going to comfort me, while that curse mark is taking over you?"

He frowned, "It's—"

"It's not okay!" I elaimed, before glancing at Naruto behind him. I lowered my voice, "It's not okay because I've seen what happens when you let that happen Sasuke, and you don't seem to understand the danger you're in—"

He placed a single finger over my lips. "You think I'll leave—"

"Oh, I know you'll leave," I spoke against his finger. He replaced it with his whole hand.

"But this isn't the same life you lived." I stilled in my struggled against his hand and finally made eye contact. He had no expression to read, but the way he looked at me. I can't describe it. It was like he meant it.

I gently pulled his hand off my mouth and sighed. "Sasuke I want to get something straight with you."

He waited.

"I love you," I said, meeting his eyes again, "But if you leave I promise you I will kill you before you can kill me." He looked shocked, like that was the last thing he was expecting from me, but he said nothing. "Because we both know I'll be on your hit list if you turn dark side."

He didn't say anything still, and I was glad for his silence. Nothing he said then could comfort me. I had tried to hard and worried so much for this day, and nothing had changed. We would attend the Hokage's funeral tomorrow, and Sasuke would leave. And there was nothing he could say to console me.

Instead, he very slowly leaned in, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my into an embrace. I returned it, confused to the display of affection. I felt, as he pulled me close, his lips press briefly to the side of my neck before he rested his chin on my shoulder. He was silent.

Suddenly I was ripped away by rough hands, and as I struggled to look around me I saw Konoha ninja surrounding me. "What's happening?" I demanded, "What's going on?"

"Sakura Haruno, you are now prisoner for attempted murder of the Hokage."

I locked eyes with Sasuke briefly, his gaze as wide as mine surely was. He called out my name, angrily, desperately.

There was a sharp pain in the back of my neck. Then I was out.

**I am literally the worst human being I know I know I'm so sorry**

**I don't even know what happened, I just completely went off this story for a while. It was a combination of writers block, school, extra-curricular stuff, and laziness. Gosh, I'm so sorry you all had to wait so long, and you've all been so great about it.**

**I mean I feel so bad I want to make it up to you guys but idk how I'll try to get the chapter after this out ASAP I really will try!**

**Thank you to my lovely reviewers from last chapter, GOSH there were so many of you! I mean it was you guys that made me make sure and get this out, it really was, I so so so so so appreciate you all for reviewing! **

**So this is what I give you. Ugh I know its rough I'm awfully sorry it's a lot of action and my action writing...leaves room for a lot of improvement. **

**So please don't hate me! I'll try not to leave you all high and dry like this again!**

**I love you all so much! Hugs and hugs and kisses and reses peanut butter cups or plan hershey's milk chocolate for those of you alergic to nuts or cookies if you hate chocolate or gluten free cookies if you can't eat flower or JUST WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU GUYS ROCK**

**and one more thing, if there are typos PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know! This is really just my laziness but it's so late and I'm so tired and I just I cannot read throught his right now, I physically cannot do it. So...please tell me if there are typos so I can get rid of those.**

**Keep on rockin on**


	19. Childhood

I had never been in a Konoha jail cell before. I'd seen them, of course, but I had never, ever been inside one. It was an odd feeling. I could have never imagined I would end up here, but with the events, I suppose it should have been obvious. A passer-by may have seen me make my way toward the Kage's balcony before it all went down. Perhaps before the body guards were shielded from Orochimaru they saw me in the wreckage. Maybe someone saw me punch the Kazekage in the face.

There were plenty of explanations, and I was a fool for thinking that I could waltz in there and beat everyone up and get away with it. That was such a Naruto move it actually made me laugh.

There was no one else where I was jailed, and I figured they had me separate from all the prisoners. Attempted assassination was a bit more severe than our prisoners of war or spies that we caught. I had no visitors—surprise, surprise—and of course I wouldn't soon. I wondered how everyone was reacting, finding out that their friend Sakura attempted to kill the Hokage.

I didn't. But why would they believe that?

There was no way to tell the time of day, so I when I first awoke, I decided it would be daytime. I needed some way to keep myself sane, and counting the days was a way for me. I would wake, try to occupy my time long enough until I was tired again, then I would sleep once more.

I tried more than once to contact the witch, but it was futile. I wasn't sure if she was ignoring me or if I had been here too long to remain in contact or if she was dead, but I heard nothing from her. I thought of the look on Orochimaru's face when he saw the mark on my abdomen, the look of shock, anger, possibly even betrayal. I wondered briefly if he would return and jail her. If I would be the reason.

I comforted myself with the memory that it was something about a man she killed that Orochimaru wanted alive. It had nothing to do with me.

Three 'days' until I had human interaction other than the guard that brought my meals. Two guards, with scowls on their faces, collected me from my cell, not speaking a word. I didn't ask where I was going, knowing I wouldn't get an answer. They weren't terribly fond of me.

I ignored the terrifying thoughts of where they could be taking me and I quietly followed.

Strangely enough, a hospital was the destination. We winded through the halls, both of them guiding me by my arms, which were tied behind my back. I recalled briefly that Sasuke and Naruto would be in these hospital rooms. Or maybe they wouldn't be. Hell, I didn't even know what fucking day it was.

Maybe they would take me to see one of them, my foolish hopes spoke to me. Maybe I would see one of them and they could vouch for my innocence. Not that I was an easy case to defend.

But I saw neither Sasuke nor Naruto. Instead, in a room guarded by a single ANBU soldier, lie the Hokagee, lying lifeless on the—

Wait.

"Sakura, come in." He spoke, his voice raspy, he didn't move a muscle other than to smile. "Leave us." The guards did as they were told.

I was stunned into silence. He was _alive? _I wanted to scream and cry and cheer and laugh all at the same time. But I w as silent. I did it, I thought. Though _I_ didn't do much. I had been stuck out of the battle, I did nothing. But here he was, he was alive and well and breathing. I felt tears in my eyes

Was I dreaming?

"Sit down Sakura?" I glanced pointedly to the chair by his bed, and I stumbled over to it. "You look shocked."

"I-I..." I took in a shaky breath, tears in my eyes, "I was sure you were dead."

He chuckled, "Why would you think that?"

Blanching, I choked on my own words, "Well-I-you-I-was arrested for attempted murder of—"

"Attempted," He cut in, smiling at me, "Not successful. I'm sorry you had to stay in that cell for so long, I know a day can seem—"

"A day?" I whispered to myself. It seemed so much longer. The darkness seemed to stretch so long, I thought it was so much longer than a day. He didn't hear me.

"—I was unconscious you see, but very much alive." He smiled again, then it faded. "Sakura, you must know that your knowledge of the Kazekage being Orochimaru is very suspicious."

I was silent.

"I want to believe in your innocence," He said, "I do believe in it. But I cannot testify to it without the truth. No one else knew it was him, and even facing him, you were unaffected. As if you were familiar with him."

"I faced him in the forest, you see—" I tried to defend myself, but he spoke above me and I feel silent.

"One time meeting Orochimaru should instill fear, not courage. Especially in a genin."

"I am unlike most genin." I said, running through options in my head. I could tell him a lie of course, but what could fool him? He would see my lie out and mistrust me. I would end back in that cell.

Perhaps I could run. The idea itself was a joke. They would catch me in a moments notice and I would be back to that cell.

I could tell the truth.

...and he wouldn't believe me and I'd be back in that cell.

Or, a part of my whispered, he will believe you and you'll have him on your side. Imagine having an ally in the Hokage in this situation. He could help you beat Orochimaru. Look what he did this time! He kicked his ass with what looked like no injuries.

"Why." He breathed, watching me intently, "Why are you so unlike other genin Sakura. I need the truth."

"You won't believe me, Hokage-sama." I spoke, "And besides, I would much rather ear of your endeavors. How you beat Orochimaru with what looks like no injuries." I smiled, hoping to seem innocent. I was innocent, after all.

He frowned then, looking as if a heavy weight lay on his shoulders.

"Sakura..." He spoke quietly, and sighed. "Of course, you didn't hear."

I felt panic then, wondering what he could possibly mean, "What?" I spoke anxiously, "What is it?"

He chuckled lightly, but his smile was sad, "Don't fret." He spoke, and I forced myself to calm down, "I did not escape without a scratch. Orochimaru was a formidable opponent. I thought I would die. But if it weren't for his apparent distraction—" Distraction? "—I may have died. But I kept my life. My body however, I was not so fortunate to keep."

"I..." Words died in my throat, "I do not understand."

He sighed, "Sakura, I no longer have use of my body. I'm afraid I'm as useful as a severed head as I am."

My confidence, my happiness, my glee; all of it died in that moment. I stared down at his body, only just realizing how unmoving it was. He was paralyzed, I thought, _paralyzed_ from the chest down. Was that any better, for a hokage, than being dead? I felt tears well in my eyes for an entirely different reason than before.

"I'm so sorry," I spoke, "I wanted to save you, but if I had known...I'm so sorry, this must feel worse than death."

He shushed me, "Nonsense." He eyes me, thoughtfully, "If I didn't live, who would vouch for your innocence. Now, what exactly did you want to save me from?"

I explained it then, regardless of his reaction, I owed him this much. I took away from him a hero's death, and gave him a useless body. So I explained everything, starting with the fact that I was from the future. I explained my purpose, for the witch, against Orochimaru. Then I explained his death.

"I just wanted to save you. To change something, especially your death. It seems I did nothing to help you. For that I'm sorry. I failed." I stared down at my lap.

"Look at me." He commanded, his voice gentle. I glanced up hesitantly, and he was smiling. "Do not feel ashamed for saving someone's life. Maybe you could not help my in the battle, but I do believe your tryst with Orochimaru did enough to save me. I lost my body, but I still have my mind.

"I will," he continued, "however, need to give up my place as Hokage. But I am alive, and that is all that matters. Life, no matter the condition, is precious." He smiled at me. I couldn't quite bring myself to smile back, but I appreciated his words more than he could possibly understand.

"You must know, Sakura," He said, "Orochimaru is very interested in you. If he finds out how invested you are in Sasuke, his interest will only increase. You have shown him much of your situation, and I think it will hurt you. He will not hesitate to kill you, Sakura."

"Hokage, I am not as young as I look. I know about Orochimaru." He nodded solemnly.

"I am sorry for your experiences. Eighteen is still very young for you to have this much weight on your shoulders." He paused, then grinned, "But don't fret. You speak to me as if hope is lost, but look what you changed today. I am alive, aren't I?"

"You have no use of your body other than your head, Hokage-sama," I argued, but he smiled again.

"Alive, nonetheless." He sighed, "You are free to go. As the charges were false, and you have word from the Hokage, you should have no trouble. Head home and have a nice meal and a bath."

I stood, my legs shaking, and took a hesitant step toward him. "Hokage-sama, can I hug you?" He looked shocked for a moment, like that was the last thing he was expecting. "I just, the only person who I've told is Sasuke, and he isn't good with words, I just...you're the only one to make me feel..." I couldn't get the words out. He made me feel strong. He gave me hope, in just a few words. He made me feel capable again. He smiled at me, and I leaned down to wrap my arms around his neck. He laid his head against the side of mine, working as an embrace due to the lack of function in his arms.

I pulled back, smiling at him. A smile I don't think I've worn since...who knows when. A smile fueled by hope.

I did what he said and made my way home, intent on a nice bath.

* * *

I was greeted with a sobbing mother and father at the door. I tried to be understanding as I herded them into the living room, I tried to understand that they were distraught over their daughter and had a right to freak, but I couldn't handle the tears. I awkwardly calmed them down, before giving my dad a pat on the shoulder and running upstairs to take a bath. They were still crying theatrical tears of thanksgiving.

I quickly stripped out of my clothes, grimy from that day in the cell, and ran the bath water. I spoiled myself with bath salts and bubbles. My inner six year old got carried away and put half the bottle in. Then my inner four year old took the rails and dumped the rest in.

The result was glorious.

I stepped carefully through the bubbles in the water, the heat making my groan. It had been so long since I could take a nice bath like this.

"Mom!" I called, hearing a very faint, 'yes, dear?' from down the stairs, "Could you do me a favor and bring me up some clothes. Last I checked everything I had was in the wash!" I heard an affirmative and let myself sink lower into the heavenly waters. I blew some bubbles away to make room to my head as I sank in. There were so many bubbles. I giggled quietly to myself.

I heard the door open to my room, and called out, "You can just bring them in here!" I closed my eyes, hearing the bathroom door open and the clothes dropped on to the floor. "Thanks!" I chirped, humming contentedly and kicking my feet up, opening my eyes to watch the bubbles splatter.

In the corner of my eye I saw not my mother.

I flailed slightly at the sight of Sasuke in my doorway, a small pile of clothes dropped on the ground. He stared at me, eyes wide and eyebrows drawn up in something akin to horror.

"Your mother asked me to bring these to you." He spoke, monotone, motionless.

"Ah..." I said, feeling very much like him at the moment, "I, um..." I swallowed, thickly, telling myself he couldn't see me under the bubbles anyway. Good choice Sakura. "Why, uh...Why are you in my house?"

He pursed his lips, walking forward and resting against the sink, staring at the wall in front of him and refusing to look at me. "I heard you were let out of prison."

I cringed at the word prison, but hummed in agreement. "Yeah, I was. It was a misunderstanding."

He was silent, for he must've already known it was a 'misunderstanding.' I remembered how uncharacteristically soft he was the moment after the battle with Gaara, and compared it to him now. He was stiff, frozen, silent. He was uncomfortable.

"Um, You can go to my room, I'll get dressed and we can talk." He nodded, standing and walking briskly into my room, shutting my door. I quickly, spastically scrambled out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel to dry. The only clothes my mom had sent up (what the hell was wrong with her anyway? Sending up Sasuke with my clothes?) consisted of two kunoichi dresses—definitely not sleep wear—and some shorts and dad's T-shirt.

These shorts were really short.

But fine.

I pulled them on, finding them tighter and shorter than I was comfortable with after what just happened, and I pulled on the shirt. It was longer than my shorts, something I was simultaneously grateful and angry for.

When I opened the door, shaking a towel through my hair, Sasuke was leaning against my window. He didn't turn to look at me when I entered, so I announced my presence with a peppy, "What's up?"

He glance at me, "You're happy."

I shrugged, "Not really. Happier than usual, I guess. Sit down" I patted the bed next to me after I sat. He hesitated, then came and sat next to me on the bed. He was acting strangely.

"So," I spoke, "What is it?"

"Hn?" Was his only response, and I found myself smiling slightly at the age old response.

"I mean why are you here?"

It was quiet for a long time, then he scooted back on my bed, turned, and lay down beside me. I smiled again, quirking an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing?"

"Resting." He replied, acting as if it was normal that he came to my house just to lay on my bed.

"Sasuke, do you want to talk or—" Stupid question, Sasuke never wants to talk. He didn't respond to me either, so I huffed and lied down beside him. I stared at the ceiling, periodically glancing over at his face. I heaved a sigh.

"Do you think it's weird," I began, "That I'm essentially eighteen years old?" I asked. "I mean, in my mind I'm six years older than you."

I looked over at him to see his eyes were closed, but his brow was furrowed. "Why would that be strange?"

Shit.

Of course it wouldn't be strange. We weren't a couple or anything, and it was normal for people ages apart to be friends. And teammates. Damn it, we hadn't kissed. Well, there was that almost kiss the night I told him everything, but that wasn't a kiss. It was a...forehead-touching...almost kiss. So of course it wouldn't be weird, damn it all, why did I do this.

"I don't know," I stammered, "Just wondering."

Of course I romanticized everything. I felt thirteen again, lying in that bed mulling over everything. This wasn't about Sasuke, anyway, I told myself. My journey right now was to help the witch. My journey wasn't about Sasuke.

But...

Sudden enough for me to flinch, his arm wound itself under my waist and pulled me to him. The way he tugged at my midsection ended up with my sprawled half on top of him, and I I looked up at him to see his eyes closed. It was a gesture that silently communicated that, no, it wasn't weird. And when I pondered it for a moment, I figured he had always been mature anyway. It didn't feel like were were thirteen. It didn't feel like any of us were.

That's the thing about being a ninja, you grow up so fast. I don't remember much of a childhood. I remember at the age of six deciding I could accept it if I only lived to be seventeen. Or younger. I remember at age seven deciding I wanted to marry Sasuke Uchiha and do nothing else with my life. I remember at the age of thirteen deciding that maybe marriage wasn't what would happen between us. And now, at eighteen, or thirteen, or eighteen_ and_ thirteen, I was thinking about how a bubble bath and a boy resting in my bed was as rare as a cherry blossom tree blooming in winter. And that made me appreciate it more.

I laid my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest move with his breath.

"Sasuke?" I spoke. And he rumbled a response. "I appreciate you being here right now. Even if you did walk in on my bath." He tensed, but relaxed when I buried my face in his chest. His only response was to tighten his grip on my waist. I wondered briefly if he was embarrassed.

That thought sent me to sleep with a smile on my face.

**Hey look I didn't make you wait for like a year for me to update! And I give you what appears to be a filler chapter instead. Well it's not! Okay, it kind of is filler, but obviously some good...stuff...you know**

**Who am I kidding I'm going to shut up now.**

**Sp beautiful people, thank you for all your reviews! And the people who favorited and alerted it! I'm going to tell you right now that from here on out it will be very AU. Everything before has followed fairly close to the original story arc, but not anymore really. I mean, you can kind of tell. **

**Tell me what you think! Any typos I would love for you to point out. I am not good at proof reading :) Bye bye!**


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